Feeling like I can't be saved

[Mary08]

I grew up Catholic when I was a teenager I started going to a baptist church. After going for a month or so, I began believing the gospel and I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins, to come into my life and save me. For some reason I always felt like I was never really saved, and I found myself praying the sinners prayer often because I was always in doubt. Outwardly to other ppl in my church to them I appeared to be on fire for the Lord and at times I felt like I was then I always got to a point where I was in doubt. Then a few years later I moved back to where I grew up and went back to a lot of my old ways and eventually stopped reading my bible, and feeling conviction. I lived myself without any regard for God. Although I still believed that the bible was the truth!

Now 10 years later, I'm married to an unsaved man and I'm struggling daily with my beliefs and how I live my life. In my heart I want to live my life for God, be a missionary whatever it would be the Lord would have me to for him. Sometimes I'll be living my life right for a few days or weeks then I'll fall back to my old ways, and I just feel like I can't be saved. I feel like I'm losing my mind thinking about!!

I was reading Romans 1 & 2 today and Paul was talking about people who knew the truth, went and lived their lives in sins and he said God darkened their heart and gave them up to a reprobate mind. I don't want to be one of those!!

I know this post is all over the place but please take the time to read my craziness and I pray that someone has some advice and scripture to share with me.

Thanks!!

 

[GuardianShua]

I grew up Catholic when I was a teenager I started going to a baptist church. After going for a month or so, I began believing the gospel and I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins, to come into my life and save me. For some reason I always felt like I was never really saved, and I found myself praying the sinners prayer often because I was always in doubt. Outwardly to other ppl in my church to them I appeared to be on fire for the Lord and at times I felt like I was then I always got to a point where I was in doubt. Then a few years later I moved back to where I grew up and went back to a lot of my old ways and eventually stopped reading my bible, and feeling conviction. I lived myself without any regard for God. Although I still believed that the bible was the truth!

Now 10 years later, I'm married to an unsaved man and I'm struggling daily with my beliefs and how I live my life. In my heart I want to live my life for God, be a missionary whatever it would be the Lord would have me to for him. Sometimes I'll be living my life right for a few days or weeks then I'll fall back to my old ways, and I just feel like I can't be saved. I feel like I'm losing my mind thinking about!!

I was reading Romans 1 & 2 today and Paul was talking about people who knew the truth, went and lived their lives in sins and he said God darkened their heart and gave them up to a reprobate mind. I don't want to be one of those!!

I know this post is all over the place but please take the time to read my craziness and I pray that someone has some advice and scripture to share with me.

Thanks!!

Life is full of choices. choose life.

 

[genXer]

Mary-

Being saved is more than a feeling. When I was first saved, many many years ago it was a feeling. I hear some get that feeling and others do not. But over the years as I have matured in Christ I have learned that salvation is more than a feeling. There are times when I sin and feel so bad for it that I just know God has turned his back on me. I say "I just know" because that is what I am feeling. Then the sense of it all kicks in, that with Christ comes the guilt of sin, the knowledge of sin, the repenting. God hasn't turned his back on me and cannot do so. As Scripture points out, God would be a liar if he did turn his back on us and God is no liar!

Being saved is sometimes tricky. Scripture states to have faith in Christ as the one and only true Son of God, believe in him, repent of sins, love God with your body, mind, heart, soul... and love your neighbor as you love yourself. In any given day doing these things can exhaust me. Some days I feel inferior and some days I feel on top of the world.

You said:
"I was reading Romans 1 & 2 today and Paul was talking about people who knew the truth, went and lived their lives in sins and he said God darkened their heart and gave them up to a reprobate mind. I don't want to be one of those!!"

Paul is speaking about those that were in the faith, knew the faith, then turned their back on the faith. God will knock on a person's heart only so many times I think, and when that person keeps denying God and turning to the sinful ways of the world God pretty much says, "Hey, ok Joe. I love you regardless but you have chosen your way so I'll leave you alone now." The people that Paul speaks of turned to dark ways and left their faith in their wake. You are obviously NOT trying to do this!! So do not worry.

I can tell you that I do not think you should worry. Why? You have stated that you belive the Bible is truth. You have said that you would be up for missionary work or what work the Lord gives you. You stated that you accepted Christ... and it is obvious by your words.

Saved is immediate, Sanctified happens over a lifetime (however long God gives you on earth). You gotta understand that you are a work in progress for the Lord. The biggest key is prayer. KEEP PRAYING! God has three answers, "yes", "no", and "not yet". Humble yourself, pray, be sincere, and believe. You'll be good to go.

Also; by being saved you are open to demonic attack. Not talking about being possessed or anything but satan will be whispering in your ear to make you doubt your salvation. Pray on it! If you were not saved satan would not care to attack you because you already belong to him. He attacks you now because you belong to God.

Prayers to you!

 

[bsd13]

Mary, you should have kept reading further into Romans.

...if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. - Romans 10:9,10

You were saved when you did that. It's a done deal, because if you weren't then either God is a liar or the Bible is inaccurate. In which case it isn't the inerrant word of God.

Yes, salvation really is that easy.

 

[SoulFly51]

Hi Mary - I could feel your pain and uncertainty as I read your post.

First, do you have a community of faith you're plugged in to? If you don't have people around you that love the Lord and love you enough to care about your walk with Him, you're like a child without a family (an orphan).

Christians - people following Jesus - are meant to be together. We're meant to bring each other closer to Him and each other, and to bring others into a relationship with Him and with us.

If you aren't part of a community of faith then you need to be. Your walk with God isn't meant to be taken alone.

Secondly, have you been baptized as an adult?

Read Acts 2:38 and 22:16. Read also 1 Peter 3:21 and Romans 6. The Bible teaches that our sins are forgiven when we decide to die to ourselves and our old, sinful way of life, and are buried with Christ in baptism and rise out of the waters to live a new life ruled by Him.

If you've fallen back into sin, you need to repent.

Repentance is more than simply telling God you're sorry - its actually changing.

The Greek word tranlated into "repentance" is "metanoia," and it means to turn away from the sin in your life and turn toward God.

No one is perfect, everyone messes up, but there's a difference between trying hard to do right and follow God while making a mistake here and there, and living a life in complete rebellion to God.

Only you know where you stand for sure.

I highly encourage you to find a community of faith to be a part of - God's people are there to help you!

 

[jax5434]

Mary

someone with a darkend heart and reprobate mind would not be concerned about thei relationship with God. The fact that you are ; is your best evidence that this has not happened to you.
May i ask? Is your husband opposed to your faith? Being unequally yoked will make your walk more difficult. If there is any chance that he might become saved then that is what you need to pray for and work toward first.(and there is always a chance)
I agree with the poster who said that you need to find a good local church where you can enjoy a support network that can assist you much more than any of us can here.

God Bless
Jax

 

[trentlogain2]

What has your life been like after you prayed and asked God to forgive you and come into your heart. I'm not trying to draw any distinctions to works because I don't believe we're saved by works at all. Just wondering. Keep the faith

 

[Cris413]

Joh 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.
Joh 10:28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.
Joh 10:29 My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand.
Joh 10:30 I and My Father are one."


I also am convinced there can be a great distance of time between salvation and sanctification...

I was saved for 10 years before I had a personal relationship with our Lord and grew in the Spirit...and a couple times the enemy knocked me down...but Jesus lifted me right back up.

There is nothing we can do of our own merit, nor in our own strength that can earn or maintain salvation...It's all about Him and the grace and mercy offered at the cross. We believe it...we receive it and no one can take it from us.

Rom 8:37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
Rom 8:38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,
Rom 8:39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

[the.Sheepdog]

Cris is so right on I cannot improve on what she said. Once you are His, and you are beloved, No one can snatch you out of His Fathers hand.

No one. not even you. You can chose to think that you messed up, and maybe you did, but you can beleive that God can turn it all to good for His Glory.

You married an unsaved person. Yep. it happens. We are admonished not to do that, but to protect us- not to use it as a stick to beat us.

Maybe, just maybe dear heart, you are exactly where God would like you and in exactly the ministry you were called for. Your family!

get a bible and read it beloved. Especially the new testament. Romans or John is a good place to get grounded.

Not one of us is perfect in our actions, and as long as we live we will be subject to sin. These imperfect bodies cannot help it.

You are my sister, and I love you just as you are. Fear not!

 

[MARK777]

We do not save ourselves, when we commit ourselves to God, it is God who saves us, and as the scripture says, with God all things are possible, have Faith in God that he will save you and he will.

The very fact that you are seeking God and coming back to him means you are on the right path, it is not easy at times, but God has already worked out your salvation, we just need to live as if he has.

Mat 19:17 "Why do you ask me concerning what is good?" answered Jesus. "There is only One who is good. Keep the commandments if you want to enter life."
Mat 19:18 "What commandments?" he asked. Jesus answered, "Do not commit murder; do not commit adultery; do not steal; do not accuse anyone falsely;
Mat 19:19 respect your father and your mother; and love your neighbor as you love yourself."
Mat 19:20 "I have obeyed all these commandments," the young man replied. "What else do I need to do?"
Mat 19:21 Jesus said to him, "If you want to be perfect, go and sell all you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven; then come and follow me."
Mat 19:22 When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he was very rich.
Mat 19:23 Jesus then said to his disciples, "I assure you: it will be very hard for rich people to enter the Kingdom of heaven.
Mat 19:24 I repeat: it is much harder for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle."
Mat 19:25 When the disciples heard this, they were completely amazed. "Who, then, can be saved?" they asked.
Mat 19:26 Jesus looked straight at them and answered, "This is impossible for human beings, but for God everything is possible."

 

[Mary08]

I want to thank everyone for their kind words & encouragment, it really means a lot to me. genXer & bsd13 your post were the 1st I saw the night I posted and it really uplifted me! I wish I would have replied back sooner. genXer thanks for explaining Romans better for me!!

WesWoodell, I go to a Baptist church about once a month, I need to look into finding another church to go to. I'm trying to find a conservative non-denominational church. Yes I was baptisted not too long after I first got saved. I definately need to repent, that's actually what I do I keep asking for forgiviness of my sins and doing the same things. If someone was looking at my actions/ the way I live my life you'd never really think I was really sinning. It's mainly my thoughts, I struggle with selfishness & I let things get me frustrated when they aren't even really important. I'm feeling really convicted of it all the time, I just need to repent!! Everytime I ask for forgiveness I seem to go back to the same thinking pattern. Maybe I'm not truly repenting.

I'll reply back to the other posts in a bit! Thanks!!

 

[genXer]

You're welcome, Mary. If you need anything let me (or any of us) know. Prayers to you and yours!

 

[iamjcs]

I want to thank everyone for their kind words & encouragment, it really means a lot to me.
...
I definately need to repent, that's actually what I do I keep asking for forgiviness of my sins and doing the same things. If someone was looking at my actions/ the way I live my life you'd never really think I was really sinning. It's mainly my thoughts, I struggle with selfishness & I let things get me frustrated when they aren't even really important. I'm feeling really convicted of it all the time, I just need to repent!! Everytime I ask for forgiveness I seem to go back to the same thinking pattern. Maybe I'm not truly repenting.

I'll reply back to the other posts in a bit! Thanks!!

Hi & hope this helps.

The best way to prevent yourself from "asking for forgiviness of my sins and doing the same things" is to pray that God will not only forgive you, but renew a right spirit within you & help you not to repeat your past mistakes.
Ask & allow God to take control of your thoughts & see what a difference it can make.
Ask God to help you have His perspective.
God is on call to help you however you need it.

A Hug from above.

May God bless, help, & encourage you.

 

[toolite]

You'll drive yourself crazy trying to be perfect. Which you will never be and even the best of the best who may say they are close are not. Don't focus on being perfect focus on being real with God. I remember one time a intercessor told me to get naked before the Lord. When she said I didn't quite understand but, I didn't ask or seek clarification either. It means tell God when you not right and have enough faith in him that he will change you. Only the Lord saves and if only the Lord saves then he is truely the one along with your will - change you. Just pray that you be a benefit to others- helpful to others. The enemy will constantly remind you where you came from and what things you maybe doing that's not right but, I encourage to quickly remind the enemy that you have a Lord that loves you and he is working on you so in that God gives you peace. It's a process. Rather than to wish to be perfect - wish to be able to listen and be guided for God's purpose. God Bless You! Oh Yes you have enough Faith for your husband and through your Faith God will make everything complete.

All The Glory Belongs To God!

 

[Mary08]

Hi & hope this helps.

The best way to prevent yourself from "asking for forgiviness of my sins and doing the same things" is to pray that God will not only forgive you, but renew a right spirit within you & help you not to repeat your past mistakes.
Ask & allow God to take control of your thoughts & see what a difference it can make.
Ask God to help you have His perspective.
God is on call to help you however you need it.

A Hug from above.

May God bless, help, & encourage you.

Yeah I will do that, I need to find more time during the day to pray, I've been reading the bible more which is helping me. All of your words of encouragement on here has also helped me so much.

 

[guydon]

Mary,
I'm guessing you are fairly young. If this is the case take solace in the fact that as we age and gain wisdom, the choices in life become easier, being better becomes easier (for a lot of us anyway). As toolite said, you can not be perfect. God does not expect you to be. There will be set backs, but the good news is you are aware that you may not be as diligent as you feel you should be.

 

[one11]

I grew up Catholic when I was a teenager I started going to a baptist church. After going for a month or so, I began believing the gospel and I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins, to come into my life and save me. For some reason I always felt like I was never really saved, and I found myself praying the sinners prayer often because I was always in doubt. Outwardly to other ppl in my church to them I appeared to be on fire for the Lord and at times I felt like I was then I always got to a point where I was in doubt. Then a few years later I moved back to where I grew up and went back to a lot of my old ways and eventually stopped reading my bible, and feeling conviction. I lived myself without any regard for God. Although I still believed that the bible was the truth!

Now 10 years later, I'm married to an unsaved man and I'm struggling daily with my beliefs and how I live my life. In my heart I want to live my life for God, be a missionary whatever it would be the Lord would have me to for him. Sometimes I'll be living my life right for a few days or weeks then I'll fall back to my old ways, and I just feel like I can't be saved. I feel like I'm losing my mind thinking about!!

I was reading Romans 1 & 2 today and Paul was talking about people who knew the truth, went and lived their lives in sins and he said God darkened their heart and gave them up to a reprobate mind. I don't want to be one of those!!

I know this post is all over the place but please take the time to read my craziness and I pray that someone has some advice and scripture to share with me.

Thanks!!

Hi Mary, Yes it does seem you have a lot going on.

Such as: You show a photo of a child in your avatar. So I assume you are a Mom. You also state you are a wife to an unbeliever. And then you state you want to be a missionary.

I think you might be unhappy first of all with living an inharmonious spiritual life.

It's tough living in an inharmonious spiritual union. Is your husband a dedicated atheist or agnostic? Also, if you have fighting within this inharmonious spiritual union, I couldn't blame you for wanting to run away and be a missionary, but that won't solve or resolve the problems within your marriage and your unsettled spirit in regards to this.

I also might assume you want to be a missionary because you can't save your husband?

I do believe you are saved Mary, but perhaps you need to see some bearing of good works.

Well, you are a good mother I'd assume from the photograph, but perhaps you want more good works or works that will be recognized.

It sounds like your faith needs room to grow, but your marriage environment is stifling that? Is that a possibility? Or is it more such as a drinking problem of yourself? As you haven't stated what YOU have fallen back into?

If so, ease up on being a missionary to your husband right now and put it in God's hands and keep praying for him, and perhaps mission here on this forum for a start.

And sorry if this post is all over the place too, but you have several issues here with some information left out.

But lastly I'll say, you can change your behavior, but you cannot change your husband. Never marry a person thinking you can "change" them.

 

[one11]

What has your life been like after you prayed and asked God to forgive you and come into your heart. I'm not trying to draw any distinctions to works because I don't believe we're saved by works at all. Just wondering. Keep the faith

No we can't be saved by works. But faith without works is dead. Works are a manifestation of wanting to give or give back. They can also be full of joy and take the focus off ourselves.

 

[Mary08]

You'll drive yourself crazy trying to be perfect. Which you will never be and even the best of the best who may say they are close are not. Don't focus on being perfect focus on being real with God. I remember one time a intercessor told me to get naked before the Lord. When she said I didn't quite understand but, I didn't ask or seek clarification either. It means tell God when you not right and have enough faith in him that he will change you. Only the Lord saves and if only the Lord saves then he is truely the one along with your will - change you. Just pray that you be a benefit to others- helpful to others. The enemy will constantly remind you where you came from and what things you maybe doing that's not right but, I encourage to quickly remind the enemy that you have a Lord that loves you and he is working on you so in that God gives you peace. It's a process. Rather than to wish to be perfect - wish to be able to listen and be guided for God's purpose. God Bless You! Oh Yes you have enough Faith for your husband and through your Faith God will make everything complete.

All The Glory Belongs To God!

That's exactly what I think is that I have to be perfect, but I know that it is impossible. You are absolutely right, it's really been on my mind for awhile that I need to be more helpful to others! It's amazing how some of you right things that I've being convicted about!

 

[genXer]

Yeah I will do that, I need to find more time during the day to pray

Mary-
Just a reminder, if you can't find time then you make time to pray. Also, you can pray whenever you want. Pray in the shower, while driving to the store, while cooking. You can pray whenever you want to or feel a need to. Just be humble and step into God's space.

You're definately on the right track, many folks on here have affirmed that, and so does Jesus.