feeling insulted....

[OrangeHope]

right tomorrow on april 1st my bf and i will be together 6 months.
a friend of mine wanted to make plans with me to go out this weekend but i told her i can't cause thats the day danny and i will be together 6 months and we're gonna spend it all the day together, OR SO I THOUGHT.....

he was suppost to get together with friends today to play music, but in the end he stayed home and played on the computer. so he calls me up and i asked what we're doing tomorrow, and he says he might be going to his grandmothers b-day but he doesn't think he'll be going (which i totally understand and even told him he should go) but then he was like "well i just have to much to do tomorrow than to go visit gran, i made plans to meet with the guys tomorrow."

i donno i just feel pretty insulted since i told my friend i can't meet with her this weekend cause danny and i are gonna be together 6 months and then he go's and makes plans with his friends...lately we don't get to see each other much and is it too much for me to ask to spend all of the day together? should i tell him how i feel or just suck it up and let him go be with his friends?

 

[firenze]

Did he commit to spending that day with you?

 

[California Dreamin']

I like what BlueImpluse had to say. How are the cherry blossoms Blue?
I know that most guys do forget, whether it's a birthday or in your case 6 month anniversary. My stepdad doesn't even get me a birthday card and I live with him. haha.
Have a good time with your friend!

I dated someone before who did not believe in anniversaries before marriage.

 

[Mskedi]

Did you guys actually plan a day together? I mean, did you have plans set, mark off the day on your calendars and promise to spend it together?

Because if you did and he forgot, then that sucks.

But if you were just assuming that six months was as big a deal for him as it was for you, or that he'd even think of it as an anniversary, then you were just setting yourself up for disappointment.

At six months my idea of celebration is saying, "Cool... we've been together for six months!" Maybe he thinks about it on the same level as I do.

 

[Maeyken]

Unless you guys had made plans to spend the whole day together, I don't think he should have been expected to keep that day free and clear. It sounds like he already had some other potential plans (his grandmother's BD) that you encouraged him to have, so maybe he got a mixed message about you wanting to spend the day with him.

There are many people out there who don't get the point of "monthiversaries", myself included, and maybe your bf did not see 6 months as a milestone in need of huge celebration.

 

[alwayz_remember_Calvery]

i must agree with most of the other posters. Every month on the 21st my bf or I mention that we've been dating for X number of months and then go on with our lives. for our first anniversary we sort of went "hey, we've been dating for a year. That's a long time." and then went on with life.

If you guys hadn't made plans, you can't expect him to be able to read your mind and know that you had planned to spend the entire day with him.

I think you need to let it go. I don't even think you should mention it to him because i think you'd have a hard time getting it to come out right and not blame him for everything.

Next time you plan to spend the day with him, tell him.

 

[charligirl]

Managing your expectations is one of the most valuable lessons that can be learnt in a relationship - in this situation you get a chance to learn it early on.. which will stand you in good stead for your future and marriage one day

I can't tell you how many times I have been disappointed over the years when I have had my own expectations for certain things (which I never communicated by the way.. I just assumed the guy would somehow know!)

Men and women are so different *sigh* I think I will have to ask God just why He made us that way when I get to heaven I agree with the others, unless you had an agreement for this day then I don't think he is in the wrong - you built up an expectation of him that he is probably totally unaware of, and as Blue said, it's not really a true anniversary. Tell him how you felt, but don;t make a huge deal of it... just let him know you expect a good one year anniversary!

 

[loved]

I was like that at 1 month, and then 2 months, and then 3 ....and then I finall got it that it probably didnt' bother himas much as it did me.

1 year is quite an achievement so work up to that instead it worrying about every little date.

 

[OrangeHope]

thanks for your replys everone!

i guess i should have talked to him. in the end he spent the whole day with me, we watched movies and went out to eat.

to my surprise it was a big deal to him too! in 2 more weeks he gets some time off from work and he wants to take me down to the beach for a few days! yay plus it comes out on my b-day

 

[firenze]

Great.. I'm glad you are both on the same page and that things worked out

 

[revrobor]

If you're feeling insulted because your BF didn't mention celebrating a six month anniversary (kind of an immature thing IMO) then I think the problem may be with you. I hope by now you have realized you should have confirmed arrangements with him first. BTW, I've been married 36 years. Now THERE'S something to celebrate!

 

[awesome liver]

anniversaries are stupid. i am a man and i can confirm this as fact. a scientific fact.

maybe 1/10 men care, but yeah, most of us really don't. it's arbituary and it's a big waste of time.

/hates anniversaries of any sort
//does not celebrate own birthdays

 

[OrangeHope]

congrats revrobor! vbmenu_register("postmenu_23201579", true);

 

[Inperfected]

Anniversies are important a lot of the time to us girls... but as you can see, they aren't always to the men..

Tell them if you want to do something for that day, or say "Don't book tomorrow, theres gonna be a suprise, etc etc"... Don't just assume a man will know, that's the things abot men... they don't usually get "assumptions".

In my case, we've tried to remember each 1 month "anniverisary" but not celebrate as such (first couple we got icecream or soemthign similar).... I hope one or the other remember our 1 year together in less than a month... (Will be busy, he has to work, then drive 3 hours away from here with me...)

Marriage 1 monthers we will for a few months, good excuse for a date... THen we will go back tot he 1 yearly ones.