- Apr 17, 2012
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Hi everyone,
I'm 30 years old and I've been living on the streets for almost 4 years now. Last August I was diagnosed with brain cancer at the local hospital and since then I've been jumping through massive hoops to try to get any kind of assistance to deal with it, to no avail. It seems like the State has given up on me, that I don't matter to anyone anymore.
My friends all don't really like me anymore, because all I do now is complain about the pain. I can't wake up easily in my tent anymore and part of the day is spent standing dead still until my vision comes back (it flickers in and out and I can't see for between 30 seconds - an hour/complete darkness). I'm even getting tired of still being alive, and I've prayed to God for YEARS to help me get off the streets and nearly a year to make the symptoms of the brain cancer go away.
On top of all that, my back spasms all the time making it hard to walk, painful to sit, and the only relief I get is when I crawl back into my tent and lay down. There is no source for me to obtain pain meds like aspirin or tylenol anywhere near, because I obviously can't work because of this.
Simple truth is, I just can't handle all this anymore. I know it's an abomination for me to kill myself, but more often than not, I find myself begging the Lord to take me home. I just simply can't do it. Tell me what to do please, because I've exhausted all the resources I can think of, and I'm really ready to quit.
I'm 30 years old and I've been living on the streets for almost 4 years now. Last August I was diagnosed with brain cancer at the local hospital and since then I've been jumping through massive hoops to try to get any kind of assistance to deal with it, to no avail. It seems like the State has given up on me, that I don't matter to anyone anymore.
My friends all don't really like me anymore, because all I do now is complain about the pain. I can't wake up easily in my tent anymore and part of the day is spent standing dead still until my vision comes back (it flickers in and out and I can't see for between 30 seconds - an hour/complete darkness). I'm even getting tired of still being alive, and I've prayed to God for YEARS to help me get off the streets and nearly a year to make the symptoms of the brain cancer go away.
On top of all that, my back spasms all the time making it hard to walk, painful to sit, and the only relief I get is when I crawl back into my tent and lay down. There is no source for me to obtain pain meds like aspirin or tylenol anywhere near, because I obviously can't work because of this.
Simple truth is, I just can't handle all this anymore. I know it's an abomination for me to kill myself, but more often than not, I find myself begging the Lord to take me home. I just simply can't do it. Tell me what to do please, because I've exhausted all the resources I can think of, and I'm really ready to quit.