Feeling Evil

[mnfanboy4life]

I pray to Jesus everyday and ask Him to fill me with the Holy Spirit but most of the time I feel like I'm putting up a front and I'm truly this monster inside. I'm sick of feeling this way but won't commit suicide from a fear of eternal suffering.

 

[ripple the car]

I pray to Jesus everyday and ask Him to fill me with the Holy Spirit but most of the time I feel like I'm putting up a front and I'm truly this monster inside. I'm sick of feeling this way but won't commit suicide from a fear of eternal suffering.

Yeah, don't commit suicide. One part of following Christ is realizing that yes, we are deeply messed up, fall short horribly, and can not love Him anywhere near what He deserves. He is so great, and we are so little, and sinful. But there is hope. He loves us so much! Don't forget that! With His help, we can trust in Him, and follow Him. We will fall, but if we are willing to repent, He will gladly pick us up again, and help us to keep walking.

 

[Blade]

When I was young I went to this bible study and ..short it.. all they did was say.. do you want the holy Spirit? I said yes. they read some verses.. then asked me again and prayed for me. Stopped and said.. thats it you got it. See they believed if GOD said it HE WILL DO IT!

So..you asked? YOU GOT IT! Ooh YES! See we walk by faith no sight not hearing not FEELING! Paul said.. kind of like you .. the things I want to do I dont do.. what I dont want to do I do. Its no longer I that sin but sin that is in me. Do you see? We ALL have that flesh that monster.

YOU have a new spirit..that is created in righteousness and true holiness. Thats the REAL YOU! Until Christ comes and we are like Him we all battle this flesh. God is greater then your heart! You are in right standing with GOD.. aka RIGHTEOUSNESS! He sees you right now ..holy pure.. sinless THROUGH Christ. But if we sin..we repent and try not to do it again..

He is FOR YOU not against you.. He loves you.. He does NOT judge you nor condemn you. So... I bind the spirit of fear for God has not given you the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. I bind the spirit of suicide...and speak peace.. joy ...to replace it.. Dont let the enemy lie.. EVERYTHING you say.. is a lie form the enemy. So.... JOY comes in the morning.. You will never be the same..

For HE HAS started a good work in you.. just KNOW HE LOVES YOU! And He is NOT MAD IN ANYWAY.. He forgave you.. we dont forgive our selfs.. know HE DOES! So forgive your self.. something wonderful is about to happen..

 

[Messerve]

When I was young I went to this bible study and ..short it.. all they did was say.. do you want the holy Spirit? I said yes. they read some verses.. then asked me again and prayed for me. Stopped and said.. thats it you got it. See they believed if GOD said it HE WILL DO IT!

So..you asked? YOU GOT IT! Ooh YES! See we walk by faith no sight not hearing not FEELING! Paul said.. kind of like you .. the things I want to do I dont do.. what I dont want to do I do. Its no longer I that sin but sin that is in me. Do you see? We ALL have that flesh that monster.

YOU have a new spirit..that is created in righteousness and true holiness. Thats the REAL YOU! Until Christ comes and we are like Him we all battle this flesh. God is greater then your heart! You are in right standing with GOD.. aka RIGHTEOUSNESS! He sees you right now ..holy pure.. sinless THROUGH Christ. But if we sin..we repent and try not to do it again..

He is FOR YOU not against you.. He loves you.. He does NOT judge you nor condemn you. So... I bind the spirit of fear for God has not given you the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. I bind the spirit of suicide...and speak peace.. joy ...to replace it.. Dont let the enemy lie.. EVERYTHING you say.. is a lie form the enemy. So.... JOY comes in the morning.. You will never be the same..

For HE HAS started a good work in you.. just KNOW HE LOVES YOU! And He is NOT MAD IN ANYWAY.. He forgave you.. we dont forgive our selfs.. know HE DOES! So forgive your self.. something wonderful is about to happen..

YES! No Christian is 100% Christlike outwardly or inwardly. I don't think the rest of the world really understand the tug-of-war Christians live with on a daily basis and can be the reason behind why some Christians come across as cold or impatient. Maybe they're just weary.

That tug-of-war is sanctification in the process. Over time, the Spirit will begin winning more and more battles over the flesh, but only after years of engaging in that soul-battle. For some, I guess it does happen more easily, but people like me and you have a very strong flesh and so the road to Christlike-ness is longer and harder for us.

But it's worth it and you will start seeing more and more victories over time. You'll fail a lot, but He has already forgiven you for those things ahead of time and Satan has already lost the battle over you ultimately.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I pray to Jesus everyday and ask Him to fill me with the Holy Spirit but most of the time I feel like I'm putting up a front and I'm truly this monster inside. I'm sick of feeling this way but won't commit suicide from a fear of eternal suffering.

Is a small gold nugget any less quality than a bigger one? It is still gold whatever size it is. But what about a large nugget of fools gold? Does the size of that give it a better quality?

It sounds to me that you have said yes to Jesus and so you have grace in your heart, but it is a small, weak grace. But it is grace and has the same quality grace that a stronger with larger grace has. So having small grace which makes you struggle with your sanctification is no cause for discouragement.

Having a small spark of grace in your heart is no problem to Jesus because He can pour a bit of Holy Ghost petrol on it and fan it into a larger flame.

Value the small portion of grace that you have, and keep trusting in Jesus, who has taken that monster in you and taken it on the cross with Him. When you received Christ, He was crucified as you, and you became as Christ in God's view.

So, your faith is centred on how God sees you, more than how you see yourself. It is good that you see the monster in you, because that causes you to humble yourself before Christ. The one thing that God hates is pride in someone who thinks they are the spiritual bees knees. Humbling yourself before God because of your sinfulness releases His love and compassion for you. The Scripture says that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

God allows you to see the monster in yourself so that you turn away from trusting in yourself to be righteous, but to go to God's throne of grace to find mercy and grace and help in your time of need. The Scripture says, "We have the sentence of death in ourselves that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God, who raises the dead".

 

[danielmears]

So, you may not feel like you are filled with the spirit but you do not have to feel it. Say you are and only believe and it shall be. We are to live by faith, not sight, calling those things which be not as though they were. Then, have faith in your faith and you will see the manifestations of the Spirit! But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6

 

[Silverback]

I pray to Jesus everyday and ask Him to fill me with the Holy Spirit but most of the time I feel like I'm putting up a front and I'm truly this monster inside. I'm sick of feeling this way but won't commit suicide from a fear of eternal suffering.

Please go and see someone tonight, Droctor, Pastor, somebody. Even go to the Emergency Room if you have to...Promise!

 

[Dropout_Theologian]

You're worth it brother. Christ died and lives for us.

 

[mnfanboy4life]

Thank you all.

 

[mnfanboy4life]

Yeah, don't commit suicide. One part of following Christ is realizing that yes, we are deeply messed up, fall short horribly, and can not love Him anywhere near what He deserves. He is so great, and we are so little, and sinful. But there is hope. He loves us so much! Don't forget that! With His help, we can trust in Him, and follow Him. We will fall, but if we are willing to repent, He will gladly pick us up again, and help us to keep walking.

I'm not going to commit suicide. I just hate how my mind tells me these things that are unholy. I do give my heart to Christ. I choose good. It's just a nagging thought that the real me is a bad guy and I'm "faking it to make it".

 

[mnfanboy4life]

When I was young I went to this bible study and ..short it.. all they did was say.. do you want the holy Spirit? I said yes. they read some verses.. then asked me again and prayed for me. Stopped and said.. thats it you got it. See they believed if GOD said it HE WILL DO IT!

So..you asked? YOU GOT IT! Ooh YES! See we walk by faith no sight not hearing not FEELING! Paul said.. kind of like you .. the things I want to do I dont do.. what I dont want to do I do. Its no longer I that sin but sin that is in me. Do you see? We ALL have that flesh that monster.

YOU have a new spirit..that is created in righteousness and true holiness. Thats the REAL YOU! Until Christ comes and we are like Him we all battle this flesh. God is greater then your heart! You are in right standing with GOD.. aka RIGHTEOUSNESS! He sees you right now ..holy pure.. sinless THROUGH Christ. But if we sin..we repent and try not to do it again..

He is FOR YOU not against you.. He loves you.. He does NOT judge you nor condemn you. So... I bind the spirit of fear for God has not given you the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. I bind the spirit of suicide...and speak peace.. joy ...to replace it.. Dont let the enemy lie.. EVERYTHING you say.. is a lie form the enemy. So.... JOY comes in the morning.. You will never be the same..

For HE HAS started a good work in you.. just KNOW HE LOVES YOU! And He is NOT MAD IN ANYWAY.. He forgave you.. we dont forgive our selfs.. know HE DOES! So forgive your self.. something wonderful is about to happen..

I'm not going to commit suicide. I just hate how my mind tells me these things that are unholy. I do give my heart to Christ. I choose good. It's just a nagging thought that the real me is a bad guy and I'm "faking it to make it".

 

[mnfanboy4life]

YES! No Christian is 100% Christlike outwardly or inwardly. I don't think the rest of the world really understand the tug-of-war Christians live with on a daily basis and can be the reason behind why some Christians come across as cold or impatient. Maybe they're just weary.

That tug-of-war is sanctification in the process. Over time, the Spirit will begin winning more and more battles over the flesh, but only after years of engaging in that soul-battle. For some, I guess it does happen more easily, but people like me and you have a very strong flesh and so the road to Christlike-ness is longer and harder for us.

But it's worth it and you will start seeing more and more victories over time. You'll fail a lot, but He has already forgiven you for those things ahead of time and Satan has already lost the battle over you ultimately.

I'm not going to commit suicide. I just hate how my mind tells me these things that are unholy. I do give my heart to Christ. I choose good. It's just a nagging thought that the real me is a bad guy and I'm "faking it to make it".

 

[mnfanboy4life]

Is a small gold nugget any less quality than a bigger one? It is still gold whatever size it is. But what about a large nugget of fools gold? Does the size of that give it a better quality?

It sounds to me that you have said yes to Jesus and so you have grace in your heart, but it is a small, weak grace. But it is grace and has the same quality grace that a stronger with larger grace has. So having small grace which makes you struggle with your sanctification is no cause for discouragement.

Having a small spark of grace in your heart is no problem to Jesus because He can pour a bit of Holy Ghost petrol on it and fan it into a larger flame.

Value the small portion of grace that you have, and keep trusting in Jesus, who has taken that monster in you and taken it on the cross with Him. When you received Christ, He was crucified as you, and you became as Christ in God's view.

So, your faith is centred on how God sees you, more than how you see yourself. It is good that you see the monster in you, because that causes you to humble yourself before Christ. The one thing that God hates is pride in someone who thinks they are the spiritual bees knees. Humbling yourself before God because of your sinfulness releases His love and compassion for you. The Scripture says that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

God allows you to see the monster in yourself so that you turn away from trusting in yourself to be righteous, but to go to God's throne of grace to find mercy and grace and help in your time of need. The Scripture says, "We have the sentence of death in ourselves that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God, who raises the dead".

I'm not going to commit suicide. I just hate how my mind tells me these things that are unholy. I do give my heart to Christ. I choose good. It's just a nagging thought that the real me is a bad guy and I'm "faking it to make it".

 

[mnfanboy4life]

So, you may not feel like you are filled with the spirit but you do not have to feel it. Say you are and only believe and it shall be. We are to live by faith, not sight, calling those things which be not as though they were. Then, have faith in your faith and you will see the manifestations of the Spirit! But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6

I'm not going to commit suicide. I just hate how my mind tells me these things that are unholy. I do give my heart to Christ. I choose good. It's just a nagging thought that the real me is a bad guy and I'm "faking it to make it".

 

[mnfanboy4life]

Please go and see someone tonight, Droctor, Pastor, somebody. Even go to the Emergency Room if you have to...Promise!

I'm not going to commit suicide. I just hate how my mind tells me these things that are unholy. I do give my heart to Christ. I choose good. It's just a nagging thought that the real me is a bad guy and I'm "faking it to make it".

 

[ripple the car]

I'm not going to commit suicide. I just hate how my mind tells me these things that are unholy. I do give my heart to Christ. I choose good. It's just a nagging thought that the real me is a bad guy and I'm "faking it to make it".

You may be struggling with invasive thoughts. It is shocking, shocking, but also reassuring how many of us on here struggle with that.

I.e. "thinking bad / blasphemous things that we don't want to think". It's pretty common, and I suspect that it's essentially demonic. Satan basically trying to drive us to despair and get us to abandon faith in Christ.

 

[mnfanboy4life]

You're worth it brother. Christ died and lives for us.

I'm not going to commit suicide. I just hate how my mind tells me these things that are unholy. I do give my heart to Christ. I choose good. It's just a nagging thought that the real me is a bad guy and I'm "faking it to make it".

 

[mnfanboy4life]

You may be struggling with invasive thoughts. It is shocking, shocking, but also reassuring how many of us on here struggle with that.

I.e. "thinking bad / blasphemous things that we don't want to think". It's pretty common, and I suspect that it's essentially demonic. Satan basically trying to drive us to despair and get us to abandon faith in Christ.

You are right. I know it's Satan.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I'm not going to commit suicide. I just hate how my mind tells me these things that are unholy. I do give my heart to Christ. I choose good. It's just a nagging thought that the real me is a bad guy and I'm "faking it to make it".

If you were faking it, you wouldn't be talking this way. A person with an evil heart will not come to Christ for Him to shine His light on his sins, because he wants to keep his sins hidden.

But the person with grace will welcome Christ to come and shine His light on his sins, because he wants them brought to the light so the Lord can clean them out by helping him to confess his sins and thereby get total forgiveness and cleansing from all unrighteousness

You are openly declaring your sinfulness and not hiding it, and so there is much hope for you, and is evidence that there is grace in your heart.

 

[mnfanboy4life]

If you were faking it, you wouldn't be talking this way. A person with an evil heart will not come to Christ for Him to shine His light on his sins, because he wants to keep his sins hidden.

But the person with grace will welcome Christ to come and shine His light on his sins, because he wants them brought to the light so the Lord can clean them out by helping him to confess his sins and thereby get total forgiveness and cleansing from all unrighteousness

You are openly declaring your sinfulness and not hiding it, and so there is much hope for you, and is evidence that there is grace in your heart.

Thank you.