Feeling disconnected

[cherryblossom03]

I'm feeling kind of concerned about something. Dh is gone on another deployment and I get the feeling we're not as emotionally connected as we usually are. I know it's hard to be like that when he's gone, but it's not usually till he's been gone 6-8 months that I start feeling like this. It's like I don't care he's gone. I mean I miss him, but not like I did the first 2 deployments. The first 2 we did, I was more upset that he was gone. But this time it's totally different. My family and friends have commented on how upbeat I sound, which is weird since he's going to be gone longer this deployment than the first 2. I'm sorry if this is hard to follow, but is there something wrong with me? Does anyone have any ideas that we could do to try to get some closeness?

 

[LilyBride]

I don't think there's anything wrong with you, I just think that maybe you've become more accustomed to his deployments and they're not effecting you as much as they once did.

I'm not sure how long you've been married, but it could also be that the "newness" of marriage has worn off a bit and you're feeling more secure in your relationship.

At any rate, I don't think you should beat yourself up for not fervently missing him right away. Maybe it'll come, maybe it won't. But if it doesn't, I'd say it's more a sign of emotional stability then a problem.

 

[SabrinaFair]

I agree, you have just adjusted more to being in a deployed state in your marriage.

My Dad's work took him away for extended periods, and we basically developed two types of life- Life when he was at home, and life when he was gone. The transition back and forth between them only took a couple days at either end, leaving or returning.

That really is normal. The important thing is that you stay in touch, and focus on reconnecting well when he comes home.