Fears

[LittleOrphanAndy]

Im sorry if it sounds like a broken record the truth is i have no one to go to talk to that understands other than this forum.

Last night i had a terrible headache , i medicated myself with otc drugs and then the intrusive thoughts started ..

It was like a tidal wave of blasphemies and what scares me is that im not sure if i thought any of things deliberately or not .. Most of the time i can tell but its like when in pain and or realy stressed out the line blurs between what was youre own thought and this condition.

Does anyone know what i am talking about?

 

[marcb]

Yes, all too well....

 

[kaykay637]

Haven't dealt with this aspect specifically. I think it helps to remember, though, that you really don't have to monitor your thoughts, so to speak. If your heart doesn't want these thoughts, (and if it did you wouldn't care one way or the other in my opinion) anything else is just "mind clutter" triggered by the OCD.That's my .02 anyway.

 

[gracealone]

Yep, the anxiety can be so overwhelming that it's hard to even think clearly and then the fact that I can't sort anything out freaks me out and I begin to think that this is "the big one" where I've passed the point of no return. Not fun, but also not true. Just an OCD storm, that passes and leaves the real you still intact.
Hang in there, keep learning, don't look back, press on and walk.
Praying for you,
Mitzi

 

[LittleOrphanAndy]

mitzi what bothers me about that is the fact that the heart IS desperately wicked who can no it .. this is so true and it is a logical question .. how do you know that you know that you know it wasn't from youre heart ?

i know you can go crazy with that ..

To me its just not enough to know that i would not say this given the choice ,,

For example in youre sane moments lol how many times have you said something or thought something out of anger toward a human being and it just happened in the heat of the moment ..

this is scary stuff ..

Andy