Fear and the Christian Message

[TheBarrd]

Yes, that´s their very job, and a full-time job at that. Children are in desperate, vital need of getting to know how reality works.

Ok. Now you have told me some tragic stories about stuff that happened or could happen to children.
You have, however, not given any reason why and how fearing their fathers is the only or preferable solution, or any at all..

You asked me why children sometimes needed to be restrained.
This is why...

I´m particularly intrigued because one of the arguments I dealt with in my post was: Fear needn´t be instilled on children, they have it naturally. Here you give me plenty of examples where children run into problems because they had no fear of the pool, the fridge, the car, the knife ("or any number of things you never thought of").



Interesting story, but I am still missing the argument or explanation how fearing one´s father would be the only, best, preferable solution, or any solution at all.


I´m not sure what this choice has to do with children fearing their parents. Care to elaborate?




Now, that´s a common place I can totally agree with. It just doesn´t answer the question or support your view.

I suspect we are misapplying the term "fear", here.
I'm not talking about quivering in terror because there is an ax murderer loose in your area...
I'm talking about the kind of reluctance a kid might feel to show his Dad the "F" he got on his report card...
"Oh, boy, he's gonna be mad! He'll lock my bike up, and take my phone away..."
That kind of "fear"...

 

[quatona]

You asked me why children sometimes needed to be restrained.

No. I asked you for reasons why you feel children need to be punished and kept in fear of their parents.

This is why...

Except it doesn´t follow (even if we I follow you in ignoring the actual question I asked, and move on to the need to "restrain a kid". At all.

I suspect we are misapplying the term "fear", here.

Who are you, as in "we"?

I'm not talking about quivering in terror because there is an ax murderer loose in your area...

Niether am I.

I'm talking about the kind of reluctance a kid might feel to show his Dad the "F" he got on his report card...
"Oh, boy, he's gonna be mad! He'll lock my bike up, and take my phone away..."
That kind of "fear"...

Well, maybe "we [boith] are misapplying the term" here, but that´s exactly what I am talking about, as well.

 

[TheBarrd]

No. I asked you for reasons why you feel children need to be punished and kept in fear of their parents.


Except it doesn´t follow (even if we I follow you in ignoring the actual question I asked, and move on to the need to "restrain a kid". At all.




Who are you, as in "we"?

Niether am I.

Well, maybe "we [boith] are misapplying the term" here, but that´s exactly what I am talking about, as well.

On page 5 of this thread, in your post 95 (http://www.christianforums.com/threads/fear-and-the-christian-message.7891812/page-5#post-68095063) you asked me why children might need to be restrained.

Who am I? I am actually the widowed mother of seven kids, grandmother of fourteen...sixteen if you count stepkids...and great grandmother of four and counting.

Who are you?

 

[juvenissun]

Still close to the modern definition, and not something I would want a child of mine to experience for long periods.

Biblical fear (I have been told by my bible studying wife) was more like divine awe then fear. And even that I wouldn't want my child feeling towards me. Respect, yes. Trust, yes. But fear and awe are not, IMO, a healthy part of a child's emotions to their parents.

You do not have to worry about what kind of fear or owe or anything else you "want" your children to feel. Like I said, even you don't do anything, your children would still "fear" you. When you say NO to them, they fear. Don't you say No to them sometimes? If they do not fear any more when you said that, you better watch and figure out something else to do, you are failing in teaching them. Give punishment would be a good way to go for a while.

This should be one of the feeling we should always have toward God. Because He is more awesome than a father.

 

[com7fy8]

When I was a kid, I had not Christian parents. They used spanking and the hairbrush. But I think she used it only one time, and my father spanked me once. That was enough so I did not mess with either of them.

But . . . also . . . they were pretty "good" with us; so if they were doing good things with us and giving us attention and taking care of us, it could be quite a shock to have them change to being angry. And if they at all started getting displeased, this meant we were not doing the good things; so I was not interested in going against them.

So, it was not fear of losing their love, I would say, but I was practical > being good with them helped to keep me benefitting from being with them. I had something to lose, by messing things up and getting disrespectful.

But I did learn that while I was away from my parents, I could get away with messing with authority figures and other people who might not be as strong to discipline me. And I learned, "don't get caught".

 

[quatona]

On page 5 of this thread, in your post 95 (http://www.christianforums.com/threads/fear-and-the-christian-message.7891812/page-5#post-68095063) you asked me why children might need to be restrained.

I stand corrected. I am still not sure what exactly you mean by "restrained", but indeed that was the exact wording I responded to.

Who am I? I am actually the widowed mother of seven kids, grandmother of fourteen...sixteen if you count stepkids...and great grandmother of four and counting.

Thanks for telling me, but I don´t know how this information is relevant for our discussion. (Actually, I asked "Who are you?" in response to your "Maybe we are misapplying..." statement. IOW, I meant to ask whom else but yourself you included in the group of persons who possibly misapply the term.)
I understand that you have raised kids the way you felt fit, and that you are happy you did it that way. I understand that that is a great feeling.

Who are you?

I have no qualms telling you everything about myself that you want to hear (in which case you are welcome to send me a private message with these questions), but I fail to see how that´s relevant for the discussion here.

 

[TheBarrd]

I stand corrected. I am still not sure what exactly you mean by "restrained", but indeed that was the exact wording I responded to.


Thanks for telling me, but I don´t know how this information is relevant for our discussion. (Actually, I asked "Who are you?" in response to your "Maybe we are misapplying..." statement. IOW, I meant to ask whom else but yourself you included in the group of persons who possibly misapply the term.)
I understand that you have raised kids the way you felt fit, and that you are happy you did it that way. I understand that that is a great feeling.


I have no qualms telling you everything about myself that you want to hear (in which case you are welcome to send me a private message with these questions), but I fail to see how that´s relevant for the discussion here.

I did send you a p.m. I am a curious old lady.
You have not answered me.
It is relevant because you are making remarks as to how to raise children.
I want to know what experience you've had.

 

[Paulos23]

This should be one of the feeling we should always have toward God. Because He is more awesome than a father.

But then the child grows up, an so do people. No need to fear after that.

 

[TheBarrd]

But then the child grows up, an so do people. No need to fear after that.

Provided the parents did their job well. There are still civil authorities that must be considered...and the sanctions for "bad behavior" are much more serious than a possible smack on the bottom...

 

[Paulos23]

Provided the parents did their job well. There are still civil authorities that must be considered...and the sanctions for "bad behavior" are much more serious than a possible smack on the bottom...

You just gave me an opening, but I don't want to get this thread locked as a GA thread. So I will just point out that even with religion we still need police.

 

[TheBarrd]

You just gave me an opening, but I don't want to get this thread locked as a GA thread. So I will just point out that even with religion we still need police.

I'm not sure exactly what that observation has to do with the topic of this thread...

 

[.Mikha'el.]

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