Fear and the Christian Message

[Catherineanne]

I don't agree. No matter how loving the authority is, fear should always be part of the feeling for the loved. It could be hidden. But it MUST be there. Otherwise, the status of authority will no longer exist. A 90-year old father gets angry, his 50-year old son "should" still "fear". If he does not, then he is not a son any more.

That is a description of several generations of dysfunction.

Anyone gets angry with me I will get angry back. I am not going to take disrespect from anyone, no matter what their relationship to me might be. Anyone in any family needs to demonstrate and receive respect. There is no place for fear in a healthy family; that belongs firmly with the dysfunctional (aka abusive) ones.

 

[juvenissun]

There is no benefit whatever in physical assault of anyone. The smaller the person, the worse the effect.

Not in all cases. If it is done properly, it is definitely beneficial. I was hit a few times by my father and my teachers when I was a boy. I am very thankful to their teaching for all my life.

 

[juvenissun]

That is a description of several generations of dysfunction.

What disfunction?

 

[juvenissun]

What makes you think it is good to live in fear?

That is simply not true.

I never said that.

 

[juvenissun]

I would say that is not a good Father-child relationship. Trust and understanding I have found works better.

That is the goal. Physical lesson is a tool.

 

[Catherineanne]

Not in all cases. If it is done properly, it is definitely beneficial. I was hit a few times by my father and my teachers when I was a boy. I am very thankful to their teaching for all my life.

QED.

 

[Catherineanne]

What disfunction?

Attempting to control other people with anger is abusive. Did you not realise that?

 

[Catherineanne]

That is the goal. Physical lesson is a tool.

The only lesson from being hit by an adult is that the biggest and strongest person gets to win any argument by beating the other one into submission.

This is not a useful life goal for anyone to learn. The moment a child who has learned this lesson attempts to hit a younger child in school, they will find that they are on the wrong side of good, and this may well cause harm to their school career.

 

[juvenissun]

Attempting to control other people with anger is abusive. Did you not realise that?

It depends on what % of anger is involved. But, there MUST be some anger.

 

[Catherineanne]

It depends on what % of anger is involved. But, there MUST be some anger.

Why? What good does anger do in any family? Controlling other people with anger is abuse. It is as simple as that.

 

[juvenissun]

The only lesson from being hit by an adult is that the biggest and strongest person gets to win any argument by beating the other one into submission.

This is not a useful life goal for anyone to learn. The moment a child who has learned this lesson attempts to hit a younger child in school, they will find that they are on the wrong side of good, and this may well cause harm to their school career.

This is an exaggeration, an over exaggeration on what the tool is meant to.
I know what you said. But I think you have strong prejudice and you are not listening to what I said.
Please stop repeating yourself. Or I will not respond.

 

[Catherineanne]

This is an exaggeration, an over exaggeration on what the tool is meant to.
I know what you said. But I think you have strong prejudice and you are not listening to what I said.
Please stop repeating yourself. Or I will not respond.

Don't flatter yourself.

 

[juvenissun]

Why? What good does anger do in any family? Controlling other people with anger is abuse. It is as simple as that.

Last time, no one is talking about "controlling".

 

[Paulos23]

That is the goal. Physical lesson is a tool.

Physical lesson? As in corporal punishment?

 

[Paulos23]

This is an exaggeration, an over exaggeration on what the tool is meant to.
I know what you said. But I think you have strong prejudice and you are not listening to what I said.
Please stop repeating yourself. Or I will not respond.

I am sorry, but it is possible to raise a well behaved child without hitting.

To me, you are looking for respect and settling for fear if you hit the child. I find explaining things and not telling lies goes much further. And engaging with your child is also a big help.

 

[Davian]

Of course not, an adult is responsible for himself. However, I am not sure when should physical lessons (include beating) be stopped. I guess it is also an art.
No benefit to me. All benefits go to the children.

Only the beating of children is a good thing. Got it. Do you report yourself to the proper authorities once you have done this?

 

[juvenissun]

Only the beating of children is a good thing. Got it. Do you report yourself to the proper authorities once you have done this?

Yes.

 

[Davian]

Yes.

Are they okay with you beating children? Around here I could go to jail for that, or have my children taken away at the very least.

 

[juvenissun]

I am sorry, but it is possible to raise a well behaved child without hitting.

To me, you are looking for respect and settling for fear if you hit the child. I find explaining things and not telling lies goes much further. And engaging with your child is also a big help.

No. Not for me, but for them. Children are afraid (fear) of parents no matter you hit them or not.

 

[juvenissun]

Physical lesson? As in corporal punishment?

Make child physically uncomfortable.