Fasting struggles.

[kamikat]

Anyone else have to go through an hour of negotiaions before they can come to an agreement on what to eat that night?

Are you waiting until that night to decide what to eat?!?! Take it from a mom with picky eaters. Pick a day, every week, to plan you menus for a week. Post them on the fridge, make your grocery list based on those menus and stick to it. If you're out of ideas, get some new vegetarian or vegan cookbooks from your local library. Go through the cookbooks together with your wife. Try to find things that appeal to both of you. Not only will you both be happier at the end of each day, but you save money by planing ahead and sticking to a shopping list.

kamikat

 

[kamikat]

I assume this might be referring to more than just food

Well, at least Forgivensinner didn't have this struggle for at least one day when his wife "left him." lol

I guess that's one good thing about being married to an atheist. I was told it's unbiblical to ask a non-believer spouse to participate in a marital fast.

kamikat

 

[HandmaidenOfGod]

Are you waiting until that night to decide what to eat?!?! Take it from a mom with picky eaters. Pick a day, every week, to plan you menus for a week. Post them on the fridge, make your grocery list based on those menus and stick to it. If you're out of ideas, get some new vegetarian or vegan cookbooks from your local library. Go through the cookbooks together with your wife. Try to find things that appeal to both of you. Not only will you both be happier at the end of each day, but you save money by planing ahead and sticking to a shopping list.

kamikat

Good idea!

 

[Xpycoctomos]

I guess that's one good thing about being married to an atheist. I was told it's unbiblical to ask a non-believer spouse to participate in a marital fast.

kamikat

Darn it! and i got the Christian girl who decided to become Orthodox!

 

[HandmaidenOfGod]

eoe,

I grew up vegetarian in a house of omnivores. I live on side dishes. Isn't there anything that your wife will cook that can either A: have the meat/dairy left out of some of it or B: can have meat added just on top or something? If you can isolate the meat to one part of the meal, you can easily leave it out.

Like, make baked lemon chicken and have rice, salad, a veggie, etc, as side dishes, then cook a veggie burger pattie for yourself and mix it into the rice with some salsa or something.

If she wants to have mac'n'cheese, have her leave some noodles out plain for you, and cook yourself up some peanut sauce and veggies and have fake Thai.

Make vegetarian chili and brown some ground beef on the side. Or even better, make the chili with TVP in it and I bet they would think they were eating meat (it's lightly chewy, but has no taste) Make shrimp alfredo and leave the sauce on the side. Have a breakfast night with pancakes made with applesauce, fruit, and some veggie-sausage (odds are your family would never know if you didn't tell them--and if you didnt eat it either, if you're avoiding meat-like substitiutes--you could get them liking soy!!)

Or have family salad bar night, where you have a billion toppings to choose from (carrots, celery, beets, sunflower seeds, cucumber, broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, olives, spinach, garbonzo beans, AND cheese, grilled chicken strips, and bacon bits...everyone can put what they want on it, and you can just leave out the meat/dairy!

Compromises like that are what I'm accustomed to doing all the time, and it normally works out quite well. There's a billion ideas!!!

Brilliant!

 

[Xpycoctomos]

Or have family salad bar night

Wait a minute... are you comparing the Faith to a Salad bar!!???!!






kidding

 

[Dust and Ashes]

I assume this might be referring to more than just food

Well, at least Forgivensinner didn't have this struggle for at least one day when his wife "left him." lol

That's kind of an odd subject around here. We actually started that part of the fast in mid February when she found out she was pregnant (Dr.'s orders). But the wierd thing is my drive has really gone down with her being pregnant and I've switched into protector mode or something. I want her close to me all the time and hate it when we're apart but the "need" for that kind of intimacy has really dropped off.

 

[Tsarina]

Are you waiting until that night to decide what to eat?!?! Take it from a mom with picky eaters. Pick a day, every week, to plan you menus for a week. Post them on the fridge, make your grocery list based on those menus and stick to it. If you're out of ideas, get some new vegetarian or vegan cookbooks from your local library. Go through the cookbooks together with your wife. Try to find things that appeal to both of you. Not only will you both be happier at the end of each day, but you save money by planing ahead and sticking to a shopping list.

kamikat

You must be a very organized person.

 

[eoe]

Go through the cookbooks together with your wife.

I have cookbooks coming out of my ears and my roomate in college was a culinary institute of america graduate. I have no problem cooking. I will go thru literally 50 options and get "no" or worse to all of them. She will eat nothing that comes out of the water. No fish, shrimp, crab, lobster nothing. If it comes out of the water she will not go near it. I myself am allergic to shrimp so that is no help.

I think I am just going to have to take care of myself and let her fend for herself. I hate to do that but I have no clue what else to do.

On a brighter note: I discovered falafel today....mmmm. That does not help this situation.. but it was still a good thing.

 

[choirfiend]

Dont cook stuff with fish!!

No one in my family likes seafood, and somehow, we survive Lent intact.

 

[eoe]

Dont cook stuff with fish!!

I'm not... Especially because fish isn't allowed. I mention that just to show how this goes. I can not do any of the little loop-holey foods like shrimp, clams, etc. (although I did sneak off for some oysters the other day)

I am sure that it is me that is at fault here. I know it is. But if I see one more plate of pasta I am going to puke. I can not even stand the thought of it at this point. Not only am I sick of it but I do not need to be eating foods that are super dense in calories and totally lacking in nutritional quality.

The problem is that it takes practice and preperation to do this and I have neither at this point. All my preperation(hours) has been tanked. I have about 4 recipies that don't get a "no" and about 500 (literally) that do. That is a struggle for me.

 

[choirfiend]

What about anything I listed above? Are those all tanked ideas?

This doesnt have to be all new ideas--see what you can do to cook things that you normally do, but maybe separate out the sauce or the meat to be added at each diner's discretion.

 

[eoe]

Meat?

Huh?

My wife is fasting as well. That is the problem. Our tastes in the vegetarian foods are polar opposite.

This is not an issue of someone wants to eat meat. There is no meat.

Normally we can get along really well as far as foods go. IT is jsut when it comes to the fast friendly foods that we are totally opposite.

She eats black eyed peas. I can not stand to be in the same house with the retched things. I like soybeans and hummus. She won't walk into a mediterranian restaraunt because of the smell of spices.

Basically if you think of the cultures that have lots of vegetarian foods: Greek, Lebanese Mediterranean etc.. those are all the ones that she hates.

If you take good ol' southern "fry it or boil it till it is no longer recognizeable" veggies - that is what she likes. That is also what I dispise.

Therein lies the rub.

We both like Steak. We both like Chicken. No worries there.
Can't stand the veggies she eats. She can't stand the ones I do.
We did not realize this so much during the wed. fri. fasts because... well... I can deal with having stir fry once a week (even though I don't like it). Having it 3 times a week for 7 weeks without having anything that I like in between is a very hard thing for me to deal with. Especially when what is between is angelhair and marinara (over and over and over.....)

 

[choirfiend]

OOOOOOOOh!

I thought you were in a mixed marriage


huh. I guess there's always salad?

 

[choirfiend]

Yes, I would totally advise some separate cooking
two picky eaters, huh? How did you never notice this before?

 

[eoe]

How did you never notice this before?

Like I said... when it comes to normal foods we have no issues. If I am grilling her a steak I can make myself tuna or salmon with no problem.
We have also had 10 years to fight out a menu that we can both live with. The fast has just upended our eating habits and it is tough. I imagine it will get easier with practice.

 

[choirfiend]

I just wonder what else you ate besides the steak or tuna...

 

[kamikat]

.

Basically if you think of the cultures that have lots of vegetarian foods: Greek, Lebanese Mediterranean etc.. those are all the ones that she hates.

Is it that she's not willing to try new foods? Have you tried other cuisine? There's lots of great Indian vegetarian, Thai, Chinese, even Mexican.
You could try this book http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1570670927/002-6282502-7040866?v=glance&n=283155
Here's a website for a TV show called Southern Vegetarian. They have some recipes
http://www.turnersouth.com/network/shows/home-plate/episodes/article/0,,2588,00.html
There's also a series of cookbooks called The Vegetarian Table. Each book is a different country. They have a French one, North African one, Mexico, Japan, Thai, even America. I have a couple of these and they're great!
I hope things get a little easier.

 

[eoe]

Is it that she's not willing to try new foods?

Yes.

Have you tried other cuisine?

I have not tried urdu yet.

There's lots of great Indian vegetarian, Thai,

Wont touch them.

Chinese, even Mexican.

Can do these but how often? Mexican the options are pretty limited in my experience. Beans and rice only go so far.

You could try this book http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/157...lance&n=283155
Here's a website for a TV show called Southern Vegetarian. They have some recipes
http://www.turnersouth.com/network/s...,,2588,00.html
There's also a series of cookbooks called The Vegetarian Table. Each book is a different country. They have a French one, North African one, Mexico, Japan, Thai, even America. I have a couple of these and they're great!

I appreciate the suggestions. Like I said - I will literally offer 50+ suggestions and get shot down to all of them.

I hope things get a little easier.

THANK YOU!
(That's really all I wanted to hear)

 

[kamikat]

I appreciate the suggestions. Like I said - I will literally offer 50+ suggestions and get shot down to all of them.

THANK YOU!
(That's really all I wanted to hear)

I hate to play pop pscychologist, but do you think she is turing down all your suggestions because she is resisting the fast? That maybe if she's trying to convince herself that if she can't find anything that's Lenten for her to eat, then she can stop fasting?

kamikat