Hi guys! I am currently on my first day of fasting. After 7 years of being apart from my first love, we got to talk again. I was 15 when we became a couple of 4 years. He is a Christian and I am the only Christian in my family. Our parents were against us. We lived separate lives without communication for 7 years because of what I did to him. We had no closure whatsoever because I cheated and lied to him when I was younger, I know it's my fault, and I replaced him with a non-Christian guy.
After 7 years, he broke up with his girlfriend (now ex) on May 2015 and I broke up with mine (now ex boyfriend - the one I replaced him with) on June 2015. Before this happened, the Lord gave me a dream 3 years ago that I am with my first love again at the back of a truck lying down while we were laughing, counting stars and the clouds formed a word (which I forgot). I do know that this dream has a meaning because we have no communication for 5 years when this happened and I don't think about him. Just out of the blue, this dream came to me to my surprise. I told my sister about this dream but she can longer remember the words the cloud formed when I told her.
When I broke up with the second guy (we were together for 7 years and about to get married this year), I had no idea that my first love also broke up with his girlfriend (now ex). Someone told me but I have accepted that we may no longer talk to each other anymore because of what I did to him. Now, while I was moving on from my recent ex boyfriend, something happened which led me to talk to my first love. We live in a small town where everyone knew everyone. We were both told that my recent ex boyfriend was asking for the number of my first love's recent ex girlfriend (does that make sense?).
We were both angry and since I wanted to know if this is true, I sent him a message on facebook. And this is where we got to talk again. Now the things is, he has another girlfriend (a non-Christian who has a long time crush on him offered to be his comforter while he is moving on and since he is in pain, I don't know what has gotten into him, but he accepted.) So therefore, he is now in a relationship with someone he really doesn't love.
Now, we are friends again. I now have a Christian family; my family was saved when my niece was born last 2 years ago and they are now supportive of my first love. His family as well, they want us to be together. We have plans for our town's ministry. He is the leader of the music ministry and I am the leader of our dance ministry. We made plans on how to gather the youth in our town to Christ. Going back to the dream I had 3 years ago, I believe this is what the Lord wants us to do. The thing is, I still love him and he still loves me. BUT because of what I did, he no longer fully trust me and sometimes, when we are happy, the bad memories we had would cloud over him. I always ask for forgiveness but I know it won't be enough (he nearly committed suicide when I cheated on him.) He was my first and I was his. I know I cannot help him alone, I need God to do this with me.
Now he wants to break up with his current girlfriend (they will be one year next month) but he doesn't love her the way he loves me and doesn't know how to do this. He plans on focusing on himself at the moment and with the ministry. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone for now. But the thing is, he is afraid of giving me a second chance because he doesn't know if he will survive this time. I was angry and guilty with myself for what happened. I prayed to God for forgiveness and I know God has forgiven me. But my first love is having a hard time with this and I totally understand.
I have decided to do fasting and praying for God to help him recover and to help him make the right decisions. To give him strength to do what is necessary and to forgive me fully. As I opened the book "365 Bible Promises by Alice Chapin" the title of the chapter I accidentally turned into was "Waiting and Trusting" so I know the Lord is speaking to me indeed. I have asked Him to make it clear for me and to give us both signs to repair what was broken. Also, to help him have the strength to break up with his current girlfriend and to commit himself fully to God first. I believe in the promise God gave me and I want to take care of him for the rest of my life. The things that happened to us are not coincidence. I know God has a plan for us both. I also ask for your prayers. I will let you know soon what will happen to us. To God be the glory, honor and praise! He is working on our lives.
After 7 years, he broke up with his girlfriend (now ex) on May 2015 and I broke up with mine (now ex boyfriend - the one I replaced him with) on June 2015. Before this happened, the Lord gave me a dream 3 years ago that I am with my first love again at the back of a truck lying down while we were laughing, counting stars and the clouds formed a word (which I forgot). I do know that this dream has a meaning because we have no communication for 5 years when this happened and I don't think about him. Just out of the blue, this dream came to me to my surprise. I told my sister about this dream but she can longer remember the words the cloud formed when I told her.
When I broke up with the second guy (we were together for 7 years and about to get married this year), I had no idea that my first love also broke up with his girlfriend (now ex). Someone told me but I have accepted that we may no longer talk to each other anymore because of what I did to him. Now, while I was moving on from my recent ex boyfriend, something happened which led me to talk to my first love. We live in a small town where everyone knew everyone. We were both told that my recent ex boyfriend was asking for the number of my first love's recent ex girlfriend (does that make sense?).
We were both angry and since I wanted to know if this is true, I sent him a message on facebook. And this is where we got to talk again. Now the things is, he has another girlfriend (a non-Christian who has a long time crush on him offered to be his comforter while he is moving on and since he is in pain, I don't know what has gotten into him, but he accepted.) So therefore, he is now in a relationship with someone he really doesn't love.
Now, we are friends again. I now have a Christian family; my family was saved when my niece was born last 2 years ago and they are now supportive of my first love. His family as well, they want us to be together. We have plans for our town's ministry. He is the leader of the music ministry and I am the leader of our dance ministry. We made plans on how to gather the youth in our town to Christ. Going back to the dream I had 3 years ago, I believe this is what the Lord wants us to do. The thing is, I still love him and he still loves me. BUT because of what I did, he no longer fully trust me and sometimes, when we are happy, the bad memories we had would cloud over him. I always ask for forgiveness but I know it won't be enough (he nearly committed suicide when I cheated on him.) He was my first and I was his. I know I cannot help him alone, I need God to do this with me.
Now he wants to break up with his current girlfriend (they will be one year next month) but he doesn't love her the way he loves me and doesn't know how to do this. He plans on focusing on himself at the moment and with the ministry. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone for now. But the thing is, he is afraid of giving me a second chance because he doesn't know if he will survive this time. I was angry and guilty with myself for what happened. I prayed to God for forgiveness and I know God has forgiven me. But my first love is having a hard time with this and I totally understand.
I have decided to do fasting and praying for God to help him recover and to help him make the right decisions. To give him strength to do what is necessary and to forgive me fully. As I opened the book "365 Bible Promises by Alice Chapin" the title of the chapter I accidentally turned into was "Waiting and Trusting" so I know the Lord is speaking to me indeed. I have asked Him to make it clear for me and to give us both signs to repair what was broken. Also, to help him have the strength to break up with his current girlfriend and to commit himself fully to God first. I believe in the promise God gave me and I want to take care of him for the rest of my life. The things that happened to us are not coincidence. I know God has a plan for us both. I also ask for your prayers. I will let you know soon what will happen to us. To God be the glory, honor and praise! He is working on our lives.
