Oh my gosh I am so frustrated right now, I can barely see straight.
Can someone help me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Heres the lowdown. I have three kids. Oldest is with someone else, others are with my husband.
My oldest's child's father is basically, a deadbeat. I won't lie. He hasn't seen her in 2 years, because I took away his visitation because he is a drug addict. He's been addicted to crack, cocaine, weed, alcohol, prescription drugs...everything. A year ago he even overdosed and ended up in intensive care, two days after being released from jail. Not very much a winner. Has been in and out of our daughters life.
Recently he ended up back in jail. He stayed for 30 days, and when he got out he went to stay with his parents in another town. He is trying to clean up his act, and getting out of the city is a part of it.
It's been on my heart the last few days to reach out and show him some encouragement. I was just thinking a card, and maybe letting him talk to our daughter. Not meet with her, of course, not yet.
Problem is: my husband. He has been with me since my daughter was 9 months old. She calls him dad. He loves her dearly. And he doesn't support it at all. I just tried discussing it with him, and he shot it down without a doubt. Said he is a waste of space, that he is always going to be a coke-head, and it will be over his dead body that he will ever see her again. He said he has to prove to him that he has changed. But he refuses to talk to him or anything, so I don't know how he will know if he's changed or not.
I told him that wasn't a good attitude, that if his father were to quit drinking that he would offer his support. He screamed at me for bringing his father into it. He said if I wanted to, I could do whatever. I said no, that I wouldn't do it without his support, because I don't want to deal with relationship repercussions. He said there will be done, do whatever I want. I told him no, I wouldn't do it without his okay, I'd just be a spiteful and hateful person just like him. (Youch)
He left for bowling now, so here I sit with all my thoughts. I really want to find balance here. Between doing what I feel I should do (as in reaching out to someone struggling) and submitting as a wife. I love my husband, he really is a great guy. He is so devoted to our family, and so protective. But he can get so angry when he feels his family is threatened. I just don't know what to do.
Any advice????
Can someone help me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Heres the lowdown. I have three kids. Oldest is with someone else, others are with my husband.
My oldest's child's father is basically, a deadbeat. I won't lie. He hasn't seen her in 2 years, because I took away his visitation because he is a drug addict. He's been addicted to crack, cocaine, weed, alcohol, prescription drugs...everything. A year ago he even overdosed and ended up in intensive care, two days after being released from jail. Not very much a winner. Has been in and out of our daughters life.
Recently he ended up back in jail. He stayed for 30 days, and when he got out he went to stay with his parents in another town. He is trying to clean up his act, and getting out of the city is a part of it.
It's been on my heart the last few days to reach out and show him some encouragement. I was just thinking a card, and maybe letting him talk to our daughter. Not meet with her, of course, not yet.
Problem is: my husband. He has been with me since my daughter was 9 months old. She calls him dad. He loves her dearly. And he doesn't support it at all. I just tried discussing it with him, and he shot it down without a doubt. Said he is a waste of space, that he is always going to be a coke-head, and it will be over his dead body that he will ever see her again. He said he has to prove to him that he has changed. But he refuses to talk to him or anything, so I don't know how he will know if he's changed or not.
I told him that wasn't a good attitude, that if his father were to quit drinking that he would offer his support. He screamed at me for bringing his father into it. He said if I wanted to, I could do whatever. I said no, that I wouldn't do it without his support, because I don't want to deal with relationship repercussions. He said there will be done, do whatever I want. I told him no, I wouldn't do it without his okay, I'd just be a spiteful and hateful person just like him. (Youch)
He left for bowling now, so here I sit with all my thoughts. I really want to find balance here. Between doing what I feel I should do (as in reaching out to someone struggling) and submitting as a wife. I love my husband, he really is a great guy. He is so devoted to our family, and so protective. But he can get so angry when he feels his family is threatened. I just don't know what to do.
Any advice????