false memories?

[iceflower]

Has anyone else had problems with knowing what's real about their past - what really happened?
I know something bad happened and i know who was around - but i seem to have blanked out the main part. I know i was going to speak but i decided that i couldn't because i would be killed if i did, or my dad would be killed. Around this time my grandad died, and as i was little i mistakenly thought that he must have been murdered. I now am so relieved because i know that this wasn't the case, but still memories are elusive.

The trouble is i left my son with the person concerned basically because i had lots of breakdowns as this surfaced and then i doubted myself what i had remembered. This was before i was a Christian. I believe something happened to my son and he tried to tell me - but was too scared.

I have no evidence. It is so frustrating. I am tired of being nice to people. My credibility has totally gone as i had numerous breakdowns and got diagnosed with psychotic depression.

How does one differentiate between a real memory and a 'dream' or nightmare?

 

[goldenviolet]

what if you started a journal about what you remember? maybe seeing out will help you sort it out. theraphy too, maybe an avenue to help support you through these things.

*hug* i think for traumas and such, it plays on us all differently, but it does effect us mentally. why i'm saying this, is because how your thoughts are 'playing' you, is probly normal for your situation. i pray you find the help that will help you manage through this all, and have a firmer grip on your questions, answers, memories.

~ love dee

 

[iceflower]

Thanks dee,
I have written in the past, but not in a journal as such - i've just thrown most of what i've written away. Perhaps it would be better to write it down all in one place.
I have seen a psychologist but the focus was on treating my 'thinking' rather than looking at why i thought that way.
Thanks for posting,

Rachel x

 

[goldenviolet]

bless your heart

 

[SarahsForgiven]

yes. I think it is Gods way of protecting our minds. I have a lot of those moments. As a kid i used to make up things to make my life sound worse than it was so i felt better about what was really happening. I know the pain of wanting to know but not remembering what was a dream and what was real.

 

[EbonNelumbo]

Repression is what happened with me. I simply found a way to suppress everything, and did it. Unfortunately, my mind seems to pick the worst times to recall things...and when I repressed the traumas, the good things went too.

 

[ForAMomentIWillFly]

I tried to convince everyone else nothing was wrong, eventually I started believing it.