- Feb 8, 2015
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Warning: Get ready for a wall of text.
I was reading through Hebrews when a verse caught my attention. "It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting Him to public disgrace." -Hebrews 6:4 (NIV)
This verse greatly concerns me. I grew up a Christian and always believed in God. I had always believed that Jesus was my Lord and Savior, but in the 10th grade I was questioning my faith (I was studying Deism and found it appealing. I wondered why I was a Christian and decided that I was just blindly following my parents and so I converted to Deism.
It lasted about an hour until I felt guilty and went back to Christianity. I do not know if that counted as falling away as it was only an hour and I was a teenager, so I was probably just being silly and indecisive.
By switching to Deism, I had fallen away, but I knew it was wrong. Despite calling myself a Deist, I knew Christianity was true, I just liked the idea of Deism. Deists reject that Jesus is the Son of God, even though I called myself one, I do not think I actually rejected him, my brain was like "He might be and He might not be" while in my heart I knew that He is.
The reason I found Deism appealing is that I am a very analytical person and I liked how the Deists portrayed God. At this time I was a Christian by beliefs, but I did not care if I did good works and tried to fit God into a Deistic perspective while still be Christian (believing that Jesus as the Son of God.) I was cold and apathetic and liked the Deistic God as a passive and neutral observer.
However, about a month ago, I do not know what stirred me to, but I started to study the bible more and living like a Christian (or at least trying to.) I do struggle with one sin that is an on and off thing for me. (I will not say what it is as it is kind of embarrassing and has negative connotations. He keep praying to God to help me overcome it and I might prevail for a day or two before I do it again. I want to overcome it but it is hard.
In either of these two cases, have I fallen away? If so, is it too late to go back to God, or am I doom to condemnation in hell?
I was reading through Hebrews when a verse caught my attention. "It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting Him to public disgrace." -Hebrews 6:4 (NIV)
This verse greatly concerns me. I grew up a Christian and always believed in God. I had always believed that Jesus was my Lord and Savior, but in the 10th grade I was questioning my faith (I was studying Deism and found it appealing. I wondered why I was a Christian and decided that I was just blindly following my parents and so I converted to Deism.
It lasted about an hour until I felt guilty and went back to Christianity. I do not know if that counted as falling away as it was only an hour and I was a teenager, so I was probably just being silly and indecisive.
By switching to Deism, I had fallen away, but I knew it was wrong. Despite calling myself a Deist, I knew Christianity was true, I just liked the idea of Deism. Deists reject that Jesus is the Son of God, even though I called myself one, I do not think I actually rejected him, my brain was like "He might be and He might not be" while in my heart I knew that He is.
The reason I found Deism appealing is that I am a very analytical person and I liked how the Deists portrayed God. At this time I was a Christian by beliefs, but I did not care if I did good works and tried to fit God into a Deistic perspective while still be Christian (believing that Jesus as the Son of God.) I was cold and apathetic and liked the Deistic God as a passive and neutral observer.
However, about a month ago, I do not know what stirred me to, but I started to study the bible more and living like a Christian (or at least trying to.) I do struggle with one sin that is an on and off thing for me. (I will not say what it is as it is kind of embarrassing and has negative connotations. He keep praying to God to help me overcome it and I might prevail for a day or two before I do it again. I want to overcome it but it is hard.
In either of these two cases, have I fallen away? If so, is it too late to go back to God, or am I doom to condemnation in hell?