Faith Over Fear?

[3choes]

Hey Everyone!

I wanted to reach out to the community on here as something has been deeply weighing on my heart and mind. This past Thursday (February 15th) was my 29th birthday - I had a tonsillectomy. I had been ill since Christmas Eve of 2023 with recurring strep throat and 3 rounds of antibiotics. Now, that should all be gone! I am on day 5 of recovery in quite a bit of pain and agony, but am hopeful for a better future.
This past Saturday, something very scary happened. Now I want to add that I do have EXTREME anxiety/panic issues, and am currently taking medication for it. On Saturday, I noticed my heart was beating very strangely. My wife, who is a Paramedic, ran me by her station to run an EKG on me and discovered that I was throwing an arrhythmia (she called it 'Couplets'). From that moment on, I started shaking, crying, trembling...panicking! I thought I was GOING to die. Her coworker used words like "he has a second degree heart block, he needs to go to the ER NOW"; I had no idea what any of this meant. My wife reassured me it was something fixable, not to fret, and remain calm. The entire time in the ER, I could not stop shaking out of fear and adrenaline - I was praying to myself and I felt "Hopeless" in a sense. I was NOT ready to die. All I kept thinking about was my family, my wife and our baby boy who is due to be born in a couple of weeks, and how I have let God down with my sin and disobedience.
After a few hours of sheer panic, I finally started to calm down as most of my test results started coming back normal. At this point, I SOBBED. I have never felt such an intense fear of death in my life, and I feel like my faith has been shaken to my core. My wife re-assured me that God says 365 times in the bible to "Not be Afraid", yet I can listen to that and still feel utterly terrified of death.
A few weeks ago, our pastor had mentioned that you can tell someone is saved by the Life that they live. They will have a NOTICEABLE change...I thought to myself about this and realized that I had accepted Christ many years ago, but I don't really know if there was a discernible change?

I guess...how will you know when your heart is completely and utterly filled with the Love of Jesus, that not even Death can scare you? Does it mean that because of feeling I had Saturday, I am not saved?

 

[Joseph G]

Hey Everyone!

I wanted to reach out to the community on here as something has been deeply weighing on my heart and mind. This past Thursday (February 15th) was my 29th birthday - I had a tonsillectomy. I had been ill since Christmas Eve of 2023 with recurring strep throat and 3 rounds of antibiotics. Now, that should all be gone! I am on day 5 of recovery in quite a bit of pain and agony, but am hopeful for a better future.
This past Saturday, something very scary happened. Now I want to add that I do have EXTREME anxiety/panic issues, and am currently taking medication for it. On Saturday, I noticed my heart was beating very strangely. My wife, who is a Paramedic, ran me by her station to run an EKG on me and discovered that I was throwing an arrhythmia (she called it 'Couplets'). From that moment on, I started shaking, crying, trembling...panicking! I thought I was GOING to die. Her coworker used words like "he has a second degree heart block, he needs to go to the ER NOW"; I had no idea what any of this meant. My wife reassured me it was something fixable, not to fret, and remain calm. The entire time in the ER, I could not stop shaking out of fear and adrenaline - I was praying to myself and I felt "Hopeless" in a sense. I was NOT ready to die. All I kept thinking about was my family, my wife and our baby boy who is due to be born in a couple of weeks, and how I have let God down with my sin and disobedience.
After a few hours of sheer panic, I finally started to calm down as most of my test results started coming back normal. At this point, I SOBBED. I have never felt such an intense fear of death in my life, and I feel like my faith has been shaken to my core. My wife re-assured me that God says 365 times in the bible to "Not be Afraid", yet I can listen to that and still feel utterly terrified of death.
A few weeks ago, our pastor had mentioned that you can tell someone is saved by the Life that they live. They will have a NOTICEABLE change...I thought to myself about this and realized that I had accepted Christ many years ago, but I don't really know if there was a discernible change?

I guess...how will you know when your heart is completely and utterly filled with the Love of Jesus, that not even Death can scare you? Does it mean that because of feeling I had Saturday, I am not saved?

All I can offer is that you are in good company. Consider the Apostle Paul:

2 Corinthians 9:8-9 NIV

"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."

Paul didn't condemn himself for struggling with anxiety, so why should we? But even though he feared death, he didn't abandon God's promise to raise him from the dead.

Yes, Jesus says not to be anxious. But He also says that HE is the Author and Finisher of our faith. Conquering fears is a process. Give God the time to do likewise in you, and yourself the grace to endure the process without doubting His promise of salvation.

If you need assurance, just ask Him. I've learned He doesn't run out of patience by being asked yet again. Just expect that He will do so in His time and in His way. When He does, you'll realize that He is the same voice who spoke to you when you were first saved:

Romans 8:16-17 NIV

"The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we also may share in His glory."

 

[eleos1954]

Hey Everyone!

I wanted to reach out to the community on here as something has been deeply weighing on my heart and mind. This past Thursday (February 15th) was my 29th birthday - I had a tonsillectomy. I had been ill since Christmas Eve of 2023 with recurring strep throat and 3 rounds of antibiotics. Now, that should all be gone! I am on day 5 of recovery in quite a bit of pain and agony, but am hopeful for a better future.
This past Saturday, something very scary happened. Now I want to add that I do have EXTREME anxiety/panic issues, and am currently taking medication for it. On Saturday, I noticed my heart was beating very strangely. My wife, who is a Paramedic, ran me by her station to run an EKG on me and discovered that I was throwing an arrhythmia (she called it 'Couplets'). From that moment on, I started shaking, crying, trembling...panicking! I thought I was GOING to die. Her coworker used words like "he has a second degree heart block, he needs to go to the ER NOW"; I had no idea what any of this meant. My wife reassured me it was something fixable, not to fret, and remain calm. The entire time in the ER, I could not stop shaking out of fear and adrenaline - I was praying to myself and I felt "Hopeless" in a sense. I was NOT ready to die. All I kept thinking about was my family, my wife and our baby boy who is due to be born in a couple of weeks, and how I have let God down with my sin and disobedience.
After a few hours of sheer panic, I finally started to calm down as most of my test results started coming back normal. At this point, I SOBBED. I have never felt such an intense fear of death in my life, and I feel like my faith has been shaken to my core. My wife re-assured me that God says 365 times in the bible to "Not be Afraid", yet I can listen to that and still feel utterly terrified of death.
A few weeks ago, our pastor had mentioned that you can tell someone is saved by the Life that they live. They will have a NOTICEABLE change...I thought to myself about this and realized that I had accepted Christ many years ago, but I don't really know if there was a discernible change?

I guess...how will you know when your heart is completely and utterly filled with the Love of Jesus, that not even Death can scare you? Does it mean that because of feeling I had Saturday, I am not saved?

Nobody knows who is or isn't saved ... only Jesus .... besides that ... if a person is still alive they still have the opportunity to be saved. Also people have secret things and only God knows them.

We are to pattern our lives after Jesus ... and yeah ... we mess up here and there ... but by the grace of God he will forgive us.

There is nothing to fear about death ... just keep walking with Jesus daily.

Because you had this feeling doesn't mean you aren't saved ... all of us are so deprived it's hard for us to believe God would want any of us to be saved .... when you ask for forgiveness you get to begin anew .... sometimes it takes time to overcome our sinful behaviors .... but with the help of the Holy Spirit we can .... just keep pressing towards the mark.

Philippians 3:14​

14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

One should be progressing away from sin ... not towards it.

I am certainly in no way a perfect person .... but ... by looking back I am a much better person today than I used to be ... still lots of room for improvement .... always will be.

 

[com7fy8]

"I have let God down with my sin and disobedience."

We all have.

In our weakness for pleasures and controlling people . . . trying to . . . we can't even control our own selves to get all the things we want; because >

"God resists the proud" (in James 4:6, and in 1 Peter 5:5).

Meanwhile, our weakness for sin is also weakness for pain.

So, it is impossible without God. We are wise to trust in Jesus . . . and to submit to Him totally, knowing there is no hope for what we can get our own selves to do.

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:29)