Faith Differences

[subtlecollision]

Hi,

Any advice on how to navigate faith differences in marriage? I am a Calvinist and my husband is wanting to convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. We are currently going to different churches, and it's been hard.

 

[Shane R]

Go with him a couple of times to see the service. Ask him why he wants to convert. For some, Orthodoxy represents a radical phase of their Christian experience (the same can be said of Presbyterian Calvinism). Sometimes the church becomes a lifetime love and sometimes it is a waypoint, a needful stop on the way to somewhere else. Whatever the case, listen to him if he opens up about why this is important.

 

[ripple the car]

Hi,

Any advice on how to navigate faith differences in marriage? I am a Calvinist and my husband is wanting to convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. We are currently going to different churches, and it's been hard.

Give each other respect, and space. Don’t try to argue with each other. Come together to pray whenever you can; love each other.

My husband is a Southern Baptist. We try to agree on the things we still have in common; and don’t bring up any differences. Just keep taking care of each other. Don’t argue faith.

 

[Bumble Bee]

The biggest thing I can say is pray for your spouse. I have found that when my husband and I disagree on things, it helps me to pray that the Lord will turn our hearts toward each other and reveal His will to both of us. If I were in your shoes, I would ask the questions about why he wants to convert, visit his church, and pray that the Lord will bring both of you to unity.

 

[subtlecollision]

Go with him a couple of times to see the service. Ask him why he wants to convert. For some, Orthodoxy represents a radical phase of their Christian experience (the same can be said of Presbyterian Calvinism). Sometimes the church becomes a lifetime love and sometimes it is a waypoint, a needful stop on the way to somewhere else. Whatever the case, listen to him if he opens up about why this is important.

Yeah I have talked to him a lot about it. It's important to him because of apostolic succession and he believes it's the original church.

I went with him to an inquirer's class. I personally feel like it may be a sin for me to attend this church as I feel that praying to saints is wrong.

 

[WolfGate]

Yeah I have talked to him a lot about it. It's important to him because of apostolic succession and he believes it's the original church.

I went with him to an inquirer's class. I personally feel like it may be a sin for me to attend this church as I feel that praying to saints is wrong.

Keep talking to him and focus on the essentials of the faith you both agree with. From what you've described, I think both of your churches agree on the message of the gospel. Everything else is just theology - important but not determining if you are a follower of Christ or not.

If you agree with that framework that you both agree about the gospel, then discuss differences with the intent to understand, not argue. You don't have to agree with someone's conclusions to respect and accept how they come to those conclusions. Sometimes your questions and feedback may prompt him to look at things more closely and the same may happen for you. For example (and I'm not orthodox so if someone is and I am saying something incorrect, please correct me) my understanding is that orthodox would say they are not "praying to saints". Instead they are asking a saints to pray for them, much like you might ask your friends to do so. There are some challenges with that as well as you have to believe that the saints can hear you, but perhaps there are areas like that where a deeper understanding of his churches beliefs will make it easier for you to accept his direction.

 

[seeking.IAM]

My wife of 48 years and I have different faith practices. Religion is not an issue that divides us because we respect the right of the other to believe and practice as they wish. It's pretty effortless, really, as long as both allow the other to follow their own path without criticism. Do I regret sometimes that we don't go to church together? Yes. Nonetheless, I am free to worship where and as I wish and she is free to do likewise. Like all couples, we have our disagreements sometimes, but they never have to do with religious belief or practice.

 

[labloomer]

Instead of focusing on the difference that exists, focus on what you got in common. E.g salvation because you believe in the Son of God, forgiveness of sins, joy of salvation, thankfulness, gifts from God because of your faith, Prayer life and the need to serve, praise and worship God.

There is no need to focus on the difference, all Christian can know that the denomination we have faith in will not save us from our sins, rather we all need the blood of Christ for salvation. So focus on the things to have in common, celebrate faith life as much as possible together when you can, and love, respect, and care, for each other because of your faith and love in Jesus Christ.

 

[subtlecollision]

Instead of focusing on the difference that exists, focus on what you got in common. E.g salvation because you believe in the Son of God, forgiveness of sins, joy of salvation, thankfulness, gifts from God because of your faith, Prayer life and the need to serve, praise and worship God.

There is no need to focus on the difference, all Christian can know that the denomination we have faith in will not save us from our sins, rather we all need the blood of Christ for salvation. So focus on the things to have in common, celebrate faith life as much as possible together when you can, and love, respect, and care, for each other because of your faith and love in Jesus Christ.

Okay, do you think it is okay for spouses to attend different churches?

 

[subtlecollision]

Keep talking to him and focus on the essentials of the faith you both agree with. From what you've described, I think both of your churches agree on the message of the gospel. Everything else is just theology - important but not determining if you are a follower of Christ or not.

If you agree with that framework that you both agree about the gospel, then discuss differences with the intent to understand, not argue. You don't have to agree with someone's conclusions to respect and accept how they come to those conclusions. Sometimes your questions and feedback may prompt him to look at things more closely and the same may happen for you. For example (and I'm not orthodox so if someone is and I am saying something incorrect, please correct me) my understanding is that orthodox would say they are not "praying to saints". Instead they are asking a saints to pray for them, much like you might ask your friends to do so. There are some challenges with that as well as you have to believe that the saints can hear you, but perhaps there are areas like that where a deeper understanding of his churches beliefs will make it easier for you to accept his direction.

Yeah I get that what they believe is that they're asking saints to pray to them like asking a friend or aunt or someone. But to me there are bigger issues there--

-It seems like a pagan practice. From the church history I've studied, it seems like "prayers to saints" were added to Christian doctrine to appeal to pagans. Correct me if I'm wrong.
-Jesus never taught us to "pray" to saints.
-Who knows if these saints are even listening to us? This makes it seems like a mystical practice that shouldn't be done.

 

[labloomer]

Okay, do you think it is okay for spouses to attend different churches?

Yes i do think that this is possible, if couples respect each other in their faith life, then is is possible. True love does not dishonour another, and is not self seeking, Paul tells us.

It is about sharing/celebrating the faith experience with each other, rather than attacking each other with it.

Peace.

 

[Red Gold]

Hi,

Any advice on how to navigate faith differences in marriage? I am a Calvinist and my husband is wanting to convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. We are currently going to different churches, and it's been hard.

How are things noẁ?
Better - I hope!

 

[subtlecollision]

How are things noẁ?
Better - I hope!

I am hoping to become more humble and less argumentative when it comes to theology.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I am hoping to become more humble and less argumentative when it comes to theology.

Hi Subtlecollision,

Being more humble is helpful for all of us, of course, but along with that application of wisdom is the act of being open to applying Hermeneutical studies (i.e. those studies which reflect upon how your own viewpoint interacts with historical details involved with the multi-faceted development of Christian thought and biblical interpretation through the centuries and from one local to another).

Maybe in some way you're already doing this, but being that I don't know you and I don't know all that you've already read and reflected upon, I'll simply affirm that studying our common historical strands of Christian Theology from different angles can sometimes enable us to look more deeply at how different interpretations or innovations of thought have formed and have taken on new theological codifications within various branches of the Christian Body of believers.

In all of this I hope for the best for you and your spouse as you both continue to think about, learn and live your faith within your marriage.

Be blessed!

 

[subtlecollision]

Hi Subtlecollision,

Being more humble is helpful for all of us, of course, but along with that application of wisdom is the act of being open to applying Hermeneutical studies (i.e. those studies which reflect upon how your own viewpoint interacts with historical details involved with the multi-faceted development of Christian thought and biblical interpretation through the centuries and from one local to another).

Maybe in some way you're already doing this, but being that I don't know you and I don't know all that you've already read and reflected upon, I'll simply affirm that studying our common historical strands of Christian Theology from different angles can sometimes enable us to look more deeply at how different interpretations or innovations of thought have formed and have taken on new theological codifications within various branches of the Christian Body of believers.

In all of this I hope for the best for you and your spouse as you both continue to think about, learn and live your faith within your marriage.

Be blessed!

Thank you!

 

[Kylie]

Hi,

Any advice on how to navigate faith differences in marriage? I am a Calvinist and my husband is wanting to convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. We are currently going to different churches, and it's been hard.

I'm an atheist and my husband is a Christian. We've made it work by accepting that we each have beliefs that the other doesn't have, but we never try to convert the other. A fundamental human right is the right to hold whatever religious belief we see fit, without being forced to have a particular belief or not.

 

[Swan7]

If faith in Christ is important to you, go to Him for your cares and worries. Let Jesus be your guide.

As Christians, we are to invite others into the Kingdom. Christ opened the gates where a certain group of pharisees stubbornly stood, neither inviting in or going through.
Pray for your husband and pray for wisdom that you might know the things to say or do, according to His will.