Any idea why I always feel uncomfortable keeping eye contact with people? Something wrong with me? How can I eliminate this problem?
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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Eye contact
- Thread starter eh7
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TrustingmyLord
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Sometimes I have this problem too, though not all the time. I do not know why sometimes it is more difficult.
What is it? Are we intimidaed? Ashamed? I am not sure. Its something to think about.
What is it? Are we intimidaed? Ashamed? I am not sure. Its something to think about.
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Surrender2Win
Look to the LORD and His strength...
I have this issue as well.
I don't know if I have any answers for you, but for me, I think if I can deal with some of my own issues, like having more confidence and dealing with shame then perhaps I'd be able to look 'em in the eyes more often.
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its could be because 'dogs*' use eye staring to establish dominance and enforce their will on others they see as weeker than themselves. you are obviously not 'dogs'. well thats what i tell myself when i flinch from the gaze of a pretty lass.
* i dont mean the animals, its a discription of a behavioural personality type
* i dont mean the animals, its a discription of a behavioural personality type
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Dasdream
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yeah when i look at someone in the eye it may be because I am angry or reallt concentrated in what their saying and to get them nervous lol. I hardly ever look peopel in the eye....well except girls lol, I give them the look an....well nevermind
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Treasurer
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LOL, I have learned to hold the gaze with the best of them.
Boy was that a tough one too, lol. Not real sure what it was. Perhaps it was not being self confident in who I am. And being fearful of those who wanted to look at me. Almost as if when they look at you, they are looking into you, and I didnt want anyone to see me.
The Lord can be very good at building up your self confidence, because greater is He who is in you than he that is in the world.
And the fear, well I just needed the Lord to reveal himself to me; for scriptures tell us this: We need not fear man who can only hurt the body, but fear the Lord who can take both body and soul. Our trust and hope is not in man- (Psalms 56:4, I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?)
Have you read the scripture that says: Your eye is a lamp for your body. A pure eye lets sunshine into your soul. But an evil eye shuts out the light and plunges you into darkness. If the light you think you have is really darkness, how deep that darkness will be! Matthew 6:22-23
In this scripture it lets us see what the eye is, it is a window into us. And perhaps there are times we just dont want anyone to see us. Our weaknesses, our fear, our shame, our pain...ect....
We just have to realize Jesus took all of this for us. He covers those things for us. So take strength in that.
(This is my perspective on it, from my life. Take whatever you can from it).
God Bless
Boy was that a tough one too, lol. Not real sure what it was. Perhaps it was not being self confident in who I am. And being fearful of those who wanted to look at me. Almost as if when they look at you, they are looking into you, and I didnt want anyone to see me.
The Lord can be very good at building up your self confidence, because greater is He who is in you than he that is in the world.
And the fear, well I just needed the Lord to reveal himself to me; for scriptures tell us this: We need not fear man who can only hurt the body, but fear the Lord who can take both body and soul. Our trust and hope is not in man- (Psalms 56:4, I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?)
Have you read the scripture that says: Your eye is a lamp for your body. A pure eye lets sunshine into your soul. But an evil eye shuts out the light and plunges you into darkness. If the light you think you have is really darkness, how deep that darkness will be! Matthew 6:22-23
In this scripture it lets us see what the eye is, it is a window into us. And perhaps there are times we just dont want anyone to see us. Our weaknesses, our fear, our shame, our pain...ect....
We just have to realize Jesus took all of this for us. He covers those things for us. So take strength in that.
(This is my perspective on it, from my life. Take whatever you can from it).
God Bless
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Krysstian
Veteran
I wouldnt look others in the eye because I was afraid of what they might see. Eyes are powerful to me. They have so much depth. Now I realize that looking into someone eyes is a wonderful way to really test their spirit...I LOOK AND I LOOK HARD lol...people just smile at me after awhile because lol I will sometimes make goofy faces...lol...God revealed a lot to me by just looking into someone else. I know who is lying to me, who is attracted to me, and etc. I use to be very uncomfortable looking people in the eye but now its my way of showing people that I am sincere in what I say. I had some people who wouldn't dare look at me as if they are convicted. When I meet people like that I happen to see right through them and I know their heart is not right. Like a patient of mines, he will not look me in the eye but when he do..that man is filled with hate, anger, and bitterness...I love him to death though.
When I wouldn't look into anyone eyes...I wouldn't even look into my own. One day I stood in front of a mirror in look into my own eyes lol...As weird as that sounds...it actually benefit me
When I wouldn't look into anyone eyes...I wouldn't even look into my own. One day I stood in front of a mirror in look into my own eyes lol...As weird as that sounds...it actually benefit me
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Elijah2
No weapons formed against me will prosper.
Hi Eh7,
Well your eyes are the "windows to your soul".
Whenever I am talking to anyone, I always look them into their eyes.
Their eyes bascially tell me where they are are.
Eyes will flutter, will turn left to right, up and down, roll backwards inside of their eyesocket and all you see is the white of their eyes. These symptoms that avoid eye contact need to be dealt with through inner healing prayer and counselling.
If you cannot look another in the eye, then there are things in your life still not dealt with.
Yes, we can all say that "shyness", "insecurity", "self-esteem", etc., etc., can cause this problem.
Therefore, is this is then you have a problem, and it needs to be dealt with through confession, repentance and forgiveness. See your healing and deliverance ministry of your church.
Love in Christ
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- Mar 1, 2006
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I, too, have had self-esteem issues. However, for some years now I've reminded myself that it doesn't matter what I've done or not, or who I am or not. Jesus now defines who I am and gives me my worth. I'm a child of the King, joint-heir with Christ. That's who I am. It really has helped me in times of distress.
Rachel
Rachel
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silentpoet
Contributor
There are lots of things that can help you with confidence. I have lots of books. It depends on where you want to start. The Power of Positive Thinking is a very good starting point based on biblical principles. Jack Canfield has several good books out.
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"If you cannot look another in the eye, then there are things in your life still not dealt with."
lol and there was me thinking i turn away just coz they have caught me spying on them. in all seriousness i think you may well be correct
lol and there was me thinking i turn away just coz they have caught me spying on them. in all seriousness i think you may well be correct
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J
Jenster
Guest
Sometimes I don't look people in the eye because I am not sure I want to establish contact with them. Id' rather be in my own little world. Sometimes it's because I am afraid they will judge me or see a weakness if I look directly at them. Also, some people try to invade boundaries, and NOT looking at them is a way to keep them away.
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Not intimidated. No ashamed. Maybe no confident? When I keep eye contact with people, I feel the closeness with the other party, and it makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes.
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I am in almost the same situation as you. I keep eye contact when I am in a serious matter sometimes, or when the other party makes me feel comfortable enough to keep eye contact with him. But this happens only very few times. I am shy with girls, so I seldom keep eye contact with them....
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How can you differentiate people who are lying and people who are just not comfortable with looking into the eyes?
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Sometimes, I think positive thinking is just a way to trick your mind to think that everything is all right even though, it might not be.
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anonymousAdviser
Regular Member
Personally, I often do not give a lot of eye contact because I have "penetrating eyes", they are bright and intense. I have noticed with other such people... that they do the same.
I also find it is easy for me to know what others are thinking or feeling. I can tell by reading their expressions.
It makes me feel like I am putting a searchlight on them, and I can often feel this makes people feel uncomfortable.
Another case is when someone is ashamed to look at people... either because they are simply contrite or shy or perhaps because they feel that they are dirty or unworthy in some other way.
In general, I think it can further be rude to stare at people and such, and generally communication involves a great deal more then simply eye contact.
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silentpoet
Contributor
it is if all you do is think. But there are actions and choices you can make that can change your world. If you just sit and think things are all right, you will fail. But if you try to see the good in each situation and try to see ways to make good things happen you are indeed working on some good things that I believe are of God. Positive thinking is a way of viewing faith and putting it into action in your mind. Some people have the gift of faith, some of us have to work very hard at it.
Positive thinking is not easy. I tend towards depression myself and tend to have lower self esteem. But I have a made a choice and a decision to work to having the more abundant life Jesus promised. And working on how I view things is one way of doing that.
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The best book for all that which will help you if you read it is Bible and that is the truth. Sometimes it can be hard, but I myself am going trough some things right now and even tough is hard to read I know it will benefit me because Bible works miracles I tell you. It shows you who you really are and helps you fight the enemy and give you confidence in who you really are.
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