Extreme need for attention

[bendslikeawillow]

Am I alone in this? I feel like I can never get enough attention. Especially sexual attention :o I've cheated in the past, and my wonderful husband forgave me, and we are working really hard on our marriage. It's better than it has ever been, but I am terrified that the first time someone gives me a little attention, I will cheat again. I feel vulnerable. I always feel empty, and even though I know nothing will actually fill that hole I feel inside, I keep trying to stuff things into it

 

[Je84]

Hey, I'm new on this forum. I'm a Christian diagnosed with BPD as well, I just found this and came on here because I had a major slip up with what you're describing this weekend and am really in a mess

Just remember God forgives you, Sorry that this isn't particularly helpful advice but know that this isn't your fault and I sympathise with this situation!! I'm really battling with the need for attention you've described and the affect it's having on my walk with God and massive guilt with being in ministry and stuff. I hope it helps you to know that you're not alone and I'll pray for you.

 

[madison1101]

I can totally relate to those feelings. My attention seeking behavior ruined my marriage and made my life miserable. A good psychotherapist, one with a lot of patience and experience with BPD. A good discipleship relationship with a mature Christian to guide you through scripture will also help you.

Trish

 

[punksushi]

read the book of 1 corintheans. One verse says something like "liars, cheaters, fornicators and adulterers will find no place in god's kingdom".

Does this scare you? this scares the crap out of me. if it doesn't cause you to repent then its time to definitely consider if you've been truly saved or not.

 

[madison1101]

read the book of 1 corintheans. One verse says something like "liars, cheaters, fornicators and adulterers will find no place in god's kingdom".

Does this scare you? this scares the crap out of me. if it doesn't cause you to repent then its time to definitely consider if you've been truly saved or not.

Have you ever had a mental illness or BPD? Your responses show no empathy, or understanding of personality disorders.

 

[punksushi]

Have you ever had a mental illness or BPD? Your responses show no empathy, or understanding of personality disorders.

Yes i am diagnosed bpd, and thanks for your opinion I certainly respect it and you have every right to feel that way.

 

[madison1101]

Telling a mentally ill person they might not be saved because of their behavior in their illness is just plain wrong.

 

[punksushi]

Telling a mentally ill person they might not be saved because of their behavior in their illness is just plain wrong.

oh is that what it sounded like? im really sorry im a terrible wordsmith. If I meant that i would be the world's biggest hypocrite. I meant like. . . we have to try really hard to make our eternal father first. we lose this body and mind when we die, and are ressurected again in christ with our glorified bodies, without any imperfections.

For me its really important to remember as a bpd, that ill never reach this point where i wake up and love myself everyday like "normal people. so why focus on the illness when jesus already died for me and saved me? jesus lead by example, and as a human being i will always fail at that so for me its very important to focus on questing my salvation to make sure i stay in christs love. I hope this made more sense

 

[madison1101]

oh is that what it sounded like? im really sorry im a terrible wordsmith. If I meant that i would be the world's biggest hypocrite. I meant like. . . we have to try really hard to make our eternal father first. we lose this body and mind when we die, and are ressurected again in christ with our glorified bodies, without any imperfections.

For me its really important to remember as a bpd, that ill never reach this point where i wake up and love myself everyday like "normal people. so why focus on the illness when jesus already died for me and saved me? jesus lead by example, and as a human being i will always fail at that so for me its very important to focus on questing my salvation to make sure i stay in christs love. I hope this made more sense

Thank you for clearing that up.

I was blessed by a dear Christian friend who guided me in my walk with the Lord when my BPD behavior was at its worst. I was already in therapy, and AA, and not really getting better, except I was not drinking. I was acting out all over the place, ruining my marriage and my children's childhoods, and I would cry to my friend about how unloveable I was, and how much I did not deserve anyone's love or acceptance, much less the Lord's. She would assure me that her love was not going to stop, but more important, the Lord was not going to abandon me. She would quote scriptures that assured me what she was saying was true. I would confess everything to her, and she would repeatedly remind me that Christ knew all about that behavior when He stretched out His arms and was crucified on the cross.

Gradually I began to improve and put more and more time between episodes of acting out. After my husband left, there was a huge temptation to give up and quit on my recovery, but my friend gave me Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." That verse sustained me through the first two years of my divorce.

Thanks for clarifying.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[Joanne P]

What helps me manage all kinds of impulsivity issues, get through empty feelings, and also manage other challanges... is Matthew 14:27-29. When I feel tempted by something, I close my eyes and see Jesus with his hand reaching to me. The emotions of BPD can feel strong like the ocean waves... it can seem overwhelming and make you feel afraid of acting in ways you truly do not wish to. If you take your eyes off Christ, even for a moment, and focus on the fear, you begin to falter. Keep your eyes steady on him, unwavering. And even when Peter faltered, Jesus did not scold Him, and did not let him go...
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

And for the fact that Peter was the only one who actually went out to Jesus (the rest stayed in the boat)... then Peter was rewarded by being the first to reach Christ.

What matters is sincerely trying, like Peter.