exposing everything in heart

[letsbefriends]

the motives that i had when i was in church were that if i could get myself cleaned up, i would not be believing anymore. also, i woulc once again be friends with nonchristians so long as the temptation for that particular sin faded away and never came back. now let me get it clear that i was not hanging out with kids who did those things, in fact they never did and never knew what my sin was. all they ever saw was a pious, hardcore individual who is too "religious". so yeah i was self-centered, not christ-centered. i often found and still do find myself praying all kinds of prayers, doing devotionals, striving to be perfect. the feeling after those prayers doesn't seem real, so obviously it must not have been genuine. it doesn't seem heartfelt.
i often prided myself on being too self-righteous, pharasical. if a christian sinned in any way, i would wince and make a face at them, indicating i would never talk like them or anything like that even though i may seem like them sometimes.
i feel like i dont understand the concept of a personal relationship with God. like do i have to pray everyday? what if my heart doesn't feel like it? How does God feel about this? don't you think this sounds like i'm using God? that's the feeling i often get.

sometimes i feel like i'm more true to myself if i was a nonbeliever, if i didn't pray. i feel like if i don't pray i am less critical of otehrs and less self-righteous of others and it doesn't really turn others off. back then i felt like i should just pray prayers if i sin and that was it.

i just hate these motives that i have.

to sum it up: 1) get cleaned up spiritually which i doubt i will COMPLETELY be cleaned up 2) then stop praying altogether 3) i think this is selfish and this is not what a christian should do.

i used to have a preachy attitude towards others. i would tell them what the bible said. i even showed a nonchristian what a bible is and he saw it. i told him hwo i interpreted the bible literally. he called me really religious and he often found contradictions in my behavior and my words. like i would just be judgmental and contradict myself with words and he woudl call me out and then i would just justify it with some excuse.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

that's the 'confession of past facts'; you've confessed that before God and man, but have you received your forgiveness by faith yet?

once you have, you need to confess what God says about you. now try your hand at a 'confession of faith' - what does God say about you as a reborn believer?

(hint - it will sound like you are talking about Jesus, because as a reborn believer, that's how God sees you)

 

[letsbefriends]

that's the 'confession of past facts'; you've confessed that before God and man, but have you received your forgiveness by faith yet?

once you have, you need to confess what God says about you. now try your hand at a 'confession of faith' - what does God say about you as a reborn believer?

(hint - it will sound like you are talking about Jesus, because as a reborn believer, that's how God sees you)

He states that the old self is dead and that i should live according to his word. that's the best i can put it. sometimes when i'm praying it doesn't feel right. it doesn't. i feel like am i being genuine?

i just realized that i am trying to force a relationship with God, that i want to be like the believers who are spiritually mature even though i'm still like a child that's growing. i can't wait to climb up there and this is how i feel.

 

[letsbefriends]

i used to arrogantly boast to those nonchristians who used to make me feel ashamed. like i am a child of God and that i am precious, with the intention of saying oh you have no right to mistreat me.that was when i was 12.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

the pharisees strove to 'live according to his word' and yet missed knowing God. on the other hand, if you mean' follow the leading of the Holy Spirit as confirmed by scripture' then you're right on.

Joh 14:1 KJV
(1) Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.

Joh 14:27 KJV
(27) Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Jesus tells us to 'not let our hearts be troubled' - this means we are to control our feelings; not be controlled by them. which has more credibility with you, your feelings or God's word?

 

[letsbefriends]

the pharisees strove to 'live according to his word' and yet missed knowing God. on the other hand, if you mean' follow the leading of the Holy Spirit as confirmed by scripture' then you're right on.

Joh 14:1 KJV
(1) Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.

Joh 14:27 KJV
(27) Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Jesus tells us to 'not let our hearts be troubled' - this means we are to control our feelings; not be controlled by them. which has more credibility with you, your feelings or God's word?

what do you mean by credibility? sorry, i didn't catch that. i think my feelings are what motivates me to do things. like if i feel guilt in my heart, i'll just keep confessing the sin over and over until that feeling just dissipates.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

what do you mean by credibility? sorry, i didn't catch that. i think my feelings are what motivates me to do things. like if i feel guilt in my heart, i'll just keep confessing the sin over and over until that feeling just dissipates.

Rom 8:5-6 KJV
(5) For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
(6) For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

feelings are of the flesh; if you set your mind on your feelings then you are carnally minded.

if you set your mind on God's word, your feelings of guilt will eventually yield to what He has said about you as a reborn believer - that you are forgiven - and this will bring you peace - this is to be spiritually minded.

if you dwell on what you have done that's bad, you won't be able to dwell on what He has done for you that's good.

if you dwell on what He has done for you that's good, you won't be able to dwell on what you have done that's bad.

the battle is in your mind; it's about what you choose to think on. and your feeling will follow what you think on - your mistakes or His forgiveness; your ignorance or His wisdom; your powerlessness or His powerfulness.

you must choose to either focus on you, or focus on Him.

 

[letsbefriends]

Rom 8:5-6 KJV
(5) For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
(6) For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

feelings are of the flesh; if you set your mind on your feelings then you are carnally minded.

if you set your mind on God's word, your feelings of guilt will eventually yield to what He has said about you as a reborn believer - that you are forgiven - and this will bring you peace - this is to be spiritually minded.

if you dwell on what you have done that's bad, you won't be able to dwell on what He has done for you that's good.

if you dwell on what He has done for you that's good, you won't be able to dwell on what you have done that's bad.

the battle is in your mind; it's about what you choose to think on. and your feeling will follow what you think on - your mistakes or His forgiveness; your ignorance or His wisdom; your powerlessness or His powerfulness.

you must choose to either focus on you, or focus on Him.

how do i do that? like if the feelings come in, do i just ask God to take them away from me or do i just let it slide? what if i don't do something about it? clearly i dont want to feed into it.

 

[letsbefriends]

you know before i came onto this site for the first time, i would pray a bunch of prayers online. i would look them up and pray them so that i can steer clear of temptation and it worked so i just kept doing that. of course i tried to be good, i turned it into a religiion. i didn't feel spiritually filled. i was trying to work my own salvation on purpose without the holy spirit's prompting. i would do that on the days after i had sinned in a particular manner and when i sinned again, i stopped feeling disillusioned. truth is, i was approaching it the wrong way. i'd be like what if i didn't pray the right way, what if those aren't the right words, what if i said one wrong word because sometimes words don't always come out correctly, what if i accidentally said this? then i told myself what if you keep quiet and stop worrying

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

stop thinking and talking about you and start thinking and talking about Him, and you will shift from being carnally minded to being spiritually minded - and life and peace will overtake you.

Jesus said '<YOU> let not your heart be troubled'; He didn't say 'plead with God to make your bad feelings go away and eventually He might'. you will have no success at asking God to do what He has told you to do.

 

[letsbefriends]

stop thinking and talking about you and start thinking and talking about Him, and you will shift from being carnally minded to being spiritually minded - and life and peace will overtake you.

Jesus said '<YOU> let not your heart be troubled'; He didn't say 'plead with God to make your bad feelings go away and eventually He might'. you will have no success at asking God to do what He has told you to do.

i sure don't memorize scripture that well. in fact, i can't memorize anything. if i do, it'd be a fraction of it. the reference...not so much.

 

[letsbefriends]

sometimes i feel like i am not faithful enough if i don't pray enough. i feel like i have to pray a certain number of prayers in order to feel or be "christian". that's the problem with me. when i'm bored, i do that a lot. i have nothing better to do so why not pray?

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

sometimes i feel like i am not faithful enough if i don't pray enough. i feel like i have to pray a certain number of prayers in order to feel or be "christian". that's the problem with me. when i'm bored, i do that a lot. i have nothing better to do so why not pray?

none of us qualify for anything from God; we all have to receive His goodness as free gifts. when you're bored, read your Bible - focus on Romans and Ephesians. if the KJV is confusing, try an online version such as the Good News Bible, or the Bible in Base English. or listen to a good sermon - there are plenty for free download on the internet (i think i recommended some didn't i?).

when you pray, use your own words, and thank Him for helping you to grow spiritually. God wants you to know Him more than you want to know Him (the same is true for everyone); you can focus on Him - it may not be easy at first, but you can choose what you think about. God has faith in you; that's why He's drawing you to Him - always agree with Him!

 

[letsbefriends]

none of us qualify for anything from God; we all have to receive His goodness as free gifts. when you're bored, read your Bible - focus on Romans and Ephesians. if the KJV is confusing, try an online version such as the Good News Bible, or the Bible in Base English. or listen to a good sermon - there are plenty for free download on the internet (i think i recommended some didn't i?).

when you pray, use your own words, and thank Him for helping you to grow spiritually. God wants you to know Him more than you want to know Him (the same is true for everyone); you can focus on Him - it may not be easy at first, but you can choose what you think about. God has faith in you; that's why He's drawing you to Him - always agree with Him!

thanks.

 

[seeingeyes]

sometimes i feel like i am not faithful enough if i don't pray enough. i feel like i have to pray a certain number of prayers in order to feel or be "christian". that's the problem with me. when i'm bored, i do that a lot. i have nothing better to do so why not pray?

Perhaps you need to find a more genuine expression of your faith. As you said, you are a child who is growing, so these prayers that you have been praying are, perhaps, not 'you'.

Or maybe isolation is an issue. Corporate prayer feels very different than private prayer (at least to me). I'm no 'prayer warrior' myself, but I love praying with my sisters who have that gift. It's like they just reach straight up to heaven and tug on God's pant leg.

 

[letsbefriends]

Perhaps you need to find a more genuine expression of your faith. As you said, you are a child who is growing, so these prayers that you have been praying are, perhaps, not 'you'.

Or maybe isolation is an issue. Corporate prayer feels very different than private prayer (at least to me). I'm no 'prayer warrior' myself, but I love praying with my sisters who have that gift. It's like they just reach straight up to heaven and tug on God's pant leg.

i prefer praying alone. sometimes i just don't know if i have snuffed out the holy spirit since i have committed some major sins. praying in groups just make it harder for me because it makes me feel anxious.

 

[letsbefriends]

stop thinking and talking about you and start thinking and talking about Him, and you will shift from being carnally minded to being spiritually minded - and life and peace will overtake you.

Jesus said '<YOU> let not your heart be troubled'; He didn't say 'plead with God to make your bad feelings go away and eventually He might'. you will have no success at asking God to do what He has told you to do.

Here I am being impatient and trying to earn my salvation again. I’m Impatient because I hope to possess all the Christian virtues in just a split second so that I can manifest the love and be able to show it to others. It’s almost as if I’m working for myself. I don’t like it. It’s not for God. I often don’t praise him unless I have succeeded doing something.
As I was pondering last night about the motives of my prayers, I was able to identify couples of them that weren’t so Christ-centered. Most of the time I pray the way I think and feel, not the way Christ would have me pray. I do think that I have this obsessive need of praying and if I don’t pray then I will fall into temptation of some sort and won’t be able to get out of it.

 

[letsbefriends]

none of us qualify for anything from God; we all have to receive His goodness as free gifts. when you're bored, read your Bible - focus on Romans and Ephesians. if the KJV is confusing, try an online version such as the Good News Bible, or the Bible in Base English. or listen to a good sermon - there are plenty for free download on the internet (i think i recommended some didn't i?).

when you pray, use your own words, and thank Him for helping you to grow spiritually. God wants you to know Him more than you want to know Him (the same is true for everyone); you can focus on Him - it may not be easy at first, but you can choose what you think about. God has faith in you; that's why He's drawing you to Him - always agree with Him!

simply put: all i want is a place granted in heaven. otherwise, i would not have tried so hard. every time i sinned, it's like out you go from heaven.

as for friendships, i want to find people who are not gossipy, lying, or cross the line. i am careful when it comes to selecting friends.

i am so confused at the moment. i do not know how to go about this. i'm pretty sure that only those who are truly passionate about their faith, who are downtrodden, who fear hell, who hates being a part of this messed up world, are followers of christ. i unforunately do not bear most of the hallmarks being mentioned here and i would hate to. i just want to be a believer and have the right friends--believers or nonbelievers. they don't make a difference to me. as long as they don't drink, party, smoke, cuss, or ridicule christ or my faith, then i am okay. also, if they have much common with me, then that would be even better.

 

[letsbefriends]

none of us qualify for anything from God; we all have to receive His goodness as free gifts. when you're bored, read your Bible - focus on Romans and Ephesians. if the KJV is confusing, try an online version such as the Good News Bible, or the Bible in Base English. or listen to a good sermon - there are plenty for free download on the internet (i think i recommended some didn't i?).

when you pray, use your own words, and thank Him for helping you to grow spiritually. God wants you to know Him more than you want to know Him (the same is true for everyone); you can focus on Him - it may not be easy at first, but you can choose what you think about. God has faith in you; that's why He's drawing you to Him - always agree with Him!

The more I pray, the sadder I get. I want to spill out tears, but unfortunately something is holding me back. This is more painful than when you feel like dripping down tears and yet you cant. I just want to say to God that if you can cure me, I can be motivated to serve more. I am just not one to jump through hurdles. I feel like if I pray like a bunch of times a day and then all of a sudden just pray one the following day I&#8217;m liable to get caught in temptation. Why is this? Do I need to pray the same amount in order to have the same effect?

also if you haven't already checked my messages, i would like you to. i have a lot more. the more i pray, the more underlying motives i was able to identify.

i feel like i've ruined the lives of those who had prayed for me, like if i'm a inappropriate content viewer, does that mean the person who intercedes for me will end up like that? then again, that's not biblical and we are advised to intercede for others.

 

[Ark100]

the motives that i had when i was in church were that if i could get myself cleaned up, i would not be believing anymore. also, i woulc once again be friends with nonchristians so long as the temptation for that particular sin faded away and never came back.

God is not mocked, friend. You can't out-smart God. No one can. I bet God is watching you thinking "Little does this little child of mine knows". Where human's 'smartness' ends is where God's began.

i feel like i dont understand the concept of a personal relationship with God. like do i have to pray everyday? what if my heart doesn't feel like it? How does God feel about this? don't you think this sounds like i'm using God? that's the feeling i often get.

Its good that you are honest with yourself and with others (at least on here) and its best if you are honest with God as well, while you are communing with Him. Out of being honest is where God will change you to make you into who He designed you to be. With your current mentality about God, and the ways of things, you cannot have a special/personal relationship with Him.

Pharisees dont have a special relationship with God. Their relationship with God is based on the book. and in obeying what the book says. They are more focused on getting whats in the book right than actually knowing the author of the book. Until that changes, they could never know who God really is or what He is really about.

sometimes i feel like i'm more true to myself if i was a nonbeliever, if i didn't pray. i feel like if i don't pray i am less critical of otehrs and less self-righteous of others and it doesn't really turn others off. back then i felt like i should just pray prayers if i sin and that was it.

i just hate these motives that i have.

I believe you need The Holy Spirit. As said before, no one can draw themself unto God unless He draws them. No one can force their way to God unless He comes in and draws them. I will strongly advice you to pray for God to infill you with The Holy Spirit.

to sum it up: 1) get cleaned up spiritually which i doubt i will COMPLETELY be cleaned up 2) then stop praying altogether 3) i think this is selfish and this is not what a christian should do.

1)Only God cleans us up. The Blood of Jesus Christ is what cleansed us of our sins and what purifies us and makes us righteous before The Father. Now unless you have given your life to Jesus Christ, and asked Him to come in and live, and His blood covers you, it will always be a try-hard thing for you. Everyone gets tempted, but Holy Spirit helps us. He is the Spirit of Truth & Grace we have been given and we have to co-operate with Him as well. He always wants to help us.

2) Why would you want to stop praying altogether once you get cleaned up? You just want to use God and when you get peace of mind, desert Him again? thats not very nice. Do you ever picture/imagine what Jesus went through on that cross for you and I? Do you think He deserves mockery? After all the pain, suffering, sorrow, shame that He went through. Will that be what you want to repay Him back with? By taking from Him and then deserting Him?

You should re-think that and make amends. God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows he will reap. If you want to be for God, then be for Him all the way, if you dont want to, dont bother at all. You don't play games with God Almighty.

i used to have a preachy attitude towards others. i would tell them what the bible said. i even showed a nonchristian what a bible is and he saw it. i told him hwo i interpreted the bible literally. he called me really religious and he often found contradictions in my behavior and my words. like i would just be judgmental and contradict myself with words and he woudl call me out and then i would just justify it with some excuse.

Keep praying and keep reading the word of God. There is nothing God can't do. He will remould and rebuild you if you trust in Him and keep praying.