Excessive avoidance

[SirAnthony]

I've begun avoiding things due to my OCD, and I think I'm going too far now with my avoidance. Could I get some ideas about what to do?

I spike whenever I see something that seems to have an element of sexuality. I am easily offended by the suggestive clothing that most women wear nowadays, and I quickly look away from such people when I'm in public (e.g., shopping and working). To distract myself enough to get the image out of my mind, I inflict pain on myself by biting my tongue or scratching my arm. Surprisingly that seems to work but obviously I'd like to stop that habit.

I've stopped watching pretty much any TV for fear of seeing images that might cause any arousal. My real fear is that (without being too graphic) I might experience a "physical response" to these images (if you know what I mean). It's torture.

The only solution I have so far is to pray about it and have a pint of Foster's to try to relax. I tried a variety of antidepressant meds but they make me nauseous and I'm not willing to try them again. If you all have any words of encouragement, that would be excellent.

Cheers

 

[shelovesChrist]

hey sir

we know the things we most fear and how bad they make us spike . we could try to limit ourselves to expose, but we come to find that either way, we'll find ourselves faced with the monster that seems so scary . id just pray for strength and faith, and ask the Lord to help you deal with the very thing that's bothering you. know that whatever the battle the Lord is bigger and become He has overcame, we will . the victory is there , we know , so try not to fret and get discouraged when you stumble during battle . we we slip and fall sometimes, but we will get back up and keep pursuing . im praying for you and hope this helped truly.

 

[SirAnthony]

hey sir

we know the things we most fear and how bad they make us spike . we could try to limit ourselves to expose, but we come to find that either way, we'll find ourselves faced with the monster that seems so scary . id just pray for strength and faith, and ask the Lord to help you deal with the very thing that's bothering you. know that whatever the battle the Lord is bigger and become He has overcame, we will . the victory is there , we know , so try not to fret and get discouraged when you stumble during battle . we we slip and fall sometimes, but we will get back up and keep pursuing . im praying for you and hope this helped truly.

Thanks, that did help. I suppose that running away from situations is not going to help -- the "monster" is me, and I've got to deal with the spikes as they come. Soli Deo Gloria.

 

[jennifer_savannah]

Hello, SirAnthony!

I understand a lot of what you're going through. I've been a chronic sufferer from OCD for years (which manifested itself in childhood with ticks and counting/tapping; now it's leaked over into my thought life). I've had to deal with the "avoidance" issue. At one point I was so afraid to read the Bible because I thought that I was sure to have an evil (blasphemous) thought. The Lord dealt quickly with me on this, though, since I'm a Born-again Christian--every one of His children needs to read His Word continuously in order for our minds to be renewed!

You stated the following:

I've begun avoiding things due to my OCD, and I think I'm going too far now with my avoidance. Could I get some ideas about what to do?

I spike whenever I see something that seems to have an element of sexuality. I am easily offended by the suggestive clothing that most women wear nowadays, and I quickly look away from such people when I'm in public (e.g., shopping and working). To distract myself enough to get the image out of my mind, I inflict pain on myself by biting my tongue or scratching my arm. Surprisingly that seems to work but obviously I'd like to stop that habit.

I've stopped watching pretty much any TV for fear of seeing images that might cause any arousal. My real fear is that (without being too graphic) I might experience a "physical response" to these images (if you know what I mean). It's torture.
​

I understand what it's like to be offended by displays of sexuality on television, in advertising, and when some folks just don't wear enough clothing to cover themselves. But, I see this as a fact of (or as a result of) being a Christian. Sexual indecency is sinful. Why would a Christian be watching anything that would cause him or her to be subject to temptation?? That's like setting a trap for your own soul! The Bible has a lot to say on this subject. Jesus stated:

"Matthew 5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:​

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
​

If we look on another person and lust (on purpose) after that person, we have sinned. So, if a person, a housewife for example, watches a soap opera wherein there are sex scenes and sex-related talk, even watching (partaking in) these things are sinful. More quotes:

"Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,"

"2 Peter 2:14 Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children:"
​

With OCD sufferers, we have an added dilemma! We can have thoughts sometimes that are not "on purpose," meaning that a sexually explicit thought just flashes across the screen of our minds without being provoked or invited there. Fear, as you mentioned, has a lot to do with it, too. If I fear that I'm going to have bad thoughts (of any kind), chances are I will experience those bad thoughts! Fear always leads to trouble!

So, how can we keep ourselves from experiencing fear in the first place? Find out what is truly bothering you. A lot of times I have "fits" of bad thoughts when the old OCD flares up, but it helps to "step back" and see what the trigger was! For instance, I said earlier that I fear having blasphemous thoughts about the Lord. Many times, after all the trouble of the thoughts have passed, I realize that I just had a question about something the Lord said or did. And the question was just to understand Him more--not to accuse Him of anything wrong (He never sinned, we all know that!). I was so afraid that I was accusing Him, that I tried to stop the questioning process... and it backfired on me in the form of the bad thoughts. God is not threatened by our wanting to understand His Word--in my case, by something the Lord said or did. Recall this quote:

"James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."
​

Ask God for wisdom! We don't need to push our questions and troubles out of our minds... we just need to ask God those questions and take our troubles to Him.

"1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."
​

As for fear?

"2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

"1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."
​

We are not supposed to allow this type of tormenting fear to control our lives!

"Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?"
​

But--there is also another kind of fear. A reverence and an utmost respect for God and His Word!

"2 Corinthians 7:1 Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."
​

You simply need to determine which fear you should be experiencing. These steps might help!

1. Get down to the real issue: are you afraid of sinning? of losing control?

2. Face up to the facts: You are a sinner in need of a Savior.

"Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

"Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
​

When you do sin, be quick to repent and get back on track with God!

"1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
​

3. Remove yourself from temptation: sometimes an attack of conscience can be mistaken for fear or worry. It's of utmost importance as a Christian to have a clear, guiltless conscience!

"Acts 24:16 And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void to offence toward God, and toward men."

"Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption."
​

4. Ask yourself questions: am I doing something that is wrong? The great thing about being a Christian is that we have the Holy Bible to tell us what is right and what is wrong. We also have the Holy Spirit living within us to teach us what is acceptable and what is not.

"1 John 2:27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him."
​

5. Stay in the Word: we must renew our minds daily! The world around us is full of temptation and deceit!

"Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
​

The enemy waits for a chance to "catch us" at a weak moment.

"1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:"
​

If we'll stay in the Word, whatever our weakness is--whatever is causing us to stumble--will be confronted and we will be reminded of what God says about it. When we meditate on the Word, whenever we need it the most in life (during those times of trial and suffering and temptation), it will be recalled for us!

"John 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you."
​

6. Stay constant in prayer: Pray to avoid temptation! It's as simple as that!

"Matthew 6:13a And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:"

"Mark 14:38 Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak."

"1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

"Revelation 3:10 Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth."
​

7. Surround yourself with the Truth: Along with reading the Word, listen to Christian music and watch Christian television (like TBN, The Trinity Broadcasting Network). Talk to yourself in times of distress!

"Ephesians 5:19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;"
​

8. Rejoice in the Lord: Praise the Lord for His presence because He is ALWAYS with you... ALWAYS! Even when you don't feel Him there, He's still there!

"Matthew 28:20b and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen."

"Hebrews 13:5b for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
​

And rejoice because the victory has already been won for us by Jesus at Calvary!

"1 Corinthians 15:57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."​

We are not weakings who have no authority over our weaknesses! We have been given the Name of Jesus to defend ourselves from the tricks of the devil.

"Ephesians 6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

"1 John 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith."
​

And finally:

9. Strengthen yourself in the Lord: Enough said!

"Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
​

Also, please please please be careful of what you "run to" when you are trying to avoid (escape) your trials! Running to alcohol is running away from God! Rather, run to God and let Him heal you. We are to be sober and to watch, remember?

"James 1:12 Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him."

"Matthew 10:22b but he that endureth to the end shall be saved."

​

Even though you and I (and countless other people--the number known only to God) suffer with OCD and the fears that come along with it, we still have to hold ourselves accountable like everyone else. But, the Good News is, when we fall short, Jesus picks up the slack!

"Psalms 145:14 The LORD upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down."

"2 Timothy 1:12 For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."
​

 

[jennifer_savannah]

Hello, SirAnthony!

I understand a lot of what you're going through. I've been a chronic sufferer from OCD for years (which manifested itself in childhood with ticks and counting/tapping; now it's leaked over into my thought life). I've had to deal with the "avoidance" issue. At one point I was so afraid to read the Bible because I thought that I was sure to have an evil (blasphemous) thought. The Lord dealt quickly with me on this, though, since I'm a Born-again Christian--every one of His children needs to read His Word continuously in order for our minds to be renewed!

You stated the following:

I've begun avoiding things due to my OCD, and I think I'm going too far now with my avoidance. Could I get some ideas about what to do?

I spike whenever I see something that seems to have an element of sexuality. I am easily offended by the suggestive clothing that most women wear nowadays, and I quickly look away from such people when I'm in public (e.g., shopping and working). To distract myself enough to get the image out of my mind, I inflict pain on myself by biting my tongue or scratching my arm. Surprisingly that seems to work but obviously I'd like to stop that habit.

I've stopped watching pretty much any TV for fear of seeing images that might cause any arousal. My real fear is that (without being too graphic) I might experience a "physical response" to these images (if you know what I mean). It's torture.
​

I understand what it's like to be offended by displays of sexuality on television, in advertising, and when some folks just don't wear enough clothing to cover themselves. But, I see this as a fact of (or as a result of) being a Christian. Sexual indecency is sinful. Why would a Christian be watching anything that would cause him or her to be subject to temptation?? That's like setting a trap for your own soul! The Bible has a lot to say on this subject. Jesus stated:

"Matthew 5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:​

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
​

If we look on another person and lust (on purpose) after that person, we have sinned. So, if a person, a housewife for example, watches a soap opera wherein there are sex scenes and sex-related talk, even watching (partaking in) these things are sinful. More quotes:

"Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,"

"2 Peter 2:14 Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children:"
​

With OCD sufferers, we have an added dilemma! We can have thoughts sometimes that are not "on purpose," meaning that a sexually explicit thought just flashes across the screen of our minds without being provoked or invited there. Fear, as you mentioned, has a lot to do with it, too. If I fear that I'm going to have bad thoughts (of any kind), chances are I will experience those bad thoughts! Fear always leads to trouble!

So, how can we keep ourselves from experiencing fear in the first place? Find out what is truly bothering you. A lot of times I have "fits" of bad thoughts when the old OCD flares up, but it helps to "step back" and see what the trigger was! For instance, I said earlier that I fear having blasphemous thoughts about the Lord. Many times, after all the trouble of the thoughts have passed, I realize that I just had a question about something the Lord said or did. And the question was just to understand Him more--not to accuse Him of anything wrong (He never sinned, we all know that!). I was so afraid that I was accusing Him, that I tried to stop the questioning process... and it backfired on me in the form of the bad thoughts. God is not threatened by our wanting to understand His Word--in my case, by something the Lord said or did. Recall this quote:

"James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."
​

Ask God for wisdom! We don't need to push our questions and troubles out of our minds... we just need to ask God those questions and take our troubles to Him.

"1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."
​

As for fear?

"2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

"1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."
​

We are not supposed to allow this type of tormenting fear to control our lives!

"Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?"
​

But--there is also another kind of fear. A reverence and an utmost respect for God and His Word!

"2 Corinthians 7:1 Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."
​

You simply need to determine which fear you should be experiencing. These steps might help!

1. Get down to the real issue: are you afraid of sinning? of losing control?

2. Face up to the facts: You are a sinner in need of a Savior.

"Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

"Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
​

When you do sin, be quick to repent and get back on track with God!

"1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
​

3. Remove yourself from temptation: sometimes an attack of conscience can be mistaken for fear or worry. It's of utmost importance as a Christian to have a clear, guiltless conscience!

"Acts 24:16 And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void to offence toward God, and toward men."

"Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption."
​

4. Ask yourself questions: am I doing something that is wrong? The great thing about being a Christian is that we have the Holy Bible to tell us what is right and what is wrong. We also have the Holy Spirit living within us to teach us what is acceptable and what is not.

"1 John 2:27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him."
​

5. Stay in the Word: we must renew our minds daily! The world around us is full of temptation and deceit!

"Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
​

The enemy waits for a chance to "catch us" at a weak moment.

"1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:"
​

If we'll stay in the Word, whatever our weakness is--whatever is causing us to stumble--will be confronted and we will be reminded of what God says about it. When we meditate on the Word, whenever we need it the most in life (during those times of trial and suffering and temptation), it will be recalled for us!

"John 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you."
​

6. Stay constant in prayer: Pray to avoid temptation! It's as simple as that!

"Matthew 6:13a And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:"

"Mark 14:38 Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak."

"1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

"Revelation 3:10 Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth."
​

7. Surround yourself with the Truth: Along with reading the Word, listen to Christian music and watch Christian television (like TBN, The Trinity Broadcasting Network). Talk to yourself in times of distress!

"Ephesians 5:19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;"
​

8. Rejoice in the Lord: Praise the Lord for His presence because He is ALWAYS with you... ALWAYS! Even when you don't feel Him there, He's still there!

"Matthew 28:20b and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen."

"Hebrews 13:5b for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
​

And rejoice because the victory has already been won for us by Jesus at Calvary!

"1 Corinthians 15:57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."​

​

We are not weakings who have no authority over our weaknesses! We have been given the Name of Jesus to defend ourselves from the tricks of the devil.

"Ephesians 6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

"1 John 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith."
​

And finally:

9. Strengthen yourself in the Lord: Enough said!

"Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
​

Also, please please please be careful of what you "run to" when you are trying to avoid (escape) your trials! Running to alcohol is running away from God! Rather, run to God and let Him heal you. We are to be sober and to watch, remember?

"James 1:12 Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him."

"Matthew 10:22b but he that endureth to the end shall be saved."

​

Even though you and I (and countless other people--the number known only to God) suffer with OCD and the fears that come along with it, we still have to hold ourselves accountable like everyone else. But, the Good News is, when we fall short, Jesus picks up the slack!

"Psalms 145:14 The LORD upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down."

"2 Timothy 1:12 For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."
​

 

[jennifer_savannah]

Also, you said:

"the 'monster' is me"

I look at it differently! The monster is the OCD; you are a child of God. We need to be careful about how we see ourselves and what we say about ourselves:

"Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:"

"1 Corinthians 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?"

And if you do your part and rely solely on Him, claiming His Word and Promises for your life, He will lead you to victory over the true monster!

 

[SirAnthony]

1. Get down to the real issue: are you afraid of sinning? of losing control?

That's it exactly.

3. Remove yourself from temptation: sometimes an attack of conscience can be mistaken for fear or worry. It's of utmost importance as a Christian to have a clear, guiltless conscience!

True, but my OCD causes me to have an overly sensitive conscience. I always try to be holy, but the fact is that we (i.e. all humans, including Christians) are tainted by sin. I'm not so sure that it's possible to have a perfectly clear conscience.

 

[SirAnthony]

Also, you said:

"the 'monster' is me"

I look at it differently! The monster is the OCD; you are a child of God.

I agree that OCD is the real problem. When I said that, I think my Calvinism was showing a bit.

 

[shelovesChrist]

Sir,

the Spirit just put something on me , because I was thinking about what you said about being the monster . just as we are in the world , but not of it . these thoughts are in us , but not of us . and that goes along with what i was posting yesterday . as Paul says we are the children of day , and of light , and darkness is not of us, for God is love and not evil .

& jennifer , that post truly encouraged me . im grateful the Lord is using you , truly . praying for you as well.

 

[jennifer_savannah]

True, but my OCD causes me to have an overly sensitive conscience. I always try to be holy, but the fact is that we (i.e. all humans, including Christians) are tainted by sin. I'm not so sure that it's possible to have a perfectly clear conscience.

I also understand this aspect of OCD. No matter how hard you try to please the Lord, we still feel as though everything (every little thing) we do is wrong and sinful. I'm experiencing some of that today.

But, with that said... we need to stop having a "sin conscience." This comes along with having read the Word, knowing (even if you have to rehearse it in your mind) what is right and wrong for each situation you face. This requires actual work on your part in order to experience a break through! But, if we have to struggle a little more than others with this problem of conscience, it will not be in vain.

"1 Peter 2:19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully."

The only weapon that we truly have against a sin conscience is faith!

"Romans 14:23b for whatsoever is not of faith is sin."

You and I need faith to do even the smallest little thing. We have a sin conscience. So, instead, let's have a faith conscience. This is where you NEED to have the Word in your heart and mind. Like a fish has to have water to survive, a Christian won't survive long without the Word. The Word is the instruction about how to live out our lives.

If you are truly serving God, then you can do away with guilty thoughts and feelings. But, this could easily change if you are doing something that you absolutely, 100% know is wrong. I'm not talking about anything amoral (like brushing your teeth), I'm talking about doing something that is blatantly sinning against God or another person (which is still sinning against God). You said earlier that you can't watch anything that is sexually explicit. Well, I kind of feel like this is a huge "DUH" moment since we aren't supposed to be watching anything that is sexually explicit (refer back to all the Bible verses I posted about this in my earlier response).

And, it's not far off-base to think that we as OCDers can sometimes "use" OCD-based confusion as an excuse to get by with something... to do something that isn't pleasing in God's sight. But, that's where prayer comes in. If we're open to God in prayer, He'll help us in whatever weakness we are experiencing. And we can rest assured that the Holy Spirit will convict us about something that is wrong. We need to know the difference between the Spirit convicting us and our guilty conscience. We need to know what is rational and what is irrational. And this comes from knowing ourselves.

One time I was having thoughts that were very, very bad (they were blasphemous). I was crying my eyes out and was upset, but I had this feeling of doubt as though I was making up the emotion of being truly upset... like I was just doing this in order to make God think that I was sorry when I wasn't (of course, rationally, we know that God knows everything and that He can't be deceived). So, I happened to see myself in front of a mirror and it was only then that I could tell that I was truly feeling sad and upset and worried about the thoughts. My eyes were bloodshot and I had a horrible look of worry all over my face. I believe that the Lord wanted me to see this so that I would stop doubting myself in this way.

I, now, back-track when I start to have bad thoughts. I find out what my true motive was (i.e., if I just read something in the Bible and just had a question about it). Since much for me is based on fear, I go back to what triggered the bad thoughts and find out what my fear was. Then, when I realize what I'm afraid of I can deal head-on with that fear. I pray about it and apply the Word to it (whichever Word applies to whatever I'm fearing at that moment). And I go back to this Word:

"2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Truly, the Truth shall set you free! ("John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.")

So, my advice would be to take the time to get to know what your fears and hang-ups are. Write them down and then write down the Bible verses that correspond to that fear or weakness.

There is a reason why you are obsessing about sex. I forgot to check before I responded if you are married or not. If not, pray for a wife (just don't expect one to show up over night, of course; the Lord will answer you with a Word). If you are married, how is your sex life? (Please don't answer this particular question to us. The answer is for you to pray about with the Lord.) Were you sexually abused as a child/minor or were you involved in anything sexually explicit in the past (like being exposed to pornography)? Were you taught by someone who drilled it into you that sex is sinful? (We know that God created sex to take place between a man and his wife--in this context, sex is not sinful. "Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.") These are all important questions to consider. Anything that is not directly (and effectively) dealt with will always come back to you... like a boomerang! And even when you start dealing with it, it may take a while for the issue to get fully resolved. Again, use the Word as a tool to fight these issues!

And about Calvinism: we need to be careful about applying any doctrine that is not directly the Word, but is only based on the Word (teaching, if you will). Now, I'm not putting Calvinism down. I'm just a Biblical fundamentalist. If it's not in the Bible, then it's not Biblical.

The Gospel message is as plain as it can be. Recall these verses:

"2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."

"John 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life."

"John 6:47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life."

Those who do and will perish are the ones who do not repent and who do not receive Christ as their Lord and Savior. Recall:

"John 3:36b and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him."

Recall what the Bible says about doctrine:

"Ephesians 4:14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;"

"Mark 7:7 Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men."

"Romans 16:17 Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them."

"Titus 3:9 But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain."

There won't be denominations in Heaven, at least! We'll all be together as one in the One New Man.

"Ephesians 2:15 Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace;"

Even though you have OCD, you can still cling to God's Word and to His Promises. And trust me, once you have better developed your prayer life, you will understand the comfort and assurance of relying on the Scriptures.

 

[jennifer_savannah]

& jennifer , that post truly encouraged me . im grateful the Lord is using you , truly . praying for you as well.

shelovesChrist,

Thank you so much for your prayers and for the encouragement that I get from all of your posts! We need to comfort one another with our own testimonies. And trust me, I wouldn't give anyone any advice that I haven't taken myself. Since I can't afford health insurance and meds, I've had to really trust God and pray. Without anyone else to talk to, life has been very hard. I've had people treat me differently--even in the church I attend--because of my OCD and other mental problems (I have a tendency to always look overconcerned and sometimes I have a hard time smiling or showing facial expressions in public). Even with all of these pressures and troubles, I still attend church and serve the Lord. I'm so thankful now that I did not give up--even when I thought that I could not go on--because the Lord always has grace that is sufficient for every (EVERY) situation!

"2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

I've been there so I understand just about everything that all of the posters on this forum are going through. Thank you again! And I'm praying for you, too!

​

 

[shelovesChrist]

Even with all of these pressures and troubles, I still attend church and serve the Lord. I'm so thankful now that I did not give up--even when I thought that I could not go on--because the Lord always has grace that is sufficient for every (EVERY) situation!

AMEN . So true, I heard Mitzi once say on hear, even in the depths of hell will I still praise Him. He is so good and His power is so amazing, look how He has been able to keep us through it all . Sleepless nights, misunderstandings, confusion, doubt, the very things that are known to hinder one's spiritual walk and we're pressing, im so grateful for His grace and love and mercy and everything =] & i thank you for all your encouragement, i love how you refer to the scripture and encourage us , sharing your testimony and stressing the importance of faith and trust in the Lord. must be hard for the member of your church to treat you that way, but know that the Lord is the greatest friend you can ever have. Praying for you ,

 

[Tonyy2]

Hey hope you guys dont mind me bringing this thread back. But im dealing with alot of avoidance right now. I see that reading the bible sometimes causes alot of anxiety. I feel like i avoid it and eventually i give into my guilt and read but then i end up finding so much comfort. Everyday its the same battle. The word is very imortant to know so my avoidace of it is rediclous. Any comments?

 

[SirAnthony]

Hey hope you guys dont mind me bringing this thread back. But im dealing with alot of avoidance right now. I see that reading the bible sometimes causes alot of anxiety. I feel like i avoid it and eventually i give into my guilt and read but then i end up finding so much comfort. Everyday its the same battle. The word is very imortant to know so my avoidace of it is rediclous. Any comments?

No problem. Yeah, reading the Bible used to trigger anxiety with me too, but over time those feelings pretty much disappeared. Here are a few thoughts that might help:

1. Try not to focus on yourself and your feelings -- instead, look at it from God's perspective. Reading Scripture is something that He wants you to do, so that you can learn about Him. If that's your motivation, there's absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

2. If you're feeling anxious because you're not understanding a particular verse perfectly, I just want to assure you that God doesn't demand that. Some verses are just harder to understand...that's why people write commentaries. Take your time when you come across a difficult passage, and maybe think about it during the day, asking the Holy Spirit for illumination.

3. You used the word "battle" in your question. It might be a good idea to define what you're fighting against. Not only are you fighting against your anxiety, but also you're fighting against darkness and ignorance. That's a major reason that I read the Bible -- so that I won't be ignorant of what God wants of me. When you look at it from a perspective of "light vs dark," you might find it easier to soothe your anxiety.

Just a few thoughts off the top of my head...hope it helps!

 

[OCDS]

Hello, I suffered greatly from OCD, and had many similar fears. You need to see a therapist who will practice exposure therapy with you. Try to look for a cognitive behavioral therapist. Look uip EXPOSURE THERAPY on wikipedia.
Keep God in your heart, and good luck! Avoidances can become VERY problematic. Be careful.

 

[pkhaney]

You have a type of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and exposure and response therapy would work great in your case. Find a specialist that does this and within a few months you will find complete release of this issue. another option is to purchase some books on OCD and sexuality there are many out there that also explain the therapy. Amazon has a bunch of them cheap.