ex trying to make me jealous

[Spinderella]

Hi,

It's been a while and things do get better. Three years separated from Ex.
Just wondering why he seems to be constantly trying to make me jealous. It's obvious to me that he doesn't want me..it doesn't make sense. It's so obvious to me what he's doing and so very annoying...yes he is very immature.

It makes me sad that he still wants to hurt me; I am the mother of his two young children. Now, if I were dating (which I am not, and have not), I would not tell him...because first of all it's none of his business, second I wouldn't want to potentially hurt him.

Honestly, I think I'm more bothered by the fact that he would like to hurt me. He has already done enough in that department, but still wants to twist the knife some more.

I fact, several years ago it got so bad with him harrassing me about his love interest, that I sarcastically asked him if he would like me to stalk him and his suppossed girlfriend. He shut up finally, and had a smug look.

Several days later the police were at my door! They heard that I had made threats to harm his love interest (who they assured me was not interested in him).

So my question is...why would someone do this? I really can't fiugre it out. And by the way he is 45 years old, not 16.

Thanks for reading.

 

[ripple the car]

He sounds deeply disturbed, mean-spirited, and immature. There is no reason for him to keep bothering you, as far as I can see.

It sounds like you have been a patient and long-suffering wife to this man, who does not want to let go. Which is weird, because for him to make such efforts to drive you away, one would think he'd be ok with finally being out of your life.

How is he still getting in touch with you?

 

[Spinderella]

Thanks for the response. We share two young children. That's how we are still in contact. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have anything to do with him.

My friends and family think I am a fool to put up with him. But I have to consider the kids. I try to be polite and respectful for their sake.

 

[McScribe]

It's good that you're doing that for the sake of the kids. First, let me give you some advice if you don't mind: watch what you say. If he's immature, and it sounds like it, he'll put a bad spin on what you say. Imagine you ARE talking to a sixteen year old, avoid using innuendo and anything that could be misinterpreted. Try to have an email backup for really important conversations--even maybe take some free legal counsel advice about this. It sounds like he IS harassing you.

Sometimes people try to make themselves look better than they are when you split up. They exaggerate things they don't like about you or that they disagree with in order to perhaps assuage their guilt or something.

In the meantime praying for peace of mind for you.

 

[BlueJay83]

Well, I don't know what to say besides "just stay away from him"

sure, he needs to see the kids.. but you don't need to talk to him or entertain all this.
I would be leaving him at the door and keep the chit-chat about the weather.

Being separated, theres no reason you need to put up with this.

I hope that helps a little, sorry to hear about all this.

 

[Hosannainthehighest]

As long as you personalise it, you will be affected.
His words and behaviour are not about you but about his own lack of self worth, and the need to prove himself worthy... to himself more than likely?

 

[manuel75]

Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces. marriage is also three meals a day, sharing the workload and remembering to carry out the trash.