Hi, I'm struggling with my beliefs lately and I was hoping to find some stories of those who left Christianity and why they left.
In a way you can say that I halfway left, considering that the context of your situation is about going a different path than the people in your social circles. I left many traditional teachings of it behind in exchange for non-traditional interpretations (at least non-traditional according to my social circles) to the point where I’m probably a Heretic to believers that I know, and still a deluded believer to non-believers lol. I didn’t just pick & choose which interpretations to side with based on personal preference of what feels nicer, I had to do away with any interpretations that caused me cognitive dissonance. I’m a hodgepodge and I probably fit nowhere if someone were to start interrogating my beliefs.
What made you decide to leave?
Do you have a new religion or set of spiritual beliefs? If you feel like sharing what are they?
Maybe I’m more of a philosophical theist “With several Biblical concepts and events that are agreeable with me” than an actual believer, I’m not positive nor do I let it bother me. The thing about me is emotional apathy, for the most part it all just feels like a cool puzzle to be solved instead of something that I pour my heart into. So according to a lot of believers I would fit that mold of “It takes more than intellectual belief to be a chid of God.” I find historical Jesus very convincing but it seems to not change my life one bit at all. So that’s another way in which I can say that I halfway left (and maybe some would argue that without my emotions behind it I completely left), the emotional content for me checked out a long time ago.
I also dis Biblical studies now because I grew so tired of all things complicated, confusing, and disputed that were NOT mere concepts. By that I mean trying to figure out the finer points of historical/cultural contexts, disputed Hebrew/Greek terms, etc, those disputes started giving me a headache! For example, a purely conceptual argument without the burden of contextual ambiguity is such a breath of fresh air, for instance if I am presented with an argument between what Aquinas said vs what Hume said then the opposing arguments are simply laid out bare for me to analyze. There’s no headaches such as “Now was that really Hume’s argument? Are you sure that the word he used in that sentence really didn’t mean THIS instead of THAT? Are you sure that the document we have of Aquinas’ argument was accurately preserved?” Those interruptions got so annoying for me. I am happy that I have reached a lot of conclusions about those types of Biblical interpretations back when I was into all of that, so I don’t regret having that phase, but I don’t miss it, I lost the patience for it.
Have you found peace in your new spiritual identity?
Yes. One of my “Heretic” beliefs in the eyes of believers is that history teaches us over & over that God seems to not be too concerned with technical fine details, therefore I think that concerns in the Bible about “Belief” is heart based belief and not head based knowledge (although I’m not arguing that that part isn’t useful). I believe that God can reach you in any religion, it’s about concepts for me, does a person believe in the concept that Jesus was a person of spectacular character, and that one should hope to be more like Him?
I find it interesting that what history does show us over & over again is that the character of the life of Jesus HAS successfully locked itself into our various cultures extremely well! It’s interesting that those people who argue that Jesus was nothing more than a great person, they still understand the character of the life of Jesus (in order to argue against it), pretty clever of God IMO if the primary goal was that a maximum amount of people on Earth become familiar with the character of the historical man who was the essence of God made flesh (whether people even agree or disagree with that description of Him). There’s the famous cliche “I love your Christ but hate your Christians.”
How did your family and friends react to your leaving? What do you say to them about it and are they accepting of you? Have people turned their backs on you for leaving?
Do you ever struggle with your decision and want to go back?
Same answer to all of these questions for me, I might catch some casual disagreement but I’m not in circles where it causes tension or uneasiness. I can care less if I tell anyone that a belief has changed.
