Everything just sucks.

[BeatrixRose]

I struggled, really badly, last week with everything that had occured in the last few months. I won't go into too much detail, but within two months I lost my home (my father just walked out - no joke, like he did when I was 11 but this time I was 19 and living with just him and me and had been for so long. He was my everything, next to my fiance), my baby of eight weeks (I'll openly admit it was an abortion), and then my job. I went through everything without hurting myself - my mother cried and begged me not to. I used to self-harm really badly, until I had to go to hospital for each cut (and I have hundreds from my shoulders to wrists).

But last week I broke, and used something as stupid as a key. My fiance caught me and called me "Pathetic" and said I "Sickened him,". He says he was only angry because we'd gotten so far but it still hurts really bad.

But I have an intervew tomorrow at McDonalds and I've been reading bad stories online about how they've had bad things happen to them and the company is trying to get rid of them etc. And their scars aren't as bad as mine. Mine are awfully bad. When I worked at a Deli they told me I couldn't show my arms, because people were complaining and eventually I had to work in the back, in the kitchen, and then they got rid of me "because they didn't need any staff". But you know the truth.

I really don't want to go tomorrow and that sounds really pathetic. I don't think I could deal with the stares and feeling so paranoid.

What would you guys do?

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

My scars on my arms are quite obvious. I've been blessed that for the most part, people just either ask if I was a cutter, or they don't say anything.

Don't let what others think or act like stop you from taking back your life and moving forward. What they think isn't important.

 

[Criada]

I'm sorry - I know it can be a difficult issue.
Praying for you

 

[Tranquil Waterfall]

I just have to tell you that when I read that bit about your job, it really made me angry. Because nobody deserves that kind of treatment. It's so hard when something so painful as the struggle with SI is made even more of a painful struggle by the stares and actions of others. I am so sorry that this happened to you, you deserve better than that.

 

[chrisstavrous]

I struggled, really badly, last week with everything that had occured in the last few months. I won't go into too much detail, but within two months I lost my home (my father just walked out - no joke, like he did when I was 11 but this time I was 19 and living with just him and me and had been for so long. He was my everything, next to my fiance), my baby of eight weeks (I'll openly admit it was an abortion), and then my job. I went through everything without hurting myself - my mother cried and begged me not to. I used to self-harm really badly, until I had to go to hospital for each cut (and I have hundreds from my shoulders to wrists).

But last week I broke, and used something as stupid as a key. My fiance caught me and called me "Pathetic" and said I "Sickened him,". He says he was only angry because we'd gotten so far but it still hurts really bad.

But I have an intervew tomorrow at McDonalds and I've been reading bad stories online about how they've had bad things happen to them and the company is trying to get rid of them etc. And their scars aren't as bad as mine. Mine are awfully bad. When I worked at a Deli they told me I couldn't show my arms, because people were complaining and eventually I had to work in the back, in the kitchen, and then they got rid of me "because they didn't need any staff". But you know the truth.

I really don't want to go tomorrow and that sounds really pathetic. I don't think I could deal with the stares and feeling so paranoid.

What would you guys do?

Realize that your both victim and abuser and you have to stop playing both. Learn to resist both because one cant live without the other. Never give up giving up because thats how you will win.