everything is bothering me...

[Caty]

i feel like some of these thoughts are ocd while i also feel like some are not...i do this thing were i'll be okay and not worrying and i'll notice im not worrying so then i fear that the thoughs will come and then of course they do...or i'll try to cancel them out before they come by saying the opp. of them, but then i'll have a bad one during it, so i feel responsible for it. i've read things that say if you do not want God and you've had these thoughts that you've probably committed the unpardonable sin, so i question on wether or not i really want God or the thougths. i fear that im was just born to be lost and maybe make other Christians feel lucky that they are in a good position. i hate the way i am and i do not want to be this way anymore. im tired of living but i'm too afraid to die. i just feel like i can never know for sure that im forgiven and God loves me.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Caty, like I posted, right now I've felt like everything was bothering me too, (not in this area but the ones that plague me) but it really is OCD spiking. I know I keep repeating this, but what you are describing is classic OCD. With OCD, it's like we start doubting ourselves and questioning even things that are really obvious. The Bible states that God wants all men (and that includes young ladies!) to be saved. Just keep trying to treat the OCD. I really believe this is mental /psychological issue you're struggling with, not a spiritual one...though it feels like it is. Praying for you~

 

[Caty]

how can someone know for sure that it is ocd and not spiritual and what if it is spiritual what would i do then??

 

[kaykay9.0]

how can someone know for sure that it is ocd and not spiritual and what if it is spiritual what would i do then??

That's the tricky question we always have with OCD. When you have struggled with OCD all your life like I have, (and I'm pretty old:o) you kinda begin to recognize a pattern where even though you're afraid, you know also that it "feels" like OCD. It just has the earmarks of it.

Caty, I can just tell you that I recognize your symptoms with this "unpardonable sin" obsession because I've also been there. I further believe that people who come to God for forgiveness CAN still receive it.

 

[pjspara]

ocd is also called the doubting disease for good reason.... mine was and still is occasionally if im REALLY saved or not.... like did i REALLY accept HIS free gift, etc.... but we must believe that our FATHER knows us inside and out... so HE knows we want HIM desperately.... and we must remember that hell isnt for the ones who want HIM even if we are a confused bunch... hell is for the devil, his angels and all those who totally reject Jesus....
i KNOW how hard it is to believe when you cant FEEL it... i live in that world also...
BUT i HAVE to stand on HIS word NOT my feelings,, i canNOT trust myself.. i must trust HIM.. even when i feel the opposite

faith and doubt cAn and DO co exist the difference is in our choice.. and i CHOOSE to keep on following HIM thru allllll my doubts and believe that someday HE will deliver me from this ocd fog... in this life or the next.....HE LOVES YOU

HE REALLY DOES.... NO MATTER YOUR THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS


PJ

 

[Caty]

i just worry if i really want God, if i really hate the thoughts, if i really believe, if he really loves me, or can i really be saved. i feel like a terrible person and i don't want to be a terrible person if those things are from me.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

i just worry if i really want God, if i really hate the thoughts, if i really believe, if he really loves me, or can i really be saved. i feel like a terrible person and i don't want to be a terrible person if those things are from me.

Everyone can be saved and you and me already are! All humans are created by God for fellowship with Him, we were made to have a personal relationship with the Holy Trinity. Jesus died to allow all who would come to have access to the Holy God, He loves us all very much, and the only thing He asks us to do is to believe Him. To believe that He loves us and that He has saved us, that He doesn't condemn us...it is all in His book, He tells us that He loves us, so we must believe this and trust in that even if in the moments our conscience may tell us otherwise.

God is our Judge not our conscience and if we have asked Jesus into our hearts He expects us to receice all the promises that go along with salvation. You must stand strong in your faith in Christ no matter what doubts or condemnation come your way, you have been predestined to a everlasting hope throught the blood of our Lord Jesus and nothing can take that from you. Learn to rest in His love for you Caty, get into the Word and see for yourself what God really thinks about you. He loves all of us so much and there is nothing we can do to make Him love us anymore than He already does, we are justified by faith in Jesus and not by anything that we do, and the thoughts that we think especially ones that are not even from us have nothing to do with our eternal security in Christ, He is our hope, and that Hope does not hinge on whether we think the right thoughts all the time. We have a disorder, most of the time we can't help what pops into our heads, but God understands and He loves us all the same because we believe on His Son for salvation.

Christ has made us free "for you are all sons (daughters) of God through faith in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:26). He has freed us from sin and from the guilt of our sins, He is now our Everlasting Father. Caty you can talk to Him as your dad, the Spirit of His Son that is now in our hearts is the Spirit that allows us to cry out to Him, Abba, Father! He is the great creating God, the only God, and you must learn to focus more on His greatness and love for you, than the greatest of your problem. Which is greater your problem or our God? Of course our God and He will help you if you ask Him, ask Him to reveal His love to you, Jesus said He would manafest Himself to us, so ask Him to do so, He will!

Rely on Him Caty, you have been saved by grace through faith, now you must exercise that faith in our Lord to live victoriously for Him!

Jesus loves you! God bless!

 

[Caty]

ive never had faith...see i thought i was saved because i said the "sinners prayer" until all this ocd stuff happened and then i realized that all i had to do was believe and have faith but since im afraid that ive commited the unforgivable sin then now i feel like i can never have faith because, God will not save me now. & i really didnt understadn the whole faith thing when i asked Jesus to be my savior.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

ive never had faith...see i thought i was saved because i said the "sinners prayer" until all this ocd stuff happened and then i realized that all i had to do was believe and have faith but since im afraid that ive commited the unforgivable sin then now i feel like i can never have faith because, God will not save me now. & i really didnt understadn the whole faith thing when i asked Jesus to be my savior.

Caty salvation is more than just a one time transaction of the sinners prayer, yeah sure that gets us in the door, but you see salvation is a ongoing process, you must trust in Jesus that He has saved you, I'm not saying that if we have doubts sometimes that doesn't mean were not saved what I'm saying is that salvation is a lifestyle, salvation is a personal relationship with Jesus, it is reading His word as if the whole thing was written to you and every promise that is in it you apply to yourself.

It is worshiping God in song and praise and resting in His presence and allowing Him to show you what in your life needs change. It is confessing all your sins to Him, and taking every thought into obedience of Christ. It is surrendering to His call on your life, give it all to God, give your will, your mind, your body, your thoughts, everything over to Him.

You are saved Caty, but you see, you must trust in what He has accomplished on the cross for you. You must completely rest in His finished work, Jesus said that if we do not eat His flesh and drink His blood we have no part in Him. That means we must receive what He did on Calvary, we must receive His blood that was the propitiation for our sins, believe and receive that His blood is able to make you clean and pure and completely new. We must receive His body that was broken for us, by His stripes we are healed! His broken body is what sets us free and resurrected body is what allows us to live for Him in the newness of the life He has given us, His body was broken for you and me and all believers and we must receive what He did for us personally, that He died for your sins, that He fulfilled the righteous judgement of God on the cross for all of your sins.

We are justified by faith, and the grace of God is Christ that died in your place, now the only thing left to do is believe (have faith) in what He did for you, trust in His finished work, it is all complete/done all you must do is receive it and trust in it for you!

 

[Caty]

i just feeling like im too terrible and that i could never change, and im afraid that if I come to God and act like im saved he'll be offened cause im too terrible.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

i just feeling like im too terrible and that i could never change, and im afraid that if I come to God and act like im saved he'll be offened cause im too terrible.

Not at all Caty! You must understand that you must have faith in what Jesus has accomplished for you on the cross for your sins and for your sanctification, that is salvation, that you believe this in your heart. I know you know this and I understand that your OCD will try to get you to doubt that you are saved, but no matter what your OCD says to you, you need to say right back to it that the bible is the truth not your conscience or your OCD! tell yourself that this is what is really true about salvation, this is whats in the word, Jesus says believe on Me and you are saved and that's what I believe.

It will not be easy Caty, most of us have went through this same thing in a way, but you can overcome this only with the truth and power of the Word of God, in their Jesus says that you are saved and you must take His word on that, He will not lie, He can not lie. Put your trust in Him for your salvation, He will never forsake you and He is their with you right now, just stand on the word of God and know that you are saved because the Bible says you are:

"Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God."
(1 John 4:15)

"And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ..." (1 John 3:23)

That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)

"For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things."
(1 John 3:20)

You have nothing to worry about Caty you are safe in His hands, just learn to stand on these things, all the promises in the bible are there for you and you can stake your life on all of them!

Christ be with you,

Josh

 

[Caty]

thank you...i just worry that these things are from me...im afraid that since im kinda questioning why im going through this, that im meaning these thoughts. so if i did mean these thoughts some how or like deep down inside or soemthing coudl i be forgiven??

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

thank you...i just worry that these things are from me...im afraid that since im kinda questioning why im going through this, that im meaning these thoughts. so if i did mean these thoughts some how or like deep down inside or soemthing coudl i be forgiven??

You can always be forgiven, God only wants us to come to Him humbly and ask Him for it in the name of Jesus.

"Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more." (Romans 5:20)

As you can see in that verse, we are not under the law anymore, we are under God's grace through Jesus. God hates sin, but He loves us who have received His Sons Spirit at salvation and have trusted in Him for salvation, so if we sin His grace will abound all the more in our lives. He just wants us to come to Him in repentance and faith and He will forgive us of all that we have done.

Let me make one point here though because Paul also says this in Romans after that verse:

"What shall we say then? Shall we continue to sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?" (Romans 6:1,2) "For he who has died has been freed from sin" (6:7) "Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (6:11)

That is the attitude we all should have toward sin-dead to it! But the point I want you to see is that even if we do sin, even where sin abounds, Gods grace in Jesus our Lord abounds all the more. It is all there for the taking, ask and you shall receive, just know that when you come to God asking for forgiveness with a repentant heart that He will forgive you, and after you have asked for forgiveness let that be the end of it, do not dwell on it, there is no need for you to feel guilty about it, God has forgiven and no longer remembers it, so now you need to forgive yourself...the transaction is complete, God has forgiven you, now keep up your side of it and repent of that sin and move on.

He is our God, when we come to Him, He listens, He loves us and only wants the best for us, He wants us to be joyful, filled with the Holy Spirit, and at peace in our hearts because of the hope we have in Jesus. It is all in His word, God is not a mean, angry God, but a merciful and loving and gracious God, who longs to set us free from the sin that is in our lives.

You are forgiven Caty! And even if you sin you have an Advocate (Jesus) with the Father and He will always hear you and forgive you. Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more!

God is love!

SoS

 

[Caty]

thanks, im just so so so so tired of flipping back and forth, whenever i try to convince myself that God will forgive me i worry if im truly repentant and then when i realize that i might be truly repentant then i worry that God has shut me out and ive committed the unforgivable sin, hopefully one day this cycle will be over and i can be at peace w/God. i've been reading Romans some and its not scaring me. but when i read the condeming unforgivable sin scripture it scares me to death,a nd i feel like those pormises no longer apply to me. see my worry is that those promises of salvation only apply to certain people and when the unforgivable sin is committed then there is a way around those promises and they no longer apply to me. what about that hebrews scripture about people who cry out for mercy and God doesn't here them or the one about him laughing at sinners. that scares me.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

thanks, im just so so so so tired of flipping back and forth, whenever i try to convince myself that God will forgive me i worry if im truly repentant and then when i realize that i might be truly repentant then i worry that God has shut me out and ive committed the unforgivable sin, hopefully one day this cycle will be over and i can be at peace w/God. i've been reading Romans some and its not scaring me. but when i read the condeming unforgivable sin scripture it scares me to death,a nd i feel like those pormises no longer apply to me. see my worry is that those promises of salvation only apply to certain people and when the unforgivable sin is committed then there is a way around those promises and they no longer apply to me. what about that hebrews scripture about people who cry out for mercy and God doesn't here them or the one about him laughing at sinners. that scares me.

We have already discussed those scriptures many times before, so I will not rehash those things again, but you see Caty the disorder you have, like all of us, makes you doubt everything anyone can tell you about your safety in Jesus and His salvation, it will even get you to doubt scripture that proves your wrong as you can see, most of us here in the OCD forum have gone through this before and I'm sure all will tell you that no matter how much evidence you get, you will still continue to doubt.

So, the only thing you can do is to come to terms with your disorder and know that no matter how much evidence you get you will still doubt, but what you must learn is that these thoughts of condemnation will continue no matter how devoted you are to Christ and that you must learn to live with them and just believe in the fact that you are God's because you have accepted Jesus into your heart.

Meditate on the fact that you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Saviour and that you are not accepted by God on your performance in righteousness. Your behaviour, your sins, failures, past mistakes will never separate you from the love and forgiveness of Christ, you can turn to Him in the midst of your sin, even after finishing it and He will accept you as if you have never sinned. Your acceptance from God is based only on the righteousness of Christ that has been accounted to you. You now have a relationship with God based on the fact His Son died for all your sins past, present, and future. The cross of Jesus takes care of all your sins, the punishment He took on the cross took care of all of them! Praise God!

You need to come to this realization of the cross of Christ, and rest in this fact and even if you have to go around feeling guilty for the rest of your life (which you won't) you can still stand on His promises and you can know that you are safe in His care. Doubts and condemnation only come from the devil and not from God and you must come to realize this, God has accepted you and He loves you with an everlasting love and nothing can take that fact away. You must stir up the courage to trust what He says in His word is true and that you are saved because the bible says you are and not because what your thoughts and feelings may tell you.

Salvation is by grace through faith, not by feeling. You are safe in Him!

 

[Caty]

i know it doesn't really seem like it, but i am trying...im jsut havin a hard time. but see i don't think that i feel guilty and that kinda worries me (that maybe im not truly repentant), im just scared all of the time and worried im going to hell.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

i know it doesn't really seem like it, but i am trying...im jsut havin a hard time. but see i don't think that i feel guilty and that kinda worries me (that maybe im not truly repentant), im just scared all of the time and worried im going to hell.

You are not supposed to feel guilty anymore! You have asked Jesus into your heart and have received what He did for you on the cross, so why should you feel guilty? Rejoice in the fact that you are saved by the grace of God!

You are not going to hell, if you were to go to hell after receiving Jesus and believing on Him, than that would make the bible a lie, and that is unspeakable nonsense. The bible is the word of God and Jesus is God in the flesh, whatever He says is the truth, so if He says believe and be saved, than that is the truth and you have everlasting life!

I know you are having a hard time and I feel for you, I do, but what I am telling you is based on the word of God and it is the truth, you must get past these feelings of guilt for not having any guilt and believe what the bible says about you and the salvation that has been given to you.

I no its hard but God never said this race would be easy He just said pick up your cross and follow Him, and that is what we must do, follow Him, trust in Him, rest in His love. Your faith will get bigger the more you learn to trust in Him and not your feelings or thoughts.

 

[Caty]

okay ill try, see when im not doing anything my mind wonders and i worry so i try to watch tv or listen to music or something so i wont be thinking so much and then i feel bad,like im not worrying so i must not care. but i will try, it is very hard, because i feel like a terrible person...im trying to forget these feelings & such...

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

okay ill try, see when im not doing anything my mind wonders and i worry so i try to watch tv or listen to music or something so i wont be thinking so much and then i feel bad,like im not worrying so i must not care. but i will try, it is very hard, because i feel like a terrible person...im trying to forget these feelings & such...

That's the best thing you can do, forget them! Don't dwell on these feelings they don't matter, they are just what they seem to be feelings! They are not the truth of God's word.

You are not a terrible person, you are a daughter of the King! A precious child of God! And He loves you more than you could ever know.