First off, I am far too apologetic if I wrote this in the wrong category. Only I just discovered this forum a few minutes ago and don't know much about it.
It's just, just that I'm dealing with an issue that I have been bravely fighting against for far too many years to count. What I am talking about is my crippling depression and anxiety. Honestly, I can't take it anymore. It's too much to deal with. I try to stay strong, but I can't stay strong anymore.
I just don't understand how God can love me, yet watches me be miserable everyday. I don't understand how God can love me, yet can know that I hate myself more and more each day. I don't understand how God can love me, yet can allow me to want nothing more but to die.
I do love Him, but I don't even pray anymore because I don't see myself getting any better. So, I don't even know if I consider myself a Christian anymore. I do want to be a Christian more than anything, but I feel God hates me because He's not even proving to me that He loves me anymore. I feel I messed up immensely, but I can't remember what I did to hurt Him. And I feel super awful about it.
What I'm asking is... how can I repair my relationship with God? I want to have the strongest relationship with Him again and have Him save me from my deathly issues. How can I do this? Please and thank you!
It's just, just that I'm dealing with an issue that I have been bravely fighting against for far too many years to count. What I am talking about is my crippling depression and anxiety. Honestly, I can't take it anymore. It's too much to deal with. I try to stay strong, but I can't stay strong anymore.
I just don't understand how God can love me, yet watches me be miserable everyday. I don't understand how God can love me, yet can know that I hate myself more and more each day. I don't understand how God can love me, yet can allow me to want nothing more but to die.
I do love Him, but I don't even pray anymore because I don't see myself getting any better. So, I don't even know if I consider myself a Christian anymore. I do want to be a Christian more than anything, but I feel God hates me because He's not even proving to me that He loves me anymore. I feel I messed up immensely, but I can't remember what I did to hurt Him. And I feel super awful about it.
What I'm asking is... how can I repair my relationship with God? I want to have the strongest relationship with Him again and have Him save me from my deathly issues. How can I do this? Please and thank you!