Every thought turns negative

[dysert]

I've had depression for about 17 years now, so I consider myself pretty experienced with it (unfortunately). Nevertheless, it struck me again this morning how every thought I have turns negative quite quickly. For instance, I watched a video by Joni (Eareckson Tada) where she was telling the story of a lady who got paralyzed higher up than Joni is, and is stuck in bed on a ventilator for the rest of her life. Well, instead of thanking God that I'm healthy (compared to that) my first thought was that if that happened to me I'd want to die.

I hate how my thoughts so naturally turn negative no matter what. I can acknowledge the blessings in my life, but they never affect how I feel (which is down). How do others deal with this problem?

 

[FireDragon76]

It sounds like you are feeling bad about feeling bad, since you say you "hate" how your thoughts naturally turn negative. Thoughts turning negative is normal, since our brains are wired to be cautious, that's how our mind works.

 

[miss-a]

For me when that happens it can be a sign there is a need to address the physical aspects of depression through, rest, nutrition, medication, or all of the above. it can vary for each individual.

Also, I have found this info that I'll link to you very helpful. Here's the link: http://www.christianforums.com/t7824058/#post65677022

 

[dysert]

For me when that happens it can be a sign there is a need to address the physical aspects of depression through, rest, nutrition, medication, or all of the above. it can vary for each individual.

Also, I have found this info that I'll link to you very helpful. Here's the link: http://www.christianforums.com/t7824058/#post65677022

Rest: no good
Nutrition: no good
Medication: best that I've found

Thanks for the link. I'm eager to check it out.

 

[FlaviusAetius]

Well OP, I can at least tell you that you're not the only one who feels this way. I pretty much have to keep my depression to myself because all my family thinks in a positive manner. My mother works in a hospital and so I get to hear all the stories of young kids with cancer or teens paralyzed, ect. Like you said she looks at it as being grateful that we are healthy and all that.

However when I hear these things all I can think of is what a horrible existence it must be if you're completely paralyzed or if your child develops a fatal disease or is born handicapped. As awful as it sounds the most terrifying thing for me is if a future child of mine was born severely mentally [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. I look to parents raising children who are basically stuck in a wheel chair who can only speak through grunts and shrieks and honestly feel I couldn't love a child who was like that. Then it makes me feel that maybe I should just avoid ever having children.