I am currently reading Every Man's Battle. It's good, only some of it doesn't apply to me very well as it seems to be aimed at older, married men who are struggling. I'm 30 and unmarried. Are there are books dealing with sexual addiction other than this you all would recommend? I'm also going to be meeting with people, counselors, from my church. Just curious! Any other behavioral techniques? I do pray and read specific verses when I'm feeling tempted, it does seem to help.
Thanks,
-Steve
The Bible gives us a very effective strategy to follow to be free of any and all sin. But the way to freedom it outlines is intended, not just to bring a person free of bondage to sin, but to move them into joyful, holy fellowship with God. Most people want to be free of their sin but often, strangely, they aren't as keen to go deep with their Maker. God's way to freedom from sin, though, is found ultimately i
n Him. He is the freedom He offers. And when He sets a person free, they are free indeed!
I've been discipling men for twenty-five years now. Often, the battle for men is particularly acute in the area of sexual lust. As those I've discipled applied the following to their lives, they not only came free of addiction to porn, masturbation, and such like but found the avenue to freedom from any type of sin.
1 Corinthians 10:13
13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
What is God's "way of escape" from temptation?
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.
4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,
5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
For the Christian, there are three basic – and vital - elements to victorious Christian living:
1).
The Word of Truth:
Psalms 119:11
11 Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You!
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)
16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,
17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Ephesians 6:17
17 And take...the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;
Holy Scripture is vital in the fight against temptation and sin. King David was not mistaken when he drew a direct connection between an intimate knowledge of God's Word and success in avoiding sin. Scripture was Jesus' first line of defense when Satan tempted him in the wilderness (
Matthew 4:1-11). Every time he was tempted, Jesus said the same thing:
"It is written..." The Word of God tells you what is true about God, about you - and about sin. Scripture exposes Satan's lying temptations for what they are and pierces through them with the truth which sets us free. The Bible is the sole offensive weapon God has given us in the spiritual armor we are to wear each day. We must, if we are to have any victory over the Enemy and the “law of sin in our members” (
Romans 7:23), follow God's commands to
memorize His word (
Psalms 119:11; Proverbs 3:1-3; Colossians 3:16),
meditate upon it (
Psalms 1; Psalms 119:48; Philippians 4:8), and
obey it (
Mathew 7:21; James 2:26)!
2).
The Power of God:
You cannot be "holy as God is holy" in your own strength. In fact, God doesn't want you to
try to be holy, He wants you to
let Him be holy in and through you. Your job is to get out of His way, to submit to His will and way and be a vessel that He can use (
2 Timothy 2:19-21). No amount of Bible memorization or quoting of Scripture in the midst of temptation will help you if you aren't living in full submission to God. Satan and/or the impulses of our own flesh cannot be properly and effectively resisted from a position of independence from God. We must
first submit to God and
then we are in the right place to resist the devil.
Philippians 2:13
13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.
Romans 6:12-13
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in the lusts thereof.
13 Neither yield you your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
Romans 12:1
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
James 4:6-7
6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble."
7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Christ described being his disciple in terms of a branch on a vine (
John 15:4, 5). He said that a branch, so long as it stays connected to the vine, will bear fruit. The branch doesn't have to fight and strain to do so, however; it doesn't grip the vine with all its might and quiver with the strain of sucking the sap out of it; it doesn't work hard to force fruit from itself. No, all that is required of the branch is that it remain in intimate and continual connection with the vine. And as it does, the life-giving, fruit-producing sap of the vine flows into the branch, enlarging it and producing
its fruit
through the branch.
A believer who is abiding in the Vine, who is living in constant, conscious surrender to, and union with, Christ, is one in whom the flow of the transforming power of God moves unimpeded. Such a person will find victory over sin a natural and inevitable consequence of their submitted communion with God.
3).
The Armor of Righteousness:
Sin cuts us off from the power and full fellowship of God. (
Psalms 34:16; Isaiah 59:2; James 4:4) If you don't keep short accounts with God, you will soon find yourself spiritually weak and easy prey for temptation. When you sin, as soon as you sin, confess it (
1John 1:9) and move on. You are running a race of sorts spiritually. Does a runner who wants to finish the race well, perhaps to win it, bemoan his situation and remain down when he has fallen? Absolutely not! There is no time to waste in a race! He gets right back up and continues to run. And so must the believer who has fallen into sin. Consider the apostle Paul's words:
Hebrews 12:1
1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
Philippians 3:12-14
12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.
13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Too often, believers think they must grieve their sin and condemn themselves before God so that He will forgive them; they must show themselves, by the degree of their upset over their sin,
worthy of God's forgiveness. But this is to attempt to earn God's forgiveness and thus to contribute to the perfect atoning work of Christ on the cross! Certainly, a believer ought to feel sorrow over their sin (
Ja. 4:8-10), but never with the view to making themselves thereby worthy of God's forgiveness. “Jesus paid it all,” the old hymn says;
there is nothing that remains for us to do to obtain God's forgiveness. And so, when we sin, we confess it to God so that the forgiveness
that is already ours in Christ may be applied to us. Having done so, all that remains is to resume the “race” and “press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
The Bottom Line:
Although there are three factors that have been emphasized as vital to living in victory over sin, they all rest upon what Paul explains in his letter to the Philippians:
Philippians 2:13
13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.
It is because the believer has been indwelt by the Holy Spirit and by him made both willing and able to do God's will that the believer hungers for the word of God, and desires to submit to the will and way of God, and is eager to keep short accounts with Him. It is because the believer has been indwelt by the Holy Spirit that these desires may be positively acted upon. The Holy Spirit is the power source of the Christian life, working in and through the believer to fulfill God's will His way. There is, then, no genuinely born-again child of God who cannot live a victorious Christian life. It is their spiritual birthright and ought increasingly to be the daily experience of every true disciple of Christ.
Jude 1:24-25
24 Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, And to present you faultless Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
25 To God our Savior, Who alone is wise, Be glory and majesty, Dominion and power, Both now and forever. Amen.
One last thing: Scripture commands,
Romans 13:14
14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.
Steer clear of avenues of temptation. A former alcoholic shouldn't be passing by bars, if he can help it; a recovering drug addict shouldn't be hanging out with drug users; a semi-reformed glutton shouldn't be ogling pastry shops. If the avenue of temptation is your cell phone, get rid of it, cut off all data access, get a simple flip-phone with no access to the 'net. If the avenue to temptation is your PC, take a bat to it, or put it in a place where you cannot ever use it unobserved. If the avenue is what you watch on t.v., get rid of the t.v. and any DVDs you have that are not honoring to the Lord. If books and magazines are avenues to temptation, toss 'em. This matter of making no provision for the flesh is where people discover how really serious they are about being free of sin.
