Mercyburst, I aplaud your honesty, I sincerely do, and I genuinely wish you all the blessings and hapiness in the world... so please don't take this as a personal attack, it is genuinely intended as constructive criticism and I hope you can accept it as such...
can you see that if you are saying things like this "I was shacking up with them and had no respect for myself either as a substance abuser and fornicator." then the problem isn't with homosexuals, its with you?
At the time I was doing these things I was proud of myself, much as you are about your gay relationship, but something was missing in my life. I later found out it was God's spirit that was missing in my life.
Hear me out, you admit to having problems with yourself, and you are associating homosexuals with those feelings because you are projecting what you percieve as your flaws onto others.
Actually I lived a life of debauchery and substance abuse, and was proud of it at the time. I'd brag on the chicks I'd been to bed with -- proving what a man I was to the other guys, and they'd do likewise. Just about every guy wanted to think he was god's blessing for women.
I hope and pray eventually you overcome this,
I overcame it the day I got saved and found out what a waste my life was living for pleasure.
and are able to respect both yourself and other people on their merits, rather than condemn them on percieved shortcomings.
I condemn myself for my own shortcomings, but with a knew life in Christ I don't have to worry about it anymore. That was 27 years ago -- longer than you've been alive.
Get help if you need it, just try to seek help from people who will accept your flaws and those of others,
No problem.. Christ fixed that. Thanks for the suggestion, but Chrsit is my justification now.
rather than from people whose idea of help is to make themselves feel better by putting others down, which I fear is what your current coping mechanism is.
There is a temptation to do that, but I'm being totally honest with myself. It's not a better-than-somebody feeling, as I judge myself to the same standard and find myself guilty. I would feel very ashamed without Christ as my justification. He is the only thing that gives me any self-respect after the way I lived.
As far as a two-year consenting relationship goes -- I never believed it was christian whether it was opposite sex or same-sex. That's just the way it is. If you came to me 30 years ago and told me you were a christian involved in a lesbian relationship, I would have said something like "yeah, and I'm a christian dope head."
Can you show me in the Bible where substance abuse is wrong? There are verses in the Bible that are pretty clearly against gay sex to a lot of people that read them, but nadda for pot-smoking zombies like I was. Nobody can produce such a verse for argument -- but my conscience knows it is wrong, and likewise for other immorality. I could line up with all the justification arguments you have for gay sex, and then some, to justify my substance abuse like "it's not in the Bible", "I'm only doing it to myself", "God made drugs so it must be ok", "everybody else is doing it to", "I'm as good as a person that drinks a lot and that's socially acceptable" etc etc etc.
Here's the bottom line
Before I became a Christian I'd occasionaly go to church with my substance abusing bi-sexual girlfriend and feel pretty good about my life, and pretty good about going to church. If you asked me if I was a christian I'd say "well I went to church last sunday." I was doing it mostly to make her parents feel better about me.
But what Christ-honoring testimony would I have, except to those that wanted to do the same things, and defend their pet sins like mine? A half Christian, that appeals mostly to those that share his /her pet sins, is no Christian at all. That's what I was.
So tell me why a same-sex-practicing-christian is a better example of Christ than a so-called christian-substance-abuser like I was.
