endless

[Etienne]

Ever since I was saved almost 2 years ago, I have had a constant up and down struggle to stay close with God. I will be really close to Him for awhile, then away for awhile, then back close with Him. And I am really tired of it. But I don't know how to stop it. Is this a normal thing or does it happen to any of you?

I also have this sin that I just cannot get over. I know that Jesus has already forgiven me and I know that he has forgotten it, but I just can't seem to get past it. I have prayed about it and nothing. I know that this is probably holding me back. Any suggestions?

 

[silentpoet]

I have lots of suggestions, but I don't know how helpful some are. For me what has worked in the past is to focus on those aspects of God that I most fully grasp. For example, the aspect of trust or faith has always been my week spot. However I do feel strongly about service and caring. So instead of focusing on where I am weak, I focus on those aspects of God I most strongly feel/grasp. I try not to worry about those aspects of God that I don't feel or grasp or understand well. Note the word is try, as I am often not successful. But this does give me some measure of comfort or even progress in my relationship with God.

There are books out there for all kinds of struggles with Sin. Some I have found helpful, some are not. It might do you better to just read say a general apologetic and broaden your Christian base before you go after a specific problem. One thing I do know is that God's timing of deliverence is often not close to what we might desire. Also I do know that my efforts are most productive not when they are trying to accomplish a specific outcome, but rather when they are seeking God's answer to the problem. The fine line we must walk is between the necessity for us to change our actions or attitudes and the necessity to fully rely on grace to deliver us. And so far I have not been very successful in that tightrope walk myself.

Jesus did not say this walk would be easy for He would not lie. The walk to be closer to God is a struggle. And often times some of the things God does in our lives work with our natural inclinations to resist His will. In part because of the value God places on free will, He will not bribe us to do or be better. This is troubling sometimes, but this is how things are. I can't say I understand what God is doing in my life, much less venture a good guess as to what He is doing in your life. But I do know He is at work in you.

 

[Chopinzee]

1 - Try to have some sort of routine fellowship in your life, like a weekly Bible study, and even posting on CF helps.
2 - How bad of a sin are we talking here?

 

[Etienne]

\How bad of a sin are we talking here?

It is NOT that bad. Some of my friends don't even think it is sin. But I knew it was wrong when I was doing it, so that makes it a sin. I didn't kill anybody or anything.

 

[Treasurer]

I remember a sin I kept praying about over and over for. One day the Lord said to me, I have already forgiven you for that, you have to forgive yourself. Guess I hadnt even thought about that concept . I was a kid so it hadnt dawned on me. I thought God was the only one who was suppose to do the forgiving.

Now I would have to think on this one cuz I had no clue how one was suppose to forgive themselves. It would be quite some time before the Lord would be able to get me to grasp this concept. In fact, it was a cold night when he first started working on it with me about, what six years ago. Something like that. I had just done something so horrible and had to ask Gods forgiveness. But I couldnt get it out of my mind, because all I could think of was how my daughter saw me in that condition. And I knew that would forever be in her mind, how could she or myself ever forgive me.

That was when God spoke to me. I was outside in the snow, all alone. And he said, can you change it? Can you go back and repeat the past? I thought about it and said No. Of course I knew I couldnt. He said then live for today, you cant change yesterday, but you can live for today.

For the first time it began to start making sense. That verse in the bible where it says take up your cross "daily" and follow me. God forgives us of our past, that is why he says to take up our cross every day and follow him.

But the Lord wasnt done teaching me. He still had another lesson on this subject for me. About a year or two ago the Lord gave me a dream. It was very specific. It was about my life, he even showed me a place I had worked when I first started making bad decisions in my life. A time I would love to go back in time and change. (I will only give a little part though) He showed me a piece of paper, and I had a pencil and I was told to write two things I was thankful for. So I chose the names: Greenfield (symbolic of a time I would like to forget) and Migraines (symbolic of what I want a healing from).

And I was told to write them on the paper. So I tried to write Greenfield, but no matter how hard I tried to write Greenfield, it could not be written. The only thing that could still be written at this time was migraines. (There was more, but for now that is all we need for this story).

The Lord was showing me how his forgiveness works. He had forgiven me of so much pain and grief. Of a past so horrible I wish I could erase it. And the Lord did erase it. He had forgiven me. It was as if it had never been written, and never could be written. To me that was so awesome. To me that was like reading about Sodom and Gomorah where they were told not to look back and the city was destroyed, and then in the book of revelation where it says symbolically Jesus was crucified in Egypt and Sodom. I was taken to the cross of my Lord and my past was crucified with my Lord, and with him I am made a new creation!

Anyways, I know the Lord can get you past this sin, what you feel cannot be forgiven. It is forgivable. All that has to really be done is you have to realize it. You have to accept it. And believe it. (See I didnt understand it, or realize it, to be able to accept it or believe it. I hope that I have at least helped you in that area. If not then ask the Lord to help you understand, I know he will).


We all have days that we "feel" closer than others. But every day we believe. That never changes. Because either you believe Jesus is the Son of God or you dont. You dont have to rely on emotion to believe in God. Love really isnt about an emotion, not to me. Do you love your mom and dad? Or your sister or brother? Do you love them every day? Would you do anything for them? See I would. I live with my mom and two brothers. I go to the store for them everyday. I cook for them every day. An endless list because I love them. But I dont rely on an emotion to do these things. But it is still love.

Like 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through ever circumstance. Love will last forever...


Love is a fruit of the Spirit. So see, the Lord has never left you. He has been inside you the whole time.

God Bless

 

[Sketcher]

I'm afraid it's normal. Yes, it's a problem but you're not a worse Christian than most, we all deal with that.

 

[Chopinzee]

It is NOT that bad. Some of my friends don't even think it is sin. But I knew it was wrong when I was doing it, so that makes it a sin. I didn't kill anybody or anything.

That doesn't actually make it a sin, because you could have been incorrect. Mind telling what it was?

 

[ImHisServant]

That doesn't actually make it a sin, because you could have been incorrect. Mind telling what it was?

It's obvious that she would like to keep that a private matter between her and God or she would have given the details the last time... let's respect that... she is still getting wonderful advice that will get her past it without opening it up to a group. If God wants her to share... then she will either post it or PM to someone she feels comfortable doing so with.

 

[Chopinzee]

I wasn't trying to be nosey, I'm just saying, the more information we have, the better we'll be able to help.

 

[holo]

Jesus is already inside you. You can't get closer to Him than that. He's there wherever you go and whatever you do, when you pray and when you sin. Once you realize that, things will get easier.