Employment

[bomichaels]

Since being employed and staying employed is such a struggle of mine I was hoping to start a thread on this issue. I've come to realize many
people with Bipolar struggle with this sphere of their lives. Finding a
job and keeping it seems is so hard for me to do. About 5 months into
a job I get stressed and freak out. I then quit and it makes things worse.
I wonder sometimes if I create many of my depressive episodes due to
this pattern in my life.

Does anyone else struggle with holding down a job? Do you ever get overwhelmed by the pressures of work?

 

[AmeriLovesJesus]

Ive been struggling with that lately. Same as you I feel I just make my situation worse by walking away from there jobs but truthfully if you look at it from a different perspective you may see you are just trying to find whats comfortable for you. I get very overwhelmed. I think I get more overwhelmed with the fact that I could get stuck with that kind of job forever & run away from it quickly.

God says do your best at whatever you do stay patient but please dont beat yourself up over this behavior. God gives us a million times to start over & try again. Start asking God what you are looking for in a job. Anything and I bet he will show a really good job that you've wanted for a long time. Why not also in the beginning of these jobs ask for shorter hours so you can ease your way into these jobs instead of jumping in full force.

 

[sundogkm]

I have a job, but it's not the one I really want. I used to work at a daycare for developmentally delayed children. Many of them had behavioral problems as well, so it was a very stressful job and I found myself losing control of my emotions quite often. I finally switched to an office job, which is much less stress and easier on my emotional well-being, but I miss my kids and want to go back to my old job. However, I'm not going to let myself go back until I have better control over my emotions. That may never happen, but I'm trying.
The only other time I've really had a problem with work was when I worked at Home Depot and I hated the job and almost everyone who worked there. I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning and I definitely didn't want to go to work. I ended up getting fired for tardiness, and then I spent about 3 months too depressed to get a job until finally my husband told me I had to.

 

[Jeshu]

I haven't held any kind of paid job for more than 14 years, 7 of which I have been on a pension.

Work was very hard, because I was very very hard on myself and wouldn't give myself a break and always striving after more ability. In reality at times I just couldn't do it, and often lied and cheated to get by unnoticed, because I was good at my work elsewhere, I kept most of my jobs, but I suffered unbelievable stress and physical pain doing it.

Later when I started to work with people my hours became much more flexible that helped a great deal, for when I was badly depressed or in my panic attack mood I could often simply stay home.

Now I know I cannot work or be with people, I'm perpetually hearing voices and seeing things go on. I get unbelievable back aches from the stress of being with people, especially when wrong spirituality rules. For years I struggled to keep going, thinking it was all in my head, how true this turned out to be. Where massive back aches, migraines, crushing bouts of depression, and mad sleepless nights chasing impossible dreams and relentless study, seeking answers to impossible questions. turning me mad time and again.

It can be so bad that just going to the house of my own kids can spin me out for a week, where I hear all kind of things with regards to the house and the people living there, both good and bad. It drives me nuts, so I avoid people and stress as much as possible.

Now I don't even know if I answered your question.

Have a nice day.

 

[Alive again]

I have sepnt almost 15 years on SSDI and am now in my second attempt to return to work expecting a letter from Soc Sec anyday asking for the last two months back as an overpayment as I have used up my trial work period. It is a struggle, but I am thankful to have been able to try this and see where God takes me. I make significantly more working than on SSDI, but am so thankful that it is there for me should I not be able to work again. Last year I worked for 9 months and crashed. This year I have worked 5 months so far and with the return of fal am having a harder time getting up every morning!!! The work I love has changed so much in the years I was out. . . So Off to work I go, I have tried working part time, but they keep sucking me into more hours, and I am in a profession I cannot share my illness in or I might lose my license.

 

[the.Sheepdog]

I spent years in the military after the war (Viet Nam) cross trained into nuclear weapons technician with a strong case of Bi-Polar disorder making me manic or almost ready to die. I drug myself thru the weeks and months until I was decertified for nukes under the Human Reliability Program. Thats a program to make sure nukes are safe.

Back then all they did was give me drugs and tell me to cross train again into another war skill! I found that my illness was mostly situational from PTSD (something they knew very little about back then) and when I got treatment for that I got a lot better.

The meds made me gain some weight and with my disability for the injured left leg (nam) they did what I knew they would do and separated me from the service.

A peacetime military always eats it's own. Thank God that Jesus celebrates me and will never leave or lose me! Jesus also appreciates me !

 

[plumsink]

Jesus loves you bro.

I too had problems with work, even before my heart attack. My last job before my current part-time one was absolutely soul-crushing - working telephone support for an evil extended-warranty corporation that basically did not honor the support they promised to people. So people would be stressed at me, understandably, and I would be stressed that I was working for such dishonorable people.

After that, I was unemployed for awhile because I couldn't face going back to that same kind of employment world. Then the heart attack and I couldn't work.

But Jesus assures us, the troubles of this life are temporary. One day all the suffering for us will be no more, will be gone, and we will be with Christ. That will be a happy thing.

In the meantime, we make our way.

Peace and love in Christ

Robert

 

[bomichaels]

Man, it is so comforting to know I'm not alone in my struggle with employment.
I have to come to terms that I do have disability
I don't fully understand. A diseased mind is a crazy disease indeed.
I know that Jesus is good no matter what happens. It is just hard
sometimes to accept that he allows the suffering beyond what I
even understand. Faith can be a hard thing to hang on to during
such times of disaster. I guess my fear really is being alone and
not having anyone know I'm alive. My wife and I don't plan on
having kids due to finances and my illness. However, the older
I get the more sad I'm am about not leaving a legacy. I carry
so much guilt and shame still. I know what I should do and that
God loves me...But I can't seem to let it go. I hate that. However,
it might be the depression talking too. Thanks for sharing guys.
It's nice to know there are good people out there!

 

[Jeshu]

Man, it is so comforting to know I'm not alone in my struggle with employment.
I have to come to terms that I do have disability
I don't fully understand. A diseased mind is a crazy disease indeed.
I know that Jesus is good no matter what happens. It is just hard
sometimes to accept that he allows the suffering beyond what I
even understand. Faith can be a hard thing to hang on to during
such times of disaster. I guess my fear really is being alone and
not having anyone know I'm alive. My wife and I don't plan on
having kids due to finances and my illness. However, the older
I get the more sad I'm am about not leaving a legacy. I carry
so much guilt and shame still. I know what I should do and that
God loves me...But I can't seem to let it go. I hate that. However,
it might be the depression talking too. Thanks for sharing guys.
It's nice to know there are good people out there!

You know dear friend I know so well how you must feel. I've struggled like that as well.

I relaised that when I listen to guilt and shame my life would be full of doubt and fears and my misery would be impossible to deal with.

To listen to God's love, though guilt and shame pull hard, but stubbornly keep on holding onto His hand, is what got me away from where you are now, also when I'm depressed I'm free of having to hear guilt and shame, instead I receive comfort and ability to go on.

Try Jesus dear friend, pour out your pain, and await His loving peace to greet you, and sow the seeds of love right into your heart where shame and guilt ruled for so long.

And after just a few weeks you will see new growth.

much love your way.

 

[Brinmar]

Hey everybody!!
I've had LOTS of jobs because of stress and dealing with people. I've been at my current job at a radio station for the last 10 years!! YAY!! I am able to work because I love the job, work all alone in this studio, and my bosses don't mind if I freak out - they just say "that's Heidi". Believe it or not - I'm the "sanest" person that works for this company - we've got some crazies - but I don't have to deal with them much cause I'm by myself here.

My kids ask me if I've had every job - I tell'em Yup!!
Heidi

 

[bsd31]

Holding down a job in the past has been all but impossible for me. But I've learned to recognize my cycles and plan time for myself when necessary. More than that I've learned to trust in Christ to get me through the rough spot. By that I mean when I'm working, but not really doing my job. There are times when I just coast through and collect a pay check but don't really work. On the other hand I try to make up by taking little time off, working extra hours, and always being willing and ready to help. It seems to work out.

 

[RealityPixie]

Before I found the right meds/therapies I also struggled with employment, following the same sort of patterns; Sticking around for a few months, then freaking out and bailing. I put it down to the narural cycling of BP. However I'm pretty stable now and although it may be difficult at times I don't have many problems with my work/study.

What kind of work do you do? You may want to consider how your work could be promoting your triggers. For example, one of my main triggers is stress. Another one is remaining static for extended periods (ie repetitive sort of jobs, unstimulating, etc). Are your jobs to stressful? Or do they not demand enough of you? Are you working all the time, or do you feel like you're in a dead end? Think long and hard about your triggers, and whether your job is causing your swings or if it just part of your natural cycling.

 

[bomichaels]

I'm just so discouraged about work...Right now I live in AZ and do Pest Control Part-Time just for some money to help my wife and I. I have
5 years in Human Resources and want to continue in that field. I also
have a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology. Ironic, right... Right now
I do not feel mentally challenged and it is getting to me. I now the economy is bad and all of that...I just am feeling hopeless and miserable.
I'm glad I have meds now and that has helped tremendously. I'm really
a creative type and also like helping people solve their problems. I feel
a bit lost and confused. End of rambling...

 

[Jeshu]

I'm just so discouraged about work...Right now I live in AZ and do Pest Control Part-Time just for some money to help my wife and I. I have
5 years in Human Resources and want to continue in that field. I also
have a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology. Ironic, right... Right now
I do not feel mentally challenged and it is getting to me. I now the economy is bad and all of that...I just am feeling hopeless and miserable.
I'm glad I have meds now and that has helped tremendously. I'm really
a creative type and also like helping people solve their problems. I feel
a bit lost and confused. End of rambling...

I relate so well to what you say. Looking at all the things I had to leave behind, I'm also well educated and qualified, it sure brought many a tear to my eyes.

However in the end I was glad it all burned, for in me, it had so much control over my feeling world that it brought me much shame, guilt, loss, and fear and therefore much worse depression.

In The End I began to understand what the Jesus meant when He said - those who try and gain their lives will loose it and those who loose it for my name sake will find it.

For when I lost my old life, I gained a new perspective on myself and my abilities, a freedom I love very much now, for my feelings no longer play havoc in me when I can't do something because I'm unwell, and yet all my talent and skills have continued to improved with age. Jesus will still be getting His desired harvest and that is all that counts in The End.

Please know there is more to life than it may now seem. You are just travelling through those huge dark tunnels, but light will meet you again when you once more ascend from there.

Be of good courage and never let go of love, faith and hope!