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Eliminating your social interactions, any side effects?

Discussion in 'The Kitchen Sink' started by Yennora, Jul 21, 2019.

  1. gaara4158

    gaara4158 I prefer you trust your reason.

    +1,372
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    Why is it you feel obligated to send timely replies to all your messages? Your contacts should understand that you, as an adult with responsibilities, might not always have time to reply right away or spend 3 hours chatting back and forth. Personally, I have a few people I chat with regularly online, and we just come and go as we please. That's the best way to do it, I think.
     
  2. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    Thank you everyone for truly helping me on the matter.

    I broke down socially recently and I cut off most social interactions for nearly a week. (since last Monday).

    What did I gain? Mental wellbeing, peacefulness, ability to set goals and think clearer about my life. Even getting some things done and my health sort of improved. I had an irritating dry cough and I had to get dizzy, now I'm more stable. (the frequent chatting and mental pressure really affected me in a bad way)

    However, I will have to return and message people back. Since I find it hurtful to them to hang them this way. But this time I will be bolder. I will let them know about my emotional break down and that I need to have more time for myself. And that I won't be as responsive or expressive as before.
     
  3. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    Lessons taught and good notes:

    Agree, I tried it over this last week and it is certainly much calmer and peaceful.

    I love this, even though I'm a home person, I think I need to go outside more, especially that I got into photography recently and it encourages me to go outside a lot.

    That's what I have been taught over this last week. From now on, I should reject what degrades my mental wellbeing.

    Exactly!

    This summarizes my whole issue. It is my mistake that I started friendships I couldn't handle. But now, instead of throwing those friendships behind my back, I will tweak my interactions with those friends in a way that doesn't affect my wellbeing and yet doesn't hurt them. The only way they can hurt themselves is when they break into the new boundaries I made. Here, they will see a new reaction. Of course as respectful as I can, but I won't give in as often anymore.

    Thank you! I will :)

    I did and it was liberating! :oldthumbsup:

    Agree, and I won't give up my own goals and life for fruitless interactions.

    I'm with you! I hate those social media platforms and I see them going in the very wrong direction anyway. Hopefully I reduced most of my interactions with Facebook and Twitter and it is truly liberating.

    I'm willing to do it, not sure if I will, but it depends on the future anyway. But I'm more than willing to throw it all behind my back.

    Exactly, and from now on, I will try to stop trampling my wellbeing to make others feel good about themselves. I will be bolder and more up to the point. No more paragraphs, no more long messages. (I will reserve this to those I chose to genuinely invest in as "exceptionally close" and those are very rare, I will very rarely do it with others)
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2019
  4. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    I should from now on :) With most people (not all).

    I also have some very beautiful birds around the house and I love to sit and watch them sometimes, I even try to interact with them and their beauty is breathtaking. I should never give up my bond with nature for prolonged uninteresting chats. I agree.
     
  5. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    Online and sometimes on the phone. There was also that guy that always wanted to meet up and go to events and it was always a burden having to tell him that I'm not going to make it every single time and yet he keeps on inviting. Now he rarely talks to me but I'm better this way. I'm an introvert, he is a really tough extravert, we cannot be blended together. Conflicts occur. (But I should check up on him from time to time, He might do as well, I just hope I won't get invited to another event :doh:)

    Anyway I will try to follow your example! :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2019
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  6. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +4,892
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    It happens. I avoid it by listening to their conversation and its focus. I don’t form quick connections or support networks. I prefer companions with a healthy self-esteem and quality of life. I consider whether the relationship is mutually beneficial. It can’t be one-sided.

    One of the things that I’m mindful of is life season. I look for similarities now. I have a lot of ease, comfort and peace. Having friends with comparable lifestyles helps.
     
  7. ChristianForCats

    ChristianForCats God Seeker

    +960
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    I feel like my refusal to use Facebook isolates me from people who would otherwise be willing to send me emails to maintain relationships. "I posted cat pictures on Facebook." I said, "Send me emails. I don't use Facebook." I never got an email with cat pictures. It is the opposite of liberating, but I have no regrets.
     
  8. RayJeena

    RayJeena Humble and proud of it. Supporter

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    When it comes to Facebook and the "Seen" indicator, I simply don't read a message at all until I'm ready to respond to it (if a response is even needed). This way, the sender can't feel hurt because I saw a message but didn't respond.
     
  9. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    I do that as well. The problem is, by doing this for 2-3 days I will end up with a pile of unanswered messages and hence a wasted day in chatting back and forth. That's why I decided to be a bit non-expressive and non-responsive with most people who are not exceptionally close to me.

    i.e: instead of going "That's really good! You've done well in X and Y and Z..." I can go "Cool :)".

    I know the latter doesn't sound like the best response sometimes but going with the first style for years really drained me.
     
  10. RDKirk

    RDKirk Alien, Pilgrim, and Sojourner Supporter

    +10,978
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    I'm on Facebook because so many of my family are on Facebook (particularly my children and grandchildren). They are not going to send me pictures or letters in the mail. That's true of distant family as well.

    I ignore nearly all "friend requests" that are not from family or "real world" actual friends. And I have Facebook notifications to my phone turned off.

    Since my only correspondence is from family and real world friends, I have no problem desiring to maintain that correspondence.

    I don't bother with any other social media such as Instagram or Twitter. And regardless of the fact that Millennials and younger think text messages require instant responses, I read 'em when I'm ready to read 'em, and I respond to 'em when I'm ready to respond to 'em.

    I have an application called "Messages for Web" that connects my phone to my computer for messaging. I'll often wait until I'm home and at my desk to respond to a text message from my keyboard (as cranky Aaron McGruder said, "Nobody ever wrote anything worth reading with his thumbs").

    I've been on Internet bulletin boards, newsgroups, and such since the early 80s--I don't consider them "social media." They're easy enough to take a vacation from.
     
  11. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    I love this! This is pretty much the direction I'm taking now. No one should demand instant response from me anymore, even if I have free time, if I don't feel like it, I won't do it. (except for a few people/exceptions)
     
  12. ChristianForCats

    ChristianForCats God Seeker

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    I created a Facebook account ONLY because most people do it and refuse to send me emails instead like I told them to do. Reading my wall was like listening to one end of a personal phone call.
     
  13. RayJeena

    RayJeena Humble and proud of it. Supporter

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    There's another workaround that might be helpful, and that is the option to block Facebook contacts from being able to message you privately at all. Facebook used to have this option but then removed it for awhile. Now, that option is back (they must've gotten some backlash from users for having removed it in the first place).
     
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  14. RayJeena

    RayJeena Humble and proud of it. Supporter

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    I've actually recently gotten into the habit of having my smartphone on Airplane Mode, until such a time as I'm good and ready to see what's been sent to me, whether it be a text, a social media push-notification, or a phone-call. Between having one of those pay-as-you-go plans, and robocalls increasing (the last straw being one that called at 1AM), I decided it was time to set some boundaries on when my phone will have my attention. I feel like I've regained some control over that, and it's rather nice! :)
     
  15. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    Thank you for sharing that tip! That will certainly be very handy.

    (I also thought about deleting/indefinetly deactivating my Facebook which I might do very soon so FB shouldn't be a burden anymore :) But I should keep that tip in mind for mom as well as she got a lot of annoying messages previously)
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2019
  16. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +9,004
    Anabaptist
    As written, bad company corrupts good morals. 'Socializing' might lead to (or be continuing) grievous errors.
     
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