eHarmony

[invisiblebabe]

I think eHarmony is silly. I tried the personality test once or twice just for kicks, and it didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. It seems to promote gross generalizations as amazingly insightful descriptions about personality.

Moreover, a friend and I tried an experiment on that site... he took the test too, and it turned out that we got almost the exact same results. We are very different personality-wise, too.... my being more socially inclined and much more abstract in thought than he, just to name a few differences.

My two cents: someone should start a matchmaking system for Christians based on the MBTI.

 

[Ave Maria]

eHarmony seems like it'd be an excellent site if not for the fact that it is so outrageously expensive! I think it costs like $40 something a month?

 

[hockeysistah12]

Eharmony is not a christian site but they do try to appeal to christians. I even heard an ad on a local christian radio station.

And just because it is under the guise of "christian" does not mean that many of them are not accountable to a local church body or bear good fruit, which many of the people are not.


The reason why they say they are christian because they want to lure you in and then when you find out they are something they are not, you are dispointed and you get ripped off, not able to trust anyone anymore.


And it did happen to me--I signed up for those dating services, CC, E-harmony, Yahoo (Which there are many phonies on there)and the list goes on. And since I date other races, there are a number of people who think they want you for one thing and one thing only-sex.

A lot of people are dishonest on these sites. There are people who also go to drug treatment centers and even gays and lesbians which exploit people as well. They do also check out those sites also.

I don't want to be judgemental, but I had bad experiences with those sites, even those sites which say to be "Christian."

 

[Raanan]

eharmony can't match me. Couldn't match me a year ago either. Might be cause I'm not 21 but whateva. I don't want to pay to meet people when I can leave my dorm room and meet like 20 people at any given time.

 

[SuperTech]

He sent me another email asking me if I wore sandals and toe rings in the summer and if I liked to be tickled.

Well, what's the answer? Just kidding.

 

[fishstix]

I think eHarmony is silly. I tried the personality test once or twice just for kicks, and it didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. It seems to promote gross generalizations as amazingly insightful descriptions about personality.

Moreover, a friend and I tried an experiment on that site... he took the test too, and it turned out that we got almost the exact same results. We are very different personality-wise, too.... my being more socially inclined and much more abstract in thought than he, just to name a few differences.

My two cents: someone should start a matchmaking system for Christians based on the MBTI.

I find that the MBTI is also a gross generalization.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Regardless if the site adverstises as a Christian site or not, I think that we need to be cautious with on-line dating. I have met some pretty nice fellows through these sites, however, I did what I could to check them out before meeting. We need to talk with them long enough to get a sense of what they put in their ad and how they actually live their life matches up. I know sometimes we can still be fooled, but let's face it, that happens in real life as well. I have learned on those sites just because someone says they are Christian, it doesn't mean that they are. It might just mean they believe that God exists, so they label themselves a Christian. However, spending the time to get to know someone helps us to see their fruits, just as hockeysistah said.

 

[TriptychR]

I did the test thing once, just to see what it would say about me, and it told me something along the lines of not matching any of the categories that they put people into.

Yeah, same here. That's how eHarmony keeps its success rate so high: it blocks out the weirdos.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I find that the MBTI is also a gross generalization.

Depends on what level of complexity you take it to.... there's also the functional type level, which I find quite interesting... as well as Kerisey's temperaments and just how strong each of the preferences are I find it generally is more descriptive of those who fit the types more strongly.... if several of your preferences aren't to very high degrees, then yes, it won't be quite as descriptive of you.

 

[college4christ81]

I like Eharmony, but if i don't constantly go on there and respond to matchs and communicate with them then they delete me as a match. On the good side when one deletes me as a match I get a new one but to me I think they should be more patient. I can go weeks with not using it just because I am working on school work and stuff in my life.

 

[fishstix]

Depends on what level of complexity you take it to.... there's also the functional type level, which I find quite interesting... as well as Kerisey's temperaments and just how strong each of the preferences are I find it generally is more descriptive of those who fit the types more strongly.... if several of your preferences aren't to very high degrees, then yes, it won't be quite as descriptive of you.

In order to get all the billions of people in the world to fit into the little boxes, there would have to be an astronomical number of little boxes. Ideally, a unique little box for every single person who ever has and ever will exist. For me, it's not just that I have preferences that aren't to very high degrees, but also that I seem to be the direct opposite of myself, with many preferences that aren't borderline but that would put me squarely in opposite corners at the same time. In other words, I just don't fit the little boxes, even if there are quite a few of them. I'm unique - as is every other person in the world.

 

[Kaylynn]

My brother is getting married in one week (from this friday...the 17th.). He met his fiance on Eharmony....he got bored one day, filled it out...next thing we knew...we called him one day and he was driving to Missouri to meet some girl he met online...then next thing we knew he was engaged and they were visiting each other every other weekend. *shrugs* it worked for him.

 

[waterbear]

EHarmony said I was one of the 20%(?) whom would not benefit from their system. I already knew that, but it's not always the case that there's agreement - EHarmony was right about me

As for typing people (MBTI or what not) - yes it is ultimately stereotypes if the other person doesn't volunteer the information. Stereotypes/models are similar constructs - they try to extrapolate more knowledge about someone (or something to be more general) than what is known. Provided stereotypes/models aren't blindly trusted, they are more useful than not.

In the case of MBTI, provided both people know it fairly well sharing type information is an easy way of describing yourself. And it would only make sense to share this information with the appropriate caveats as to when the model (per description of said type) fails in your specific instance.

A dating service based on MBTI makes some sense, there is at least a higher probabilty I'll find certain someone of type X more agreeable than someone of type Y - which means that providing this information would facilitate searching through large numbers of potential interests.

 

[Princess Pea]

I've been on and off for a little over a year and have had 25 matches. I closed a handful of them immediately due to obvious issues (age or geographical distance, or issues with the statements on their profiles.) A couple closed me as well. Some of them never responded; some communicated for a while. One I met and dated for a few months. I'll probably meet another one by the end of the year unless one of us chickens out on the upcoming phone call - or if it goes really badly!

I like eharmony because it's discreet - your profile and photo aren't viewable by everyone on earth the way they are on some of the other sites. Only your matches can see it, and even then you have control over whether or not you want your photo to show. Like Invisiblebabe, I didn't really learn anything new about myself via the profile, but I found that to be a strength, not a weakness - to me, it meant the test was probably an accurate measuring tool, insofar as anyone's personality can be "measured!" That percieved accuracy gave me confidence that maybe they really would be able to match me up with compatible people.

Overall, it's been a good experience. As WVMT said, it's not just the Internet where you have to be cautious. It's not free, but neither is dating! I dunno - I guess I'd encourage people who are on the fence about it to give it a try.

 

[hockeysistah12]

I've been on and off for a little over a year and have had 25 matches. I closed a handful of them immediately due to obvious issues (age or geographical distance, or issues with the statements on their profiles.) A couple closed me as well. Some of them never responded; some communicated for a while. One I met and dated for a few months. I'll probably meet another one by the end of the year unless one of us chickens out on the upcoming phone call - or if it goes really badly!

I like eharmony because it's discreet - your profile and photo aren't viewable by everyone on earth the way they are on some of the other sites. Only your matches can see it, and even then you have control over whether or not you want your photo to show. Like Invisiblebabe, I didn't really learn anything new about myself via the profile, but I found that to be a strength, not a weakness - to me, it meant the test was probably an accurate measuring tool, insofar as anyone's personality can be "measured!" That percieved accuracy gave me confidence that maybe they really would be able to match me up with compatible people.

Overall, it's been a good experience. As WVMT said, it's not just the Internet where you have to be cautious. It's not free, but neither is dating! I dunno - I guess I'd encourage people who are on the fence about it to give it a try.

Yes, but ya know, these 26 or whatever traits of compatablity that Warren is advertisting does not make a marriage, I'm sorry. This is like falls in line with Christian psyhology which many christians are caught up in. I can tell that you believe in the net and ya know many people on the net can play games and that include e-harmomy and yahoo and the end result is that people get hurt and ripped off. I was one of those persons who believed in that only to be lied to and never wanting to trust anyone. Many of you are young and think online dating works, but for this 45 year old, it did not work because of ya see, people don't want anyone who is walking with the lord and involved in her local church, but many christian men who I found on these personals and on e-harmony want this fashion model type person.

They don't want anyone who is normal looking but they want this image. And that whats gets me.

I'm not trying to be critical, but I'm so tired of phonies and something people are not. And this what made me gave up on finding anyone online because there are no decent people, but many people put want to put on an act to impress people.