Dysfunctional In-Laws

[BenevolentB]

Na

 

[tturt]

By helping him realize who he really is.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psa 27:1

"O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him." Psa 34:8

"Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation. 2 He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved." Psa 62:1-2

"How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. 8 They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures.
9 For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light. 10 O continue thy lovingkindness unto them that know thee; and thy righteousness to the upright in heart." Psa 36 7-10

ETC

 

[benromana]

On judgmental people, Jesus would ask your boyfriend to love them anyway (Matthew 5:43-44). How? Following the apostle Paul's advice to the Corinthians, to love them is not to allow himself to be provoked to anger, and to endure the criticism (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

And when you and your boyfriend do decide to marry, live independently even if it means being far away, so you may "become one flesh" (Mark 10:8).

I can personally attest to the practical wisdom of Jesus' teachings and Scripture, having observed or experienced similar situations in my 36-year marriage.

While it's magnanimous to be involved in and help out with troublesome in-law situations, I believe Jesus tells us all that our highest priority is the health of our marriage and the children we're bringing to this earth.

 

[BFine]

I would not belong to Topix, nor would I even consider them a site
worthwhile.
Trashing or trash-talking? don't waste your time on that site...there
are far better sites to join and or visit.

Direct him away from sites like Topix and get him focused on godly
things... as for online sites, I enjoy these--

Christian Mission Trips : Adventures In Missions
The World Race: Christian Missions

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

I need some advice on how to help my boyfriend.

His parent's are great! They've treated me like part of the family from day one and they're wonderful and I do get along with the rest of his family.

This isn't a complaint on them really, but the community. We live in a small town and of course people talk...

My boyfriend is a stand up guy. Kind, hard working, college grad with a really good job and he keeps his nose clean. However, his siblings are another story. His sister rebelled when she was younger and was a stripper, been to prison for drugs, and she recently got a job...where she was fired for theft, but told my boyfriend's parents that she quit (She is 32 years old). Her husband has also had his run ins with the law and is blatantly racist and sports tattoos basically shouting it...even though I don't mind his sister I really can't stand her husband very much. Come to think of it, none of family can except for his sister. She's a big girl and made her choices, but he is the one that had a lot of influence over the direction that she's taken.

His brother is a recovering addict and has also spent time in prison for drugs. He gave his life to Jesus and has been sober going on 3 years now and we're really proud of his progress.

His nephews (His sister's kids) have already been to Juvi a couple of times...they're 13.

I love them and we certainly don't treat them differently because of their choices. The problem is people gossiping and judging. Recently, there have been a lot of posts on a deplorable website called "Topix" where people basically trash talk people and nothing else. They've been posting about my boyfriend's siblings and tying it in with things about him, like:

"Yeah right. You think that guy is really that much different than the other two? He's probably just as bad as they are but is better at hiding it."

"The other two are doing all of this stuff and you think that the other isn't? Doubtful. They're all cut from the same mold! They learned it from somewhere!"

"That whole family is worthless!"

This really starting to get to my boyfriend. It isn't only hurting him to have people think this way of him because of his siblings' actions, but it is also hurting him to hear people talk about his family in general. His mom and dad are good Christians and I know this kills them too as they didn't raise his siblings this way in any way, shape or form. They came from a good family.

How do I help him deal with these judgmental people?

Topix? I think I have heard of it, how do you know the posts were about your bf family?

anyway, it is great you still love them in spite of the wrong choices they have made in life, that is what Christ would do, good on you

as for people, well, you can not control what they have to say

you know, a long time ago I read this book by a Christian author who talks about the similar topic, and she was talking about when you received negative criticisms from others, the first thing you need to think about is whether that person is someone you respect, if not, then what they are saying is not even worth getting offended over.

hope that helps.

 

[Spunkn]

I would not belong to Topix, nor would I even consider them a site
worthwhile.
Trashing or trash-talking? don't waste your time on that site...there
are far better sites to join and or visit.

Direct him away from sites like Topix and get him focused on godly
things... as for online sites, I enjoy these--

Christian Mission Trips : Adventures In Missions
The World Race: Christian Missions

This, stay away from areas that are bringing him down.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Find some good things to replace the bad with.

 

[BenevolentB]

Na

 

[Quasicentennial]

The health or good of Christ shines through us, around us like the invisible magnetic wave patterns of Earth's atmosphere that protects us from the sun's eye-damaging radiation. Our society is like a garden and it hungers for good soil - the goodness of Christ - where the seed of the Word of God is spiritually planted in our hearts so that nourishing wisdom can supenaturally bring a healing of respect and peace to all believers of Christ, besides those whose hearts have been spoilt with the wrong brand of fertilizer - Satan's Sin - that is good one moment and then turns out rotten the next moment.:
Much more than righteous moral spiritual support is our future new mind and body transformation when Jesus returns together with the ultimate home city of free accommodation and free health meals: the kingdom of God that is structurally superior than any man-made mansion, luxury hotel or casino when it comes to earthquakes, floods and harsh windy storms.:
Patience is needed as we wait patiently for Christ's final battle with Satan, and when Christ's victory has been won and shown publicly to us, he will not leave Earth for another thousand years and return for a Third Coming like these Comings seem to have a rhythmic pattern to Christ's comings and goings .;'*';.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

Because they use their full names in the posts.

He doesn't belong to the site and the only reason that he was on it was because someone brought the posts mentioning his family to his attention.

really, full name? wow!

it sounds really personal, is there bad blood between your husbands family and some other people in town?

I mean I would assume when you gossip about another person, you usually wont go there on a public domain.....