Dress Code?

[rookiemum]

I would like to hear from youth leaders and also some young people-

Should youth groups have a dress code? If you have one in your group what is it and how do you enforce it? Do you have different rules for for an outreach night/event (when you have visitors who are not Christians)?

I'm wondering how other groups handle this issue.

Thanks!!

 

[Mling]

When I was in a youth group, we had no official dress code, but I'm sure that if somebody had shown up wearing something really revealing or with a vulgar/violent logo or something, they would have been told to wear something more appropriate next time.

I think some kids were somewhat punk. Most of them wore what they would wear to school, and it was never a problem.

 

[Schutte]

Our public schools have a dress code that is way too strict for everyday (think no t-shirts!). Usually if its a guy, i will say something, if its a girl, a female adult will. Just kind of keep it private and try not to embarrass anyone. We have one lady who uses "if someone is dressed like a fireman, you just assume they are a fireman,"

 

[fireman1173005]

If they wear something to reavealing or somthing like a budwiser shirt or something then I ask them not to wear it to church again. Most of our students know what I expect of them, but I try not to make it a big deal for visitors, just politely tell them.

Brian

 

[rookiemum]

Thanks for your responses. I have a persistent "repeat offender", I'm trying to figure out what to do. Its been a pattern off and on for 3 years, she will do good for a while then slides back into the old pattern of showing way too much. What we've been doing obviously isn't working, I thought I could get some new ideas.

 

[skyblue]

I noticed in our bulletin for a summer beach outing that they asked teens to remember to only wear modest one-piece swimwear and if they forgot they'd have a bright t-shirt for them. Maybe the same could be applied in your situation ??

 

[kuntrygurl_26]

It is understood that we expect you to dress appropriatly and not like you are fixing to go to a club. However if someone new shows up at your youth group and they are wearing something you consider inappropriate and you say something then they may never come back. Just think twice before saying something to people about how they dress. Instead teach it in you youth lessons. You can teach and teach but it is up to them to follow! If you come off like you think you are better than them then they will never come to you for anything!

 

[rookiemum]

We do teach on modesty about once a year, maybe we need to do it more often.

Also have a rack of (ugly ) clothes people are supposed to put on if they come dressed inappropriatly. I like the idea of the bright colored tee-shirts, it shouldn't be a punishment, just "hey that really isn't appropriate for here, you can have one these tee-shirts to wear."

I don't expect visitors (who haven't been involved in church) to know any better. Its more of a concern with the young people who have been coming for awhile.

Thanks for the ideas!

 

[writer4him]

In the youth group that I'm a part of we don't have much of a problem. We do have some tee-shirts that are just extra form past youth events, that areaometimes used for this type of problem. On trips it's a lot stricter becasue we are somewhere else representing God, our church, and our families, so we are expected to dress even more modestly. no tank tops and the finger rule for skirts and shorts. Even for guys no t-shirts with the sleeve cut and a big gaping whole down there side, that's just not pleasant.

 

[KitsapGirl]

We do teach on modesty about once a year, maybe we need to do it more often.

Also have a rack of (ugly ) clothes people are supposed to put on if they come dressed inappropriatly. I like the idea of the bright colored tee-shirts, it shouldn't be a punishment, just "hey that really isn't appropriate for here, you can have one these tee-shirts to wear."

I don't expect visitors (who haven't been involved in church) to know any better. Its more of a concern with the young people who have been coming for awhile.

Thanks for the ideas!

We use the same rack of ugly clothes!!! New people aren't expected to comply - unless their clothing is revealing.

Our code is a common sense code...If we can see your underwear, bras, briefs, boxers, "Whale Tail" etc - If we can see your butt cheeks, or you're spilling out of your top, you WILL be given a piece of clothing to cover yourself.

We've not had a problem with second time offenders. They get the picture...but it's explained to them in a logical, loving manner - no skirting the issues.

I've found that when you leven with pre-adults they will usually respect you for it.

 

[shaslove]

I would like to hear from youth leaders and also some young people-

Should youth groups have a dress code? If you have one in your group what is it and how do you enforce it? Do you have different rules for for an outreach night/event (when you have visitors who are not Christians)?

I'm wondering how other groups handle this issue.

Thanks!!

Every youth group is different...the main thing that I have seen that is the same is a risque factor for girls...making girls wear a tee-shirt over thier shirt if their shirt is too low...other than that no.

 

[heymikey80]

I would like to hear from youth leaders and also some young people-

Should youth groups have a dress code? If you have one in your group what is it and how do you enforce it? Do you have different rules for for an outreach night/event (when you have visitors who are not Christians)?

I'm wondering how other groups handle this issue.

Thanks!!

We haven't had a serious problem with this. However the problem's been changing. It's been interesting how the kids have changed massively in their thinking and appearance ... because we've been going through the Ten Commandments and how they apply through Jesus' teaching (to the Spirit and heart).

Some kids who just didn't know have now zoomed into not only knowing, but doing something about their appearance and their love for one another.

I guess I always expected legalism to be a result of the Law. But it isn't. It isn't. Not when the heart of the Law -- the heart of God for us -- is constantly being shown and emphasized.

My hat's off to our current youth leader.

 

[YeshuaTourniquet]

yes and no, there isn't a written in stone type of dress code but it is considered apropriate to dress in some form of modesty. since our congregation is small (i'm volunteraly serving as youth pastor, since we can't really afford one) we really don't have much of a problem with that, but same as others have said, if someone comes in and it's their first time i really woulden't say anything unless it persists, if the person has been attending for a while and is a repeat offender i will take them to the side and in a NICE way speak to them about modesty, or if it's a girl, my wife will in that case

i want to say tho, that ONLY applies to modesty, if someone wants to come to our youth group and just happens to look or be diffrent, that's not discouraged

 

[OnceDust]

I have not encountered a dress code in European churches. In the Orthodox church, it is understood that you do NOT enter the church in shorts or sleeveless shirts. This goes for men and women. There's not really a youth group in this church.

In protestant churches, I've rarely seen a problem with what people wear. It's nothing out of the ordinary, but American fashion is rather conservative to European fashion. What kids are more or less desensitized to over here may not be appropriate in your situation.

Blessings

 

[ImperialPhantom]

I think youth groups should accept people as they are, and show them that it's about Jesus first and foremost. That's what Jesus did, after all.

 

[shaslove]

I think youth groups should accept people as they are, and show them that it's about Jesus first and foremost. That's what Jesus did, after all.

However, we are supposed to act differently. How is a young man, say age 15, going to concentrate on the service if the girl accross from him is wearing a low-cut blouse that shows her breasts?

 

[underthesouthercross]

Nope we dont have a dress code...just rock up..with whatever on..i think its a bit too religious to have adress code...
if your a leader you should know what is the best thing to wear that wont be a bad example for your kids...and your fellow leader in that case.

 

[asianchexmix]

I was listening to Casting Crowns newest CD (this is a plug but go get it if you haven't...it's amazing!) and one HUGE lyric line was "God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt" which is SOOOO true but we sometimes forget that. We tell them "NO LOW CUT TOPS, NO SHORT SHORTS...IF THAT DRESS IS SHORTER THAN YOUR FINGERTIPS WHEN YOUR HANDS ARE TO YOUR SIDE THEN ITS TOO SHORT" but we forget to tell them the WHY we shouldn't wear clothing revealing. Administering a dress code is good but we may need to remember the WHY we implement a dress code.

 

[Berniquen]

Inappropriate dress is dealt with on an individual basis in our youth group (always addressed by a member of the same gender.) -- There is no formal policy, just basic common sense. (Different clothes appear different on various body types afterall and really depends on how the clothes are worn.)

The only exception is swim-wear. (Students pretty much live in a swimsuit our entire summer camp -- and we had a lot of girls revealing areas unintentionally! -- Even when wearing a one piece!) -- The policy we have is that girls must wear a modest one-piece bathing suit and then wear boardshorts over it at all times.

Boys of course wouldn't be permitted to wear speedoes but that rarely is an issue.