I'm so depressed lately, I don't have any friends and no one likes me, so I have no one to talk to. I was hoping maybe if I posted here I can get some response from someone, because I honestly feel like killing myself. I just wanted to let someone out there know even if it's just on some anonymous message boards.
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I think the reason is because I have no personality, no creativity, don't dress or act cool, stutter and say wierd things, and just am a generally unliikeable person unfortunately. One thing that is nice about killing yourself (not to be morbid), is you don't have to deal with your problems anymore. All I would have to do to solve everything is unbuckle my seatbelt, drive on to the freeway and go head first full speed into an 18 wheeler and problem f*cking solved (amazing how easy it is). No one would miss me because no one really knows me. In fact, the people at work would probably be glad I'm gone. In fact there's a million ways to go, if I just had the balls to do it. Problem is I'm too much of a p*ssy to go through with it. wanted to do it for years but I'm too weak. That's known as failing at failing.
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If you guys want to insult me too that's fine, I want someone to treat me like crap right now. Anything is better than nothing. I've wanted to kill myself for years, ever since junior high, but never had the guts to do it. My whole life has been living as if I should have killed myself, living like I don't care, can't take care of myself, can't do things right, it's like I just gave up at some point and killed myself on the inside. When it started I would pull knives out of the drawers and threaten my parents with doing it right then and there, but after a few times they didn't care anymore, they knew I was full of sh*t and wouldn't do it, and I guess I am cause I'm still here, but I really want to deep down.
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atp694u
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Hey Brother, Well lets not get to much into suicide. First i want to introduce myself. My name is cesar and i am 20 years old. I have become a christian do to my Girl friend. I am currently in the military and i live up in FOrt Drum New York. The Life that god has giving me is more then anything i could of ever asked for. Now lets get into you. Tell me alittle bit about your self. Age?...Religion?...things you like to do and if you dont mind...tell me alittle bit about your family. I want to be open minded and would love for you to be open minded with me and as far as i can see you dont seem to have a problem with that. PLease just go ahead and PM me so that we cant talk about a few of your problems. If you are not a christian please just alow me the oportunnity to show you a few things about a christian. Please PM as soon as possible. I will be waiting for your meassege. Take care of your self and please reply before thinking of doing anything!!!GOD BLESS YOU BROTHER!!!!
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How do you PM? I'm a christian but I guess not a very strong one. That's part of the problem, I can't relate to other christians because I'm not as strong as them, but I can't relate to other people because I'm used to being raised in the church, so I don't really fit in anywhere. Sorry for coming off like such a f*cking [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth], I just need to express myself to someone.
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- Aug 23, 2007
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I feel the same way as you do; all the time. I go thru the motions of everyday life but I can't enjoy any of it. Everywhere I go, I feel like I'm the only one who is not accompanied by someone; it gets me feeling heavy in the chest (figuratively)
I can't get a job if my life depended on it; I only have one friend but I feel disconnected from her somehow, in a way that is hard to explain. I have this guy that does not like me back, who I haven't seen in 9 months but my heart aches for him so bad and I can't do anything about it.
It makes me want to eat more too; and that bothers me.
I can't get a job if my life depended on it; I only have one friend but I feel disconnected from her somehow, in a way that is hard to explain. I have this guy that does not like me back, who I haven't seen in 9 months but my heart aches for him so bad and I can't do anything about it.
It makes me want to eat more too; and that bothers me.
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Thanks for the advice guys. You have so much more personality than me, I think that's the bottom line, people just don't like boring people, so they're religated to a life of isolation. For example, I don't have any friends whatsoever and have never had a girlfriend, been on a date, or even held hands with a girl.
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