Don't want to be one of those Christians but...

[MichaelDB]

Anybody, including civilians, can go out and buy a stun gun.

Yeah, she wanted the yellow one that looks like a pistol the cops have. Don't worry we are not helping her or even getting involved

 

[discipler7]

Also concerning her being my boss. .. it turns out that my girlfriend is really good friends with our boss (the Muslim lady I talked about) and she advised her that Ava is not ready to manage another engineer who is almost 10 years her senior. So I was moved out of engineering and am a Senior Project Manager now. They hired Ava 2 junior engineers to do with as she pleases but I was given project management responsibilities over her projects.

Ava should have a gun to protect herself from others and herself. Does she own a gun.? I believe it is quite easy to buy a gun and 'carry & conceal' in some parts of USA.

I think you should also be grateful/thankful to Ava for getting you a nice Churchy gf, who in turn got you a nice promotion over Ava. God is good.
....... So, you should be nice or cordial to her.(God/Jesus is watching ...).

Bear in mind that Ava is a talented, good, effective and productive manager+engineer. Maybe, even better than you, wrt being a manager. Her main drawback is her sinful/hedonist and lazy/unkempt private lifestyle, which is actually none of anybody else's business.

AFAIK, management positions require more people/social skills, rather than engineering or machining or scientific skills. Handling people, eg subordinates or superiors or customers or liaisons or sub-cons or suppliers or shippers, is no joke or not easy because every person's character and surrounding are different.

For men/boys, such management and social/people skills are usually inherited or born-with, eg extroverts, sociable, optimists, confidence, pleasant looks, etc.
....... Eve/women/girls are natural-born managers because they were created by God to be home-managers. Adam/men/boys were created by God to earn a living for the home/family, eg by farming, rearing, hunting, fishing, etc = natural-born farmers/fishermen/engineers/technicians/scientists/surgeons/etc.

 

[Tayla]

truly are some behaviors (i.e. drunkeness, promiscuity, over indulgence in food, drug use) that are dangerous, moral argument asside are self destructive and physically/physiologically harmful

There are a lot more things we should avoid than those you mention. I my view, we should keep our mind clear of evil and sin and, therefore, should avoid the following:

1. Movies, TV.
2. Most music having lyrics. Performed music with suggestive dancing.
3. Fiction having bad characters or bad behaviors (in other words, all fiction).
4. Most news headlines and even church discussions having gossip of others, and slandering their reputation.

I don't think I'm holier than anyone else; I just don't want all this junk from our depraved society and culture rattling around in my mind, interfering with my meditation and prayer of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit.

 

[Radagast]

Also concerning her being my boss. .. it turns out that my girlfriend is really good friends with our boss (the Muslim lady I talked about) and she advised her that Ava is not ready to manage another engineer who is almost 10 years her senior. So I was moved out of engineering and am a Senior Project Manager now.

Delightfully informal HR processes your company seems to have.

 

[MichaelDB]

Delightfully informal HR processes your company seems to have.

Have you ever worked in a small company in the oil and gas field? It's practically an "old boys club" I guess in this case an "old girls club". I remember at my interview the woman who hired me told me "here we like to take a relaxed attitude towards work". I thought she meant we could wear jeans in the office and that it was OK to come in a little late or leave a little early. I had absolutely no idea that this place is practically a summer camp that pays you to attend. I guess this would be considered a paradise for some people but not me. I believe that we are called to work hard and honor God in everything we do, yeah I fall short like everyone else but I desire to strive for that.

 

[Radagast]

It's practically an "old boys club" I guess in this case an "old girls club".

And the downside of that is if someone dislikes you, there's not much procedural fairness.

 

[MichaelDB]

And the downside of that is if someone dislikes you, there's not much procedural fairness.

I cannot agree more. That's why before I started dating my girlfriend who is very close to my boss, I was the redheaded stepchild. My coworker was for all intents and purposes insane but that was OK. She could do no wrong and I was just a "downer" who was too serious. Despite her eratic behavior she was named engineering manager because the boss liked her. When I started dating my girlfriend the boss promptly moved me out from under my coworker turned engineering manager and made me lead project manager. So I am not going to say I didn't benefit from this situation but I was at one point on the receiving end of the unfairness. This is why I plan to run my department more formally. I will plan to enforce a certain level of work ethic and not allow my department to be an "old boys club".
I can't say that's how my Co worker is running her department though. She was allowed to hire 2 junior engineer EITs and both of them seem to be picking up on her let's say "eccentricities". She hired one young guy and another young girl. The girl is pretty decent and seems to want to work and grow in her role. So she had been coming to be for engineering guidance since I am a PE too and my coworker doesn't seem interested in mentoring. The boy however has seemed to realize that he can get away with anything he wants if he strokes her ego. So he pretty much does zero useful work. He had learned that as long as he validates my co worker when she screams and rants and just stands there and takes her abusive tirades she is quick to give benefits (allowing him to leave early, allowing him to bring his dog to work, letting his girlfriend hang out at the office, taking him and his girlfriend to lunch every day, etc) once she cools off.

 

[Radagast]

I cannot agree more.

So far you've come through a potentially bad situation quite well. I would keep "Plan B" in my mind though, if I was you.

 

[discipler7]

So he pretty much does zero useful work.

In this case, he likely won't last long because most companies/bosses value results/performance and the bottomline/profits. The freedom given to her underlings by your co-worker should not be abused.

GALATIANS.5:13 = 13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
(Gentile Christians' liberty from all the burdensome laws of Moses, eg circumcision and kosher foods, should not be abused for the satisfaction of the flesh, eg food gluttony - ACTS.15:24-29.)

 

[MichaelDB]

In this case, he likely won't last long because most companies/bosses value results/performance and the bottomline/profits. The freedom given to her underlings by your co-worker should not be abused.

GALATIANS.5:13 = 13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
(Gentile Christians' liberty from all the burdensome laws of Moses, eg circumcision and kosher foods, should not be abused for the satisfaction of the flesh, eg food gluttony - ACTS.15:24-29.)

I am staying out of her business, I am respecting that she has her department and it is hers to run as she chooses. And with that she is the one responsible for her subordinates. I won't run mind the way she runs hers. I don't think it is correct and I don't think it is fair butit is not my place to get involved.
I am pretty sure the loose work ethic which she allows will come back to bite her. I feel bad for the other young engineer in her charge because she seems to want to work hard and do what's right. But believe me it is frustrating to watch my coworker run her department like a personal feifdom. Just today when I needed her signature on a design plan I saw her sleeping on a sofa in her office while her young male engineer was sitting at her desk doing one of those online defensive driving courses. He told me that she told him to "take care of her course for her while she caught some shut eye" when I told him to wake her up because she needs to stamp something he told me that she said she was not to be disturbed and that I need to come back later.

 

[MichaelDB]

In this case, he likely won't last long because most companies/bosses value results/performance and the bottomline/profits. The freedom given to her underlings by your co-worker should not be abused.

GALATIANS.5:13 = 13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
(Gentile Christians' liberty from all the burdensome laws of Moses, eg circumcision and kosher foods, should not be abused for the satisfaction of the flesh, eg food gluttony - ACTS.15:24-29.)

I totally agree, but I do think that much of the responsibility lays with my Co worker and how she chooses to manage. I can only blame that young man for his personal lack of work ethic. But in truth it is not my concern, she has her department to manage and I have mine, if she chooses to allow that type of shoddy work ethic she will be answerable if anything happens. I feel bad for the other engineer, the girl, because she seems to want to work hard and grow as an engineer butfrom what I see she isn't being given the proper guidance or structure.
For example today, the girl EIT came to me with a design plan that she said a rig manager needed signed right away. I told her that although I am a PE the proper chain of command is that she needs my Co worker Ava to sign it since she is Engineering manager. We went to her office and found that she was asleep on her couch and her other EIT, the young boy, was there on her computer doing an online defensive driving class for her. He told us that "Missy Ava, was resting" and told him to do her defensive driving course for her and that we cannot disturbe her. He then pushed us out and closed the door.

 

[discipler7]

For example today, the girl EIT came to me with a design plan that she said a rig manager needed signed right away. I told her that although I am a PE the proper chain of command is that she needs my Co worker Ava to sign it since she is Engineering manager. We went to her office and found that she was asleep on her couch and her other EIT, the young boy, was there on her computer doing an online defensive driving class for her. He told us that "Missy Ava, was resting" and told him to do her defensive driving course for her and that we cannot disturbe her. He then pushed us out and closed the door.

.
Seems, Ava has recruited the male EIT more as her personal assistant cum bodyguard and recruited the female EIT as her engineering work-horse. If so, you and your gf can have less worries about Ava being physically attacked or sexually harassed by big angry men, eg oil rig managers, spurned lovers, etc.

It's common sense that the EITs should not disturb their manager's(= Ava) sleep/nap unless it is an emergency = work smart = 'you shall "love" your manager/boss and not disturb his/her sleep/nap'. It's not always necessary to work hard in the office.
....... Of course, those at work should not be sleeping/napping but if the CEO is napping/sleeping in the office, it is wise or smart not to disturb him/her. Subordinates should respect the chain of command/authority.

The Christians' "manager/boss/CEO" is their Lord/God Jesus Christ, also called the Word. ...

LUKE.9:28-36 = Jesus Transfigured on the Mount
28 Now it came to pass, about eight days after these sayings, that He took Peter, John, and James and went up on the mountain to pray. 29 As He prayed, the appearance of His face was altered, and His robe became white and glistening. 30 And behold, two men talked with Him, who were Moses and Elijah, 31 who appeared in glory and spoke of His decease which He was about to accomplish at Jerusalem. 32 But Peter and those with him were heavy with sleep; and when they were fully awake, they saw His glory and the two men who stood with Him. 33 Then it happened, as they were parting from Him, that Peter said to Jesus, “Master, it is good for us to be here; and let us make three tabernacles: one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah”—not knowing what he said.

34 While he was saying this, a cloud came and overshadowed them; and they were fearful as they entered the cloud. 35 And a voice came out of the cloud, saying, “This is My beloved Son. Hear Him!” 36 When the voice had ceased, Jesus was found alone. But they kept quiet, and told no one in those days any of the things they had seen.