Don't Want Kids

puppetmaster · Aug 28, 2010

Nope, not interested in having any children, but I enjoy other peeps childrens

Ready for the World · Aug 29, 2010

I want lots and lots of children. maybe 5-6 lol. nothing wrong if a person doesnt want any either.

Cynthia85 · Aug 30, 2010

Umaro said:
Here's a question for you all. When researching getting snipped, one of the most common things I heard was "shouldn't your future spouse get a say in the matter?" My inclination is "of course not," but what do you all think?

Uh... no.

If you're single and know you don't want kids, then that's your decision and no one else. And if someone knows they don't want kids, they'll probably look for a spouse who also doesn't want kids.

As for me and my hubby, when we were engaged, we talked about having a ton of kids. But now, we don't want any. I'm happy with my family the way it is (well, was... we had a cat who was our baby, but we had to put him to sleep. We're currently looking for another cat so our family can be complete again).

SwissMiss · Sep 2, 2010

QuadShotofFaith said:
In my opinion, doesn't matter if you want kids or not, but our goal in life should be to bring others to Christ. Whether it be raising children up to be Christians, one way or another (parenting, teaching, adopting, etc), or through evangelism, ministry, missionary work etc etc. I love the idea of adopting unfortunate children, and bringing them up in God's love, though.

Awwww I agree that all Christians' most important goal in life should be to share the gospel with others. Of course, people with different faiths and ideas will not be able to understand that. I commend you for sharing your opinions on this, even though you will more than likely be put down for it around here if your opinions are too Biblical. Who would have thought that on a Christian forum, that would happen, huh? But I agree with you, and *earnestly* respect you for sharing this GBU

ponderingnwandering · Sep 2, 2010

Something bothers me about your post Ms. Trashionista. Correct me if i'm reading your post wrong, but you also have to think of it like this. That kid has lost everything, they're alone in this world, or if they have someone left that person doesn't want to deal with said orphan. They are looking for some sort of stability in life, albeit may not be in the form of another person to come and raise them.

At that point, its your job as adoptive parent to teach that kid, your kid now, how to live in the world and even what you may view. If they disagree, talk with them about it(assuming they're old enough to question your faith versus theirs). I actually kind of get where you are coming from, who are we to shove down our beliefs upon another couple's child?

Think of it like this though, if you don't teach that kid your beliefs, someone else will teach them theirs. Whether anyone likes it or not, we are exposed to many different views about life and many different religions. Society really doesn't care about your heritage or your views, they'll just say they are all valid choices to try and keep things gray and neutral. Obviously as a Christian, I believe that God exists and that Jesus was His son and that he died on the cross for our sins and rose from the dead. If i adopted a kid and did not try to teach them about God, i feel like i would be failing them as a parent and as a child of God.

And what's this about Christians being little robots? We are fully capable of making our own choices, as we have been given free will. Now if you'll excuse me, i need to go recharge my batteries, im feeling pretty tired.

Trashionista · Sep 2, 2010

ponderingnwandering said:
Think of it like this though, if you don't teach that kid your beliefs, someone else will teach them theirs. Whether anyone likes it or not, we are exposed to many different views about life and many different religions. Society really doesn't care about your heritage or your views, they'll just say they are all valid choices to try and keep things gray and neutral. Obviously as a Christian, I believe that God exists and that Jesus was His son and that he died on the cross for our sins and rose from the dead. If i adopted a kid and did not try to teach them about God, i feel like i would be failing them as a parent and as a child of God.

Because adopting a kid - especially a foreign kid - with the intention of just evangelizing them into little Christians smacks of imperialism.

It may not have been the poster's point or intention, but it did come off that way. I think the implication would be obvious - Westerner 'saves' poor non-Western kid's soul, again smacking of a creepy White Man's Burden situation on a less-wide scale -<staff edit>

You can't make a future with your religious beliefs. Education? Yes. Faith? Not so much; unless one's goal is to enter a seminary. The point of parenting is to socialize a kid into general society as a functioning and contributing member of it; simply teaching them about Jesus will not accomplish that.

ponderingnwandering · Sep 2, 2010

Realism sucks if you ask me. Everything's so dull and trite

Ahem......sorry. I actually will agree with you though, adopting a kid JUST(key word, just) to turn them into a Christian because its your duty or whatever is not a good thing. However, you have to consider than many Christians who do adopt, may actually genuinely want to provide for that kid and love them.

As for your reply, i'm sure you didn't mean it like this, but that is not my only intention when it comes to having kids. Sure i'm rough around the edges, but i'm actually a softie around little kids, no matter how much i'd like to strangle them most of the time when they annoy me .

Honestly though, couldn't i turn your own argument against you just as easily? Why are you lecturing me about how i would want to raise my kids, adopted or not? It's not like we're telling our kids to avoid society.....have you heard of the saying in the world, not of the world? It means to go out into the world to reach out to those who don't know God, but not to become like the ones, to be blunt, who are living in sin. it actually requires us to try and love those people despite how much we may disagree with or even dislike them. Are you suggesting for us to conform our beliefs to what society deems acceptable? Isn't that the same thing you're accusing Christians when you say we're raising robots?

And for the record, i'm native american. My skin is white, but it would be racist to call me as such. Do not burden me with your white man talk. ;D (note, i am not playing the race card.)

P.S. do not take what i'm saying as insults or what not. i really am just trying to figure out where you stand. please understand where i stand though. thanks.

armyman_83 · Sep 9, 2010

I would never marry someone who didn't want kids, but that is just me. I have a duty to my family name, being the only son. It is a personal choice, but I would not marry someone who didn't want to have children.

april_eric_always_forever · Sep 16, 2010

My hubby and I don't intend on having any and we've been married 5 years. I think it's up to the individuals /couples and God to decide what is really best for their unique situation. I think God has a plan for each of us and they aren't all the same. There are different reasons why people may not have children or have them, but in the end if it's God's plan for them why should it matter to anyone else.

nesian · Sep 17, 2010

Personally, I think you'd be missing out on the chance to pass on your genes and discover the joy in raising children. Maybe even living to see your grandchildren etc
But that's just me.
There's nothing wrong with not procreating

straywolf73 · Sep 20, 2010

This probably the most understanding forum I have ever found.
As someone who has never enjoyed childrn, or played with dolls, etc. I am constantly berated for not wanting kids.
Especially from my family, their guilt is the worst....im an only child so my mother is very saddened that she will most likely never have a grandchild.
and while i never rule out a change in heart, I do doubt it

P.S sorry I was gone so long...

Cynthia85 · Sep 20, 2010

straywolf73 said:
This probably the most understanding forum I have ever found.
As someone who has never enjoyed childrn, or played with dolls, etc. I am constantly berated for not wanting kids.
Especially from my family, their guilt is the worst....im an only child so my mother is very saddened that she will most likely never have a grandchild.
and while i never rule out a change in heart, I do doubt it

P.S sorry I was gone so long...

My father told me that he was waiting for "the call" nine months after I got married. In my situation, though, my father didn't raise me, my grandparents did. So he has no idea what it's like to raise children.

NotTooImportant · Sep 20, 2010

I'd never want children.

Umaro · Sep 23, 2010

Well, I just made an appointment for next week to get a Vasectomy consultation, so unless anyone offers some strong arguments, I'm on the path. I found it amusing that the women told me "remember to bring your wife" without even asking if I'm married. I'm single...

SwissMiss · Sep 23, 2010

what kind of arguments are you expecting? Lol I'm not going to argue with you on that, but I'm just curious...

Umaro · Sep 24, 2010

SwissMiss said:
what kind of arguments are you expecting? Lol I'm not going to argue with you on that, but I'm just curious...

Just using rhetoric, I don't actually expect anything.

no_one_of_onsequence · Sep 25, 2010

soccrchick5 said:
Is there anyone else that doesn't want children..ever? Is that wrong? I don't think it is, but I would love to hear other opinions.

haha, every time on a bus... i am reminded why my fiancé and i do not want kids...

dont get me wrong, i love kids...
but i also love being able to give them back...

that said i am keen to hang in cambodia with a mate who has started an orphanage.

SwissMiss · Sep 25, 2010

no_one_of_onsequence said:
dont get me wrong, i love kids...
but i also love being able to give them back...

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY lol

poeticlurker · Sep 25, 2010

...I feel the same way actually. I don't want kids either, even though there are certain names I refuse to use in a story because I don't want my kids having the same names as my characters.

I think my life can be meaningful without overcrowding the planet more, really.

SwissMiss · Sep 26, 2010

....OK I didn't get that part about the story...but I agree with you about not overcrowding the planet

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