• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

  2. The forums in the Christian Congregations category are now open only to Christian members. Please review our current Faith Groups list for information on which faith groups are considered to be Christian faiths. Christian members please remember to read the Statement of Purpose threads for each forum within Christian Congregations before posting in the forum.
  3. Please note there is a new rule regarding the posting of videos. It reads, "Post a summary of the videos you post . An exception can be made for music videos.". Unless you are simply sharing music, please post a summary, or the gist, of the video you wish to share.
  4. There have been some changes in the Life Stages section involving the following forums: Roaring 20s, Terrific Thirties, Fabulous Forties, and Golden Eagles. They are changed to Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and Golden Eagles will have a slight change.
  5. CF Staff, Angels and Ambassadors; ask that you join us in praying for the world in this difficult time, asking our Holy Father to stop the spread of the virus, and for healing of all affected.

Don't mean to cause a stir... not really...

Discussion in 'Questions by Non-Christians (Archived)' started by Memory's Flame, Mar 11, 2003.

  1. Memory's Flame

    Memory's Flame Smile <img src="http://www3.christianforums.com/im

    619
    +7
    Lutheran
    I am walking a line between committing my life to God, and leaving him alltogether. But I need a few questions answered. :help:

    I am 20 years old and I live in an apartment with my boyfriend. This move took a lot of thought (3 years of a long distance relationship) and I decided that at this point that was the best option for our relationship.

    Living with him has brought on several wonderful new experiances in my life. One of which is the want/need for faith. I had strayed from Christianity long ago, feeling that the people in my church were to closed minded and unaccepting.

    I now have the urge to come back to Christ; but if he is going to shun me for "Living in Sin" with my boyfriend, whom I love dearly, then this is not for me...

    &nbsp;

    :help:
     
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. speechless

    speechless Regular Member

    125
    +0
    Christian
    Single
    Don't listen to anyone. Whatever is good for you is ultimately the right thing, so to speak. Do whatever is right for you :)
     
  3. Holyjoe

    Holyjoe Repairer of Broken Walls

    +59
    Christian
    I wouldn't necessarily say 'do what seems right to you', cos we can get things wrongs sometimes - but coming back to Christ is definately a good idea!!! I recommend it completely! It says in James I think that if we draw near to God he will draw near to us....so if u come back to him he's not gonna 'shun' you away. we've all done many 'sins' and had to come to God perhaps at our lowest point, but God accepts us and gives us grace and much love to overcome this, and he will welcome you back in his arms with Joy...kinda like the prodigal son's dad.

    I'm not saying it will be easy, cos God might wanna sort some things out to make ur life righteous, so getting convicted and having a rough time often follows, but whatever God's plan, it is a perfect purpose for your life that will bring joy and salvation forever more
     
  4. seebs

    seebs God Made Me A Skeptic

    +1,463
    Seeker
    Married
    US-Republican
    Christ won't shun you, ever. He may complain that you're not doing what He wants, but He won't shun you, no matter what you do, or have done, or anything.
     
  5. Holyjoe

    Holyjoe Repairer of Broken Walls

    +59
    Christian
    I wouldn't even say God complains...when he sees us doing wrong his heart yurns for us to do what his right, so he will convict us by his Holy Spirit to urge us into doing right....cos doing right will help us out and edify our lives. He's not a God of rules, he's a God of Love and his always ready and always wanting to Forgive, we just have to ask him and surrender to him - his grace and mercy knows no bounds

    ;)
     
  6. Reformationist

    Reformationist Non nobis domine sed tuo nomine da gloriam

    +412
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    &nbsp;:scratch: :confused: :confused:

    JacqueB, if you make God a central figure in your relationship then the conviction, as Holyjoe commented on, will not enable you to be at peace with just living with your boyfriend as husband and wife.&nbsp; I lived with my girlfriend, now my wife, for a year before we were married.&nbsp; I had asked her to marry me but we were not married.&nbsp; I was scheduled to be married six months after we did get married.&nbsp; One day we were driving around looking at houses to buy and I turned to my girlfriend and I said, "Do you want to go get married next weekend?"&nbsp; She looked at me with a profound sense of relief because she, too, had been feeling convicted and wanted to obey God.&nbsp; It caused many hurt feelings when we eloped, especially my mom who wanted this big wedding where they could all be there.&nbsp; Now, I would not advise eloping because I admit, it was selfish of me not to make sure they were included, but, I believe that the issue rested with the authority of God and I could not, in good conscience, continue to live in a manner unpleasing to God.&nbsp; So, my advice is, don't steer clear of what you know to be the Truth just because it will cause you some discomfort.&nbsp; It's supposed to cause you discomfort.&nbsp; Granted, the other church members should strive to be encouraging rather than trying to condemn you but make no mistake, living in a relationship, no matter how good it feels, that is not sanctioned by the Almighty is sinful.&nbsp; If you ever feel guilty of living as husband and wife while not officially entering into that covenant then rejoice.&nbsp; You're supposed to feel guilty when you break God's law.&nbsp; He has written His truth on your heart and He is convicting you of this so that you will change it.

    If you love your boyfriend seek some biblically based marital counseling and get married.&nbsp; Don't ignore God's still, small voice.

    God bless,

    Don
     
  7. Reformationist

    Reformationist Non nobis domine sed tuo nomine da gloriam

    +412
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    God is most definitely a God of rules.&nbsp; We have 2000 pages of rules.&nbsp; But, His rules are for our good and motivated by His love for us, but we do have rules and those rules are from God.

    God bless
     
  8. dnich163

    dnich163 dnich163

    520
    +7
    Catholic
    For me the more important thing is to love, if you are returning to God then there is an element of repentance in this act, and this is what Jesus asks us to do.

    One of the posts said "to do what was right for you."
    This would not be correct as we have to take into consideration what is the common good also, and include "the other" in our decisions.

    Good luck anyway,

    David
     
  9. JillLars

    JillLars It's a Boy! Jace David- Due 1/20/07

    +108
    Lutheran
    Single
    I live with my boyfriend too, I also have recently come back to christianity. It sounds like we have quite a bit in common. This is something that I as well have struggled with. My boyfriend and I are ready to get married but don't have the money to have the wedding we would like to have. Our parents would also like for us to finish college first. I prayed a lot about this and determined that my boyfriend and I love each other and plan on spending the rest of our lives together. I think that God knows our hearts and knows that a marriage certificate isn't the most important thing. I don't think I'm wrong about it, but if I am, I trust that God will forgive me. I suggest you pray about it, and ask God what's most important to him. I hope you can continue to grow in your relationship w/ Christ like I have, if you ever want to chat just pm me :)
     
  10. Follower of Christ

    Follower of Christ Literal 6 Day Creationist<br />''An Evening and a

    +94
    Christian
    "I now have the urge to come back to Christ; but if he is going to shun me for "Living in Sin" with my boyfriend, whom I love dearly, then this is not for me... "


    FOC:
    It seems you already know the answer to your turmoil.
    Look to understand "fornication" in your bible.
    Are you willing to hand over your eternity for a few years?

    You sound as if you already know the right thing to do.

    I read the first response this post got and i am NOT impressed with the total disregard for Gods Rules in that response.

    God loves you, much more than any man will.
    If He is calling you can rest assured it will snuffed out by your choice to live with a man who is not your husband.
     
  11. mixaleena

    mixaleena Regular Member

    220
    +2
    Christian
    You either obey God or you don't. There is no in-between. There is no 'do what you feel is right' There is do what God says is right or face the consequences. Period.

    You can make light of God now. But wait. Wait until you are standing before Him.

    EVERY knee will bow, and EVERY tongue confess. If you deny Christ, you will be denied in front of God. Are you really that willing to sacrifice your eternity for a few years of getting what you want?
     
  12. Memory's Flame

    Memory's Flame Smile <img src="http://www3.christianforums.com/im

    619
    +7
    Lutheran
    Mixa, I am sorry to say this and mean not to offend you but people who think like that, who condemn me for this are the people who make me not want anything to do with God.

    I talked this over with a pastor whom I am close to, and he a said to follow my heart. I did that, and am where I am.

    I wasn't asking if I was right or wrong. I know most of you think that I am wrong in my actions... but I am not.

    I was asking for how you see this, not if I'm going to hell. I was asking what your opinions are (with an open mind) not to be ****** (with a closed one!)
     
  13. Wildfire

    Wildfire Member

    454
    +1
    My feelings are this: if you feel a strong need to turn back to God, then by all means, surrender yourself. It will be the best thig you will ever do, trust me. Ask for the holy spirit to come and dwell with you, this is a REAL spirit, that you can recieve, a gift from Jesus when he departed this world.
    Do you enjoy reading the bible? I do; and my favorite chapter is the book of John, it is filled with great love, and promise for our future.
    (check it out) :)

    I am not certain if you mentioned whether or not your boyfriend was also leaning towards God; are you seperate in your beliefs? Will he respect your choices in this matter? Does he love you enough to put an end to your conflicting feelings of living together, by giving you a promise of marriage?
    And is living with him the only choice that you have right now... do you have a family home you can return to, if needed?

    God is the definition of love. There would be no world without Him. We would not be alive, if his patience were not so strong. Jesus Christ was his mouth for speaking, His WORD. When you read his words in the New Testiment, you are communicating directly with God. And Jesus told us to Love one another; that was the greatest commandment he gave us.

    Noone should condemn you; we are all imperfect. It is important that if you are not happy with your current siguation, then there is a need for change. I think you already know the answer, because you are striving towards it.

    I wish you peace and love;
    Wildfire
     
  14. Follower of Christ

    Follower of Christ Literal 6 Day Creationist<br />''An Evening and a

    +94
    Christian
    "I talked this over with a pastor whom I am close to, and he a said to follow my heart. I did that, and am where I am.
    I wasn't asking if I was right or wrong. I know most of you think that I am wrong in my actions... but I am not. "


    FOC
    The Jews thought and still think they are in Gods will today.
    I ask you to look to the 9th chapter of Romans to see thier current condition.

    As for this pastor, I question his knowledge of Gods word.
    and his convictions as well.
    I always question motivations of those who are not adamant about Gods word.

    We as Christians ALWAYS make mistakes, it is to be expected.

    But intentional, uncaring disobedience is another thing.

    We love you as christians are supposed to. That doesnt change.

    And if we try to give you scriptural advice, it isnt in judgment, it is done in love and concern.
    We are trying to watch your back, as we would hope you would do for us in our weakness.
     
  15. mixaleena

    mixaleena Regular Member

    220
    +2
    Christian
    Unfortunately JacqueB it is things like you just said that cause Christians to no longer stand up for what they believe in for fear that someone might turn away or that they might offend them. It is not up to me to convert you. Only God can do that. I won't apologize for telling the truth. This is not my truth it is God's truth. If you decide you want nothing to do with Him that has nothing to do with me or anything I said or did. I am truly sorry that you don't want to have anything to do with God if He doesn't let you do what you want but we will all have to give an account for how we live...whether believer or unbeliever. You will go to one place or another. It isn't a game. As a Christian I am saddened that you have chosen your boyfriend over Christ. But I can't change your heart. Only God can.

    What you decide is between you and God. He reserves the right to condemn or forgive you, He made you. Unfortunately forgiveness only comes to a truly repentant heart, one that you have stated you don't have. God will be your judge, not man. I am not here to judge you, only to pray for you. My prayer is that you will reevaluate your view on God and realize who He truly is. Our Lord and our Savior.

    1 Peter 4:16-18&nbsp;
    16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.
    17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?
    18 And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?

    Try to put it in this perspective too, what would you do if your boyfriend rejected you after time...how would you feel?
    You are rejecting God...how do you think He feels, after all He has done for you?

    By the way, I don't condemn you for what you are doing. I know you said what you are doing is not wrong. Let's see what God thinks:
    http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?search=fornication&amp;SearchType=AND&amp;version=KJV&amp;restrict=&amp;StartRestrict=&amp;EndRestrict=&amp;rpp=250&amp;SearchAsLink=yes&amp;language=english&amp;searchpage=0&amp;x=8&amp;y=1

    Please check it out and take it to heart. God loves you and wants the best for you. :) Mixaleena
     
  16. Memory's Flame

    Memory's Flame Smile <img src="http://www3.christianforums.com/im

    619
    +7
    Lutheran
    Mix; Thank you for your reply again!

    I understand what you are saying and commend you for having such strong beliefs in God!! I wish I had such a strong faith!!

    Like I have said; I am building my faith. I was raised Lutheran, but strayed long ago.

    When I made the decision to move in with my boyfriend I talked with my family and my moms pastor and came to terms with the situation..

    I do love to hear other peoples views and I am sorry for the things that I said earlier!

    Thanks again for replying!
     
  17. Francie

    Francie Member

    227
    +1
    JacqueB, please understand I am not saying this to condemn you for living with your boyfriend, But Jesus plainly says sex before marriage is a sin. You won't go to hell for it unless you turn your back on Jesus.When we become christians we are to&nbsp; turn away from our sins . God doesn't expect us to be perfect, but gives us rules to live by. Also as christians we are supposed to look for other christians as mates,&nbsp;( in the bible it talks about not to be unequaly yoked)&nbsp; . PLease pray about what you are doing and ask God to direct you. If I have offended you by these words please forgive me that was not my intention. GOD BLESS :angel:
     
  18. Michael0701

    Michael0701 Harley Ridin' Believer!!

    719
    +6
    Non-Denom
    Married
    US-Republican
    Tough crowd here ........

    I know what you mean by being turned off by some Christians and their quick condemnation, been there, done that. But you have also heard some other points of views here (but please don't buy into that do what ever feels right nonsense). Just remember that the Lord is judgemental and we all will be held accountable for our actions, and in the same breath, (from what I am learning), He is loving and forgiving.
     
  19. Memory's Flame

    Memory's Flame Smile <img src="http://www3.christianforums.com/im

    619
    +7
    Lutheran
    Michael;

    I do know that God is very forgiving and loving and I have spent several hours asking him for forgiveness and to understand my situation. I have felt signs that say he understands, not necisarrily likes, but understands...

    Thank you for your kind words!
     
  20. mixaleena

    mixaleena Regular Member

    220
    +2
    Christian
    Would you be willing to show us that in scripture Jacque, where God understands that you choose to disobey His commandment?
    I am not trying to be offensive, but 'signs' are only truth if they coincide with scripture. I thank you for your above response and appreciate you trying to understand what I am trying to convey. If you could please provide scripture because this topic could eventually (if not now) affect someone else in a similar situation and I would want to make sure that as Christians we are in fact following what God says in His Word. Thanks! ;) Mixee.
     
Loading...