Maybe somebody can give me some advice here, so I can figure out if I am married or not. !
I live in the US. So, I met a gorgeous, handsome, European guy 2 years ago, and we hit it off. It was like he could read my mind and understand me, we had an amazing personality connection and felt natural with each other. We dated almost two months, and Surprise... he proposed to me. I was so shocked he proposed without really knowing me well. I said yes, but my family was even more shocked, and warned me that he could be chasing me to marry me and get his green card through me, instead of marrying me because he loved me. I took the warning and gave him his ring back a couple days later, and he was totally crushed. I felt very bad, and months later started going out with him again... and... he proposed again (!) This time I had gotten to know him better... I loved him and he said he loved me, so I said yes. OK.
Little did I know what happened next. I found out days after the marriage that he had tricked me into marrying him just so he could get his 'green card' so he could stay in the United States. My family's warnings from before were not so silly. A few days after the marriage, he tells me that he married me for the card, and he wants to kick me out of the house because I'm putting relationship pressure on him. But I am shocked and can't move out and leave him because I had comitted to our marriage, and had moved across the state to be with him, and had nobody else I knew who could take me in, since I was new to the area. He eventually relents and we stay 'together' but it is half hearted, and in another few months he gets angry and tells me he is kicking me out, and that the only use he has for me is the green card, that he doesn't love me and never did. That really made my heart break, and he did manage to force me to leave... fortunately I was able to move in with another family. Crazily enough, my heart is still with him. Maybe it's because he abandoned me, and the shock of that won't let me experience real feelings, like hatred of him and dislike of him. I do hate what he did, but I feel like I won't ever give up on him, and want him back.
The odd thing about this situation is that he occasionally does tell me he loves me, and that he often thinks I'm attractive and cute, and pretty, and the whole nine yards... but he doesn't let it go any farther, and if I try to encourage it to go farther, he gets angry and jerks away. He openly tells me he is dating other women, and he encourages me to date other men. I sometimes wonder if he plays it sweet with me just enough so that I don't get upset and report him. Anyway, in his mind, he never married me... it's just a small document in the courthouse that says we're married... he doesn't want anyone else to know, and he doesn't acknowledge that we are or should be together. He wants to be my best friend (so he can keep track of me and make sure I won't report him to the government) but he wants nothing more.
My question is... in God's eyes, am I married or not? Should I feel guilt over going out with other men right now? Should I try to get our "marriage" back together, or should I act as though it never took place? Should I feel terrible when he hints that he's going out with other women, or should I pretend it doesn't hurt me like a knife in the back? Should I keep hoping he will want me some day, or should I get on with my life? I have options right now where a job might be leading me out of state (5 hours away from him) and I don't know if leaving is a good idea or not. Should I relocate with a clear conscious, or should I feel guilty contemplating even thinking of leaving the state where he could easily get back together with me. ???? Would I be damaging our marriage by leaving, or was I simply never married in the first place, as he says.????
Does anyone know any verses from the Bible that could point me in a positive direction? Much thanks!!! -AJ.
I live in the US. So, I met a gorgeous, handsome, European guy 2 years ago, and we hit it off. It was like he could read my mind and understand me, we had an amazing personality connection and felt natural with each other. We dated almost two months, and Surprise... he proposed to me. I was so shocked he proposed without really knowing me well. I said yes, but my family was even more shocked, and warned me that he could be chasing me to marry me and get his green card through me, instead of marrying me because he loved me. I took the warning and gave him his ring back a couple days later, and he was totally crushed. I felt very bad, and months later started going out with him again... and... he proposed again (!) This time I had gotten to know him better... I loved him and he said he loved me, so I said yes. OK.
Little did I know what happened next. I found out days after the marriage that he had tricked me into marrying him just so he could get his 'green card' so he could stay in the United States. My family's warnings from before were not so silly. A few days after the marriage, he tells me that he married me for the card, and he wants to kick me out of the house because I'm putting relationship pressure on him. But I am shocked and can't move out and leave him because I had comitted to our marriage, and had moved across the state to be with him, and had nobody else I knew who could take me in, since I was new to the area. He eventually relents and we stay 'together' but it is half hearted, and in another few months he gets angry and tells me he is kicking me out, and that the only use he has for me is the green card, that he doesn't love me and never did. That really made my heart break, and he did manage to force me to leave... fortunately I was able to move in with another family. Crazily enough, my heart is still with him. Maybe it's because he abandoned me, and the shock of that won't let me experience real feelings, like hatred of him and dislike of him. I do hate what he did, but I feel like I won't ever give up on him, and want him back.
The odd thing about this situation is that he occasionally does tell me he loves me, and that he often thinks I'm attractive and cute, and pretty, and the whole nine yards... but he doesn't let it go any farther, and if I try to encourage it to go farther, he gets angry and jerks away. He openly tells me he is dating other women, and he encourages me to date other men. I sometimes wonder if he plays it sweet with me just enough so that I don't get upset and report him. Anyway, in his mind, he never married me... it's just a small document in the courthouse that says we're married... he doesn't want anyone else to know, and he doesn't acknowledge that we are or should be together. He wants to be my best friend (so he can keep track of me and make sure I won't report him to the government) but he wants nothing more.
My question is... in God's eyes, am I married or not? Should I feel guilt over going out with other men right now? Should I try to get our "marriage" back together, or should I act as though it never took place? Should I feel terrible when he hints that he's going out with other women, or should I pretend it doesn't hurt me like a knife in the back? Should I keep hoping he will want me some day, or should I get on with my life? I have options right now where a job might be leading me out of state (5 hours away from him) and I don't know if leaving is a good idea or not. Should I relocate with a clear conscious, or should I feel guilty contemplating even thinking of leaving the state where he could easily get back together with me. ???? Would I be damaging our marriage by leaving, or was I simply never married in the first place, as he says.????
Does anyone know any verses from the Bible that could point me in a positive direction? Much thanks!!! -AJ.
