Does your husband order for you?

[purplecloth]

Why is it considered good manners for a guy to get the order from his wife or gf and then tell the waiter/waitress both orders?

I'm trying to understand how this became so and what is the meaning behind such actions? Why is this considered polite/good manners?

Is it because women shouldn't speak to the staff? I'm really baffled.

thats OK overit, i dont get it either!

 

[c1ners]

lol! If one person does all the talking there is less of a chance that the waitress will get distracted and mess up the order. It's also more polite for her. It's not easy going from person to person, and sometimes more than one person will be talking to her at the same time.

 

[Athene]

I order for myself, unless I don't know how to pronounce the name of the food then I get my husband to order it - yeah I'm a coward.

 

[sparassidae]

Is it because women shouldn't speak to the staff? I'm really baffled.

Maybe this is where it started- Women not allowed to speak in public kind of thing. Now I just consider it one of the ways he shows love to me/serves me. I show love in other ways.

lol! If one person does all the talking there is less of a chance that the waitress will get distracted and mess up the order. It's also more polite for her. It's not easy going from person to person, and sometimes more than one person will be talking to her at the same time.

This is basically the reason we stick with DH ordering.

 

[heatherq17]

He might order my drink if I had to run to the restroom but I order my own food and so does he.

 

[moonkitty]

lol! If one person does all the talking there is less of a chance that the waitress will get distracted and mess up the order. It's also more polite for her. It's not easy going from person to person, and sometimes more than one person will be talking to her at the same time.

I waited tables one summer and I had no trouble taking orders from several people at the same table. I actaully found it eaiser this way to remeber who ordered what.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

I tell him what I want then he orders it..but he never orders for me without asking first.

 

[purplecloth]

i just wanted to add in that, like other people, the only time DH does order for me is if i nip to the loo... but this goes the other way as well... if he nips to the loo and the waitress appears i will order for him if hes told me what he wants...

 

[jwwells]

Why is it considered good manners for a guy to get the order from his wife or gf and then tell the waiter/waitress both orders?

I'm trying to understand how this became so and what is the meaning behind such actions? Why is this considered polite/good manners?

Is it because women shouldn't speak to the staff? I'm really baffled.

These things come from traditional manners, mostly derived from chivalry. Some of tradition hangs around still, like men opening doors for their wife. Some tradition has disappeared completely, like women ensuring that their husband is never bothered by the little things in life.

We're in a changing society. Manners, like everything else are still changing. The last manners set to change are the male obligations to females. Who knows what will happen ?

This is my analysis of the politics of the thing as they currently exist: Politically, women want men to follow the chivalry rules without women having any obligation to men. Men are starting to fight back.

 

[purplecloth]

Some tradition has disappeared completely, like women ensuring that their husband is never bothered by the little things in life.

i find this kind of sweeping comment highly offensive...

 

[Evangelina]

This is my analysis of the politics of the thing as they currently exist: Politically, women want men to follow the chivalry rules without women having any obligation to men. Men are starting to fight back.

I expect the same from myself as from my husband... surely it isn't THAT rare?

But I guess when you look at it, most of the 'chivalry' type things are pretty darn useless apart from making a couple feel good about each other. Women don't tend to need help crossing roads, talking to serving staff or opening doors these days. Our dress codes and upbringing make us far more self-reliant. Hmmm... maybe the women who want to be treated chivalrously see it more as a romantic move than a functional one?

 

[moonkitty]

i find this kind of sweeping comment highly offensive...

Me too. Can he paint with a bigger brush?

 

[purplecloth]

Me too. Can he paint with a bigger brush?

well since he tarred every single woman with the same brush... i dont think they make bigger brushes...

 

[DonaldOrwinRenKern]

I've heard women like it when men do this.

Dude! are you really married??

 

[overit]

These things come from traditional manners, mostly derived from chivalry. Some of tradition hangs around still, like men opening doors for their wife. Some tradition has disappeared completely, like women ensuring that their husband is never bothered by the little things in life.

We're in a changing society. Manners, like everything else are still changing. The last manners set to change are the male obligations to females. Who knows what will happen ?

This is my analysis of the politics of the thing as they currently exist: Politically, women want men to follow the chivalry rules without women having any obligation to men. Men are starting to fight back.

Nobody is answering WHY it's considered good manners. Define chivalry when it refers to a man speaking for a woman at a restaurant. Maybe Im' dense but I don't get the WHY it would be considered "chivalry" exactly.

What is the purpose behind speaking for her to the wait staff?

 

[DonaldOrwinRenKern]

These things come from traditional manners, mostly derived from chivalry. Some of tradition hangs around still, like men opening doors for their wife. Some tradition has disappeared completely, like women ensuring that their husband is never bothered by the little things in life.

We're in a changing society. Manners, like everything else are still changing. The last manners set to change are the male obligations to females. Who knows what will happen ?

This is my analysis of the politics of the thing as they currently exist: Politically, women want men to follow the chivalry rules without women having any obligation to men. Men are starting to fight back.

I do things not because I have to or I'm a guy. I hold the door open for people, man or women. If I know what everyone want's I'll order...

Male obligations??? Men are starting to fight back??? Are we at war? I am very much amazed by some of the machismo comments I hear from people that are trying to acheive being as Christ like as possible. I wonder if he thought of it as a male obligation.

 

[JustBoo]

ugh.
It most likely comes from the idea that it is innapropriate for a woman to be heard / speak to anyone but her husband so she would tell him what she desied and he would order it. My husband never does this. Actually he used to make/beg me to do it for HIM. He'd tell me what he wanted then have me order it. I always hated doing it because I felt like waitstaff would think I was controlling. That's what I would think of a man or woman who did this.

 

[gracepaints]

No and it would probably tick me off if he did.

 

[HeatherJay]

My wife orders for herself unless she has told me what she wants. I always thought it would be embarrassing to be the guy to order something she didn't like.

It's the same with us. The only time he would ever order for me is when I've already told him what I want, and I'm busy with the kids or in the restroom or something. And even then, unless we were in a major hurry, he probably wouldn't go beyond ordering my drink for me (because I always drink the same thing), lol.

He's just not "that guy."

 

[Adela]

Some tradition has disappeared completely, like women ensuring that their husband is never bothered by the little things in life.

This is a highly generalized and sexist comment.
You first of all made a sweeping judgment about all women. Then you assume that men are so important that they shouldn’t be bothered by the “little things.”
What do you consider to be the little things in life? Do you believe women should be burdened with them more than men?

These things come from traditional manners, mostly derived from chivalry.

Shouldn’t we all be chivalrous towards each other, not matter what are gender is? I open the door for both men and women.