Does race factor into who you'd date?

[septemberskies]

Well yes--I just made it up!

You had meI thought I was losing my touch and needed to google more often hehehehe

 

[lunalinda]

lol mid-racial dating. Had me too there for a minute.

 

[Ghettoflame]

No, not for me at all. Now, to be honest, bad stereotypes of any race (which are more behavioral/cultural) that tend to accompany race (unfortunately) turn me off, but once again, not to a whole race.

 

[swtldy622]

No, although I have my preferences. My family won't be a concern because well, I am old enough to make my own decisions. I wouldn't date someone who let their family dictate who they would date. I need a man with a backbone, lol.

 

[rachey88]

For me it doesn't matter for me as long as she is hot.
Actually, when I was young, I was partial to Japanese girls.
I know a lot of people that have racist families too, and that factors into their choice of a mate even if they're not racist themselves.

I guess I am just a terrible person but I am going to be honest. Race was a huge factor for me I am not racist by any means. It's not that I don't find someone from a different race unattractive it's that I just don't feel right about it. I love people from all races I have friends that are chinese, african american, indian, japanese, and I love them all!! But I would never be able to date any of them... I just don't know why I am like that but I have always been like that. I'm guessing that there is something that I was taught when I was very very young and subconciously I tucked it away and I just don't know any different. Now I feel bad... :o

 

[Wren]

I guess I am just a terrible person but I am going to be honest. Race was a huge factor for me I am not racist by any means. It's not that I don't find someone from a different race unattractive it's that I just don't feel right about it. I love people from all races I have friends that are chinese, african american, indian, japanese, and I love them all!! But I would never be able to date any of them... I just don't know why I am like that but I have always been like that. I'm guessing that there is something that I was taught when I was very very young and subconciously I tucked it away and I just don't know any different. Now I feel bad... :o

Don't feel bad. There's nothing wrong with personal preferences as long as their not backed by hate, which your's definitely don't seem to be. I'm sure that ChristianCritic will appreciate the honesty.

 

[JSGuitarist]

I guess I am just a terrible person but I am going to be honest. Race was a huge factor for me I am not racist by any means. It's not that I don't find someone from a different race unattractive it's that I just don't feel right about it. I love people from all races I have friends that are chinese, african american, indian, japanese, and I love them all!! But I would never be able to date any of them... I just don't know why I am like that but I have always been like that. I'm guessing that there is something that I was taught when I was very very young and subconciously I tucked it away and I just don't know any different. Now I feel bad... :o

Don't worry rachey I don't think you're terrible For some reason my preference is for black women, probably because it's different than what I'm used to. It's only a preference though; it won't be the ultimate judge on who I marry.

It does feel different, and because it's not what you're used to seeing, it doesn't look right, so what you feel isn't really unusual. People do find it puzzling, and in one of my relationships my girlfriend noticed that people seemed to be watching us, as we were probably the only black and white individuals holding hands in the entire mall.

For the record I'm full-blown Caucasian, so I usually get the jokes about being in an Oreo relationship (hope that doesn't offend anybody).

 

[WileyCoyote]

For the record I'm full-blown Caucasian, so I usually get the jokes about being in an Oreo relationship (hope that doesn't offend anybody).

For that statement to make ANY sense, you would have to be sandwiched between two black ladies.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 

[Sketcher]

For that statement to make ANY sense, you would have to be sandwiched between two black ladies.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

White man in a black man's rap music video!

 

[Trashionista]

No.
It's more about type than race.

I can't say my parents really care, either.

 

[LaMandaRaye]

Well, this thread is great, it's nice to see so many people outminded and can see beyond color. But I can't help but find it disheartening how so many males have expressed their lack of attraction to Black women--mainly because I happen to be one, and one that is single. I read this a lot on the internet, and it's always black women who are targeted as being the least attractive. It doesn't really put me in the most optimistic mood in terms of dating. Just being honest

 

[ChristianCritic]

Well, this thread is great, it's nice to see so many people outminded and can see beyond color. But I can't help but find it disheartening how so many males have expressed their lack of attraction to Black women--mainly because I happen to be one, and one that is single. I read this a lot on the internet, and it's always black women who are targeted as being the least attractive. It doesn't really put me in the most optimistic mood in terms of dating. Just being honest

I think that many African American women ARE attractive (and I'm not just talking about Beyonce or Rihanna!!) It may be the case that some of them are undervalued, in which case open-minded guys benefit!

 

[WileyCoyote]

Well, this thread is great, it's nice to see so many people outminded and can see beyond color. But I can't help but find it disheartening how so many males have expressed their lack of attraction to Black women--mainly because I happen to be one, and one that is single. I read this a lot on the internet, and it's always black women who are targeted as being the least attractive. It doesn't really put me in the most optimistic mood in terms of dating. Just being honest

I LOVES me a Black woman. I myself am Biracial.

How YOU doin'?

 

[septemberskies]

Well, this thread is great, it's nice to see so many people outminded and can see beyond color. But I can't help but find it disheartening how so many males have expressed their lack of attraction to Black women--mainly because I happen to be one, and one that is single. I read this a lot on the internet, and it's always black women who are targeted as being the least attractive. It doesn't really put me in the most optimistic mood in terms of dating. Just being honest

I've noticed that too and I do agree that it is quite disheartening (so much so that at one time I contemplated leaving this forum and other boards). I think a lot of it just comes from the stigma or image that is given to black women. I just keep reminding myself that I am attractive. I know someone will value and appreciate both my inner and outer beauty.

To some respects I don't think we are consciously stigmatized or singled out to be the at the bottom of the barrel by everyone per se. However, there are *some* people who deliberately bash blacks and other races. A lot of it is just the society we live in...

Just live by the old the saying "To each their own", and don't dwell on it too much. Everyone has their own preference and a right to it. I know that even if one guy passes me by, I am someone else's treasure and will be thought of as such

I think that many African American women ARE attractive (and I'm not just talking about Beyonce or Rihanna!!) It may be the case that some of them are undervalued, in which case open-minded guys benefit!

I LOVES me a Black woman. I myself am Biracial.

How YOU doin'?

We have a winner

 

[Sketcher]

Well, this thread is great, it's nice to see so many people outminded and can see beyond color. But I can't help but find it disheartening how so many males have expressed their lack of attraction to Black women--mainly because I happen to be one, and one that is single. I read this a lot on the internet, and it's always black women who are targeted as being the least attractive. It doesn't really put me in the most optimistic mood in terms of dating. Just being honest

If you look good, we'll be interested.

 

[rachey88]

Don't feel bad. There's nothing wrong with personal preferences as long as their not backed by hate, which your's definitely don't seem to be. I'm sure that ChristianCritic will appreciate the honesty.

Don't worry rachey I don't think you're terrible For some reason my preference is for black women, probably because it's different than what I'm used to. It's only a preference though; it won't be the ultimate judge on who I marry.

It does feel different, and because it's not what you're used to seeing, it doesn't look right, so what you feel isn't really unusual. People do find it puzzling, and in one of my relationships my girlfriend noticed that people seemed to be watching us, as we were probably the only black and white individuals holding hands in the entire mall.

For the record I'm full-blown Caucasian, so I usually get the jokes about being in an Oreo relationship (hope that doesn't offend anybody).

Thanks... that makes me feel better... it's just I am always very catious about getting into discussions about race because everytime I do someone always decides to twist my words and make it look like I am racist. For the longest time I thought I was racist... but see with my family it was kind of bred into me that we're supposed to be wit people of our own race my family was, and still is, old fashioned in a lot of ways.
I mean don't get me wrong I find many men of other races very attractive but I know something inside me would always feel like something is not right in a relationship.
Because I did try to date an African American friend of mine and I can describe exactly what the relationship felt like in my mind... it felt like we were trying to force a piece of a puzzle in a place that it didn't belong because there was a piece missing and the only piece left was piece we had but it didn't fit the blank spot... and I felt terrible when we decided to call it off because I knew that it was me, but there was nothing I could do to change it. He understood and we are still good friends... but it did put a damper on our friendship too.
But it's not just African Americans, I almost dated another guy in college but the thing was he was from India and I felt the same way I did when I dated Lawrence.

Oh I was going to also say LaMandaRaye and septemberskies that I am like the whitest girl ever but I always feel like African American girls are very attractive. I am girl but I always thought that. I think it's sad that anyone would label a certain race of women as being "unattractive" it's not fair and just plain rude.

 

[WileyCoyote]

Rachey, you may or may not, like what I am going to say!!

Thanks... that makes me feel better... it's just I am always very catious about getting into discussions about race because everytime I do someone always decides to twist my words and make it look like I am racist. For the longest time I thought I was racist... but see with my family it was kind of bred into me that we're supposed to be wit people of our own race my family was, and still is, old fashioned in a lot of ways.

I don't think your family is the culprit. You are a grown woman capable of making your own decisions. If your family is like that, then perhaps you can be the mature one and set a new tradition for your family free of racial stereotypes.

I mean don't get me wrong I find many men of other races very attractive but I know something inside me would always feel like something is not right in a relationship.
Because I did try to date an African American friend of mine and I can describe exactly what the relationship felt like in my mind... it felt like we were trying to force a piece of a puzzle in a place that it didn't belong because there was a piece missing and the only piece left was piece we had but it didn't fit the blank spot... and I felt terrible when we decided to call it off because I knew that it was me, but there was nothing I could do to change it. He understood and we are still good friends... but it did put a damper on our friendship too.

I feel bad for that guy. I'd be heartbroken if I was in an interracial relationship and the girl broke it off because my skin was darker than hers. It makes me wonder about some people when they say things like, "I like you, I can be your friend, I can even eat from the same plate as you, but I'll NEVER date you, because you're race is different than mine. It just, well, it just doesn't SEEM right." Moses didn't think this way. He married a black woman and his sister seemed to have a big problem with this. I guess his family was similar to yours. (There's one in every family, eh?) God was so offended by Moses's sister that he cursed her with leprosy, turning her skin EXTRA WHITE. It was like He was saying, "So you think black is ugly? Well, I'm going to turn your skin super white." God has a sense of humor. But it proves that God is offended at racism. It's ok to have personal preferences, but to choose not to date somebody because of their race, and there is no other way to say this, but it is RACISM!! And I know that my opinion may be interpreted as biased because I am partially black (Oh looky. Another negro playing the race card) but what I am saying is truth. It would be no different if I chose to only date a certain race but shunned others. Being judged by anything other than your heart is wrong and hurtful. It makes me sad that people still think this way. Blame it on your family all you want, but you are capable of making your own decisions and if you feel that you can't change it, get help.

Oh I was going to also say LaMandaRaye and septemberskies that I am like the whitest girl ever but I always feel like African American girls are very attractive. I am girl but I always thought that. I think it's sad that anyone would label a certain race of women as being "unattractive" it's not fair and just plain rude.

That's clever. Appealing to the beauty of black women but acknowledging that you don't want to date any of their men. It's kind of like a reinforcement of LaMandaRaye's objections, that people can't see the beauty in black folks. "Oh, I am white but I think black women are very attractive. I just would NEVER date one of your men because it feels wrong."

Don't take this as me saying I don't like you. I don't know you, and you probably are a very nice girl. But I felt a rebuke was in order because I'm tired of seeing this kind of thinking in our society. I have dated a couple of white girls and their daddies didn't like me because they were against the whole 'interracial dating' thing. One girl's father got very angry when she told him she was dating someone black (she told him I was black). She never introduced me to him. No doubt, it would have been a very unpleasant experience.

Like I said, personal preferences are ok, as long as you are open minded. As long as you are willing to look past race and into the heart, you are ok. But once race becomes more important than what is on the inside, it then becomes a racial thing. As kindly as I know how to say it:

Refusing to date someone for no other reason than their race, makes you a RACIST.


(let the criticism begin!!!)

 

[Lady Bug]

Rachey, you may or may not, like what I am going to say!!

I don't think your family is the culprit. You are a grown woman capable of making your own decisions. If your family is like that, then perhaps you can be the mature one and set a new tradition for your family free of racial stereotypes. I feel bad for that guy. I'd be heartbroken if I was in an interracial relationship and the girl broke it off because my skin was darker than hers. It makes me wonder about some people when they say things like, "I like you, I can be your friend, I can even eat from the same plate as you, but I'll NEVER date you, because you're race is different than mine. It just, well, it just doesn't SEEM right." Moses didn't think this way. He married a black woman and his sister seemed to have a big problem with this. I guess his family was similar to yours. (There's one in every family, eh?) God was so offended by Moses's sister that he cursed her with leprosy, turning her skin EXTRA WHITE. It was like He was saying, "So you think black is ugly? Well, I'm going to turn your skin super white." God has a sense of humor. But it proves that God is offended at racism. It's ok to have personal preferences, but to choose not to date somebody because of their race, and there is no other way to say this, but it is RACISM!! And I know that my opinion may be interpreted as biased because I am partially black (Oh looky. Another negro playing the race card) but what I am saying is truth. It would be no different if I chose to only date a certain race but shunned others. Being judged by anything other than your heart is wrong and hurtful. It makes me sad that people still think this way. Blame it on your family all you want, but you are capable of making your own decisions and if you feel that you can't change it, get help.
That's clever. Appealing to the beauty of black women but acknowledging that you don't want to date any of their men. It's kind of like a reinforcement of LaMandaRaye's objections, that people can't see the beauty in black folks. "Oh, I am white but I think black women are very attractive. I just would NEVER date one of your men because it feels wrong."

Don't take this as me saying I don't like you. I don't know you, and you probably are a very nice girl. But I felt a rebuke was in order because I'm tired of seeing this kind of thinking in our society. I have dated a couple of white girls and their daddies didn't like me because they were against the whole 'interracial dating' thing. One girl's father got very angry when she told him she was dating someone black (she told him I was black). She never introduced me to him. No doubt, it would have been a very unpleasant experience.

Like I said, personal preferences are ok, as long as you are open minded. As long as you are willing to look past race and into the heart, you are ok. But once race becomes more important than what is on the inside, it then becomes a racial thing. As kindly as I know how to say it:

Refusing to date someone for no other reason than their race, makes you a RACIST.


(let the criticism begin!!!)

I can see where you're coming from - but does declining to date someone of a different race because you yourself are not attracted to those of that race constitute as racism?

Sometimes I feel that I am not attracted enough to certain races to date them...does that make me bad?

I hate even asking that. Because frankly if I see other interracial relationships and their children, it truly does not anger me at all. It used to anger my mom - but I don't fear anything when I see this in real life. It's their decision if they want to.

I can't even decide though what I'm thinking - I've never had a BF before - so I'm certain that my POV has naivete attached to it.

One thing I will acknowledge - I used to go on this site called Boundless (blech - and good riddance to it). I grew to hate that site really badly.

In one of their blog articles, someone there who I disliked pretty badly was trying to say that people tend to be more attracted to lighter-skinned people because they're "rare" compared to the totality of people in the world and it p'd me off because it was just freakin rude. That was the tip of the iceberg as to the things that bothered me there.

For the record though - for a long time I think I lived in a shell in regard to interracial dating I used to be closed-minded about it. I thank God that I have improved on this over the years. I know that there may be room for me to improve (don't take that the wrong way folks) but sometimes I cringe at how closed-minded I used to be regarding the idea of interracial dating when it doesn't really bother me anymore.

When this presidential election came (please do NOT politicize this), I found the appearance of Barack Obama to be attractive (ok - don't laugh - ok laugh) and it made me happy to realize that if there were someone like him in real life who wanted to date me, I'd have zero problem with it. In fact I think I'd go after him Ok maybe not - I'm not the initiating type

Hope I don't get flamed LOL...anything I said could be taken the wrong way. I somehow have the ability to accidentally offend people even when my intention is the furthest thing from that.

 

[rachey88]

Rachey, you may or may not, like what I am going to say!!

I don't think your family is the culprit. You are a grown woman capable of making your own decisions. If your family is like that, then perhaps you can be the mature one and set a new tradition for your family free of racial stereotypes. I feel bad for that guy. I'd be heartbroken if I was in an interracial relationship and the girl broke it off because my skin was darker than hers. It makes me wonder about some people when they say things like, "I like you, I can be your friend, I can even eat from the same plate as you, but I'll NEVER date you, because you're race is different than mine. It just, well, it just doesn't SEEM right." Moses didn't think this way. He married a black woman and his sister seemed to have a big problem with this. I guess his family was similar to yours. (There's one in every family, eh?) God was so offended by Moses's sister that he cursed her with leprosy, turning her skin EXTRA WHITE. It was like He was saying, "So you think black is ugly? Well, I'm going to turn your skin super white." God has a sense of humor. But it proves that God is offended at racism. It's ok to have personal preferences, but to choose not to date somebody because of their race, and there is no other way to say this, but it is RACISM!! And I know that my opinion may be interpreted as biased because I am partially black (Oh looky. Another negro playing the race card) but what I am saying is truth. It would be no different if I chose to only date a certain race but shunned others. Being judged by anything other than your heart is wrong and hurtful. It makes me sad that people still think this way. Blame it on your family all you want, but you are capable of making your own decisions and if you feel that you can't change it, get help.
That's clever. Appealing to the beauty of black women but acknowledging that you don't want to date any of their men. It's kind of like a reinforcement of LaMandaRaye's objections, that people can't see the beauty in black folks. "Oh, I am white but I think black women are very attractive. I just would NEVER date one of your men because it feels wrong."

Don't take this as me saying I don't like you. I don't know you, and you probably are a very nice girl. But I felt a rebuke was in order because I'm tired of seeing this kind of thinking in our society. I have dated a couple of white girls and their daddies didn't like me because they were against the whole 'interracial dating' thing. One girl's father got very angry when she told him she was dating someone black (she told him I was black). She never introduced me to him. No doubt, it would have been a very unpleasant experience.

Like I said, personal preferences are ok, as long as you are open minded. As long as you are willing to look past race and into the heart, you are ok. But once race becomes more important than what is on the inside, it then becomes a racial thing. As kindly as I know how to say it:

Refusing to date someone for no other reason than their race, makes you a RACIST.


(let the criticism begin!!!)

This is the exact reason why I never discuss this because someone always try to make it seem like I am racist. And it is a personal preference because it does me feel uncomfortable... it's obviously something you would never understand.

You have twisted my words just like everyone else and completely took everything I said in the wrong way. I never said I disagree or don't like interracial dating, marriages, whatever... I just can't do it personally. I am a very open minded person!!!

Look I didn't date my friend just because he was black and I wanted to see if I could handle an interracial relationship. I dated him because I was attracted to him and we were great friends and we had a lot in common. I find people of other races very attractive. And if you look back in my first post I do find African American men very attractive as well as many other races, but it my preference to be with a white man... and there is nothing wrong with that!!!!!

Look I hate to say it but there are people who just can't do the interracial dating and it's not because they are racist... it's just something inside doesn't feel right... I was very sad that it didn't feel right but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. But I certainly don't disagree with it. I think interracial relationships are fine!! As long as you love the person and they love you back and everything is hunky-dory Great!! But don't try and say that I am racist because I am not!!! I do not hate people for the color of their skin... I do not judge by the color of skin...

If you are going to try and put words in my mouth then just disregard my posts entirely because I am tired of this debate of whether or not I am racist because I don't date men of other skin colors other than mine!

And what I said to LaMandaRaye and septemberskies has nothing to do with men!! I just wanted to reinforce that black women are very attractive and people who say they aren't are crazy!!! It's the same with any race!! I think everyone is beautiful we are all made in God's image and if someone has the audacity to say that an entire race is considered unattractive then they are racist.

 

[deliciousBass]

Ah who cares Rachey. Don't you have a boyfriend anyway?

All I know is that I want a woman who is like ME culturally and intellectually and whom I find physically attractive. If she is my race then that is just a bonus in my opinion.