Does It Matter Who Asks?

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

I wouldn't say it's wrong for the woman to ask or anything, but most men want to do the asking. I wouldn't ask my bf to marry me because I know it's important to him to do the asking if that's where God leads us

 

[ChildOfGod20]

Right! She understood completely. It is not about submission.... I was trying to make these points (see above).

Another thing I was trying to say is that too many times women say they want the man to lead, but if that is really the case, how does this "I hint about him asking me to marry him" fit into it. Putting pressure is just an underhanded way of "leading".... I see it too many times. Manipulation is too many Christian's "politically correct" way of leading as a woman.

i don't know where this "i hint about him asking me to marry him" stuff came from and i never see this happen because every couple i know is pretty open and honest. and where r u getting this manipulation is too often a woman's way of leading??? the biblical role of men being the leaders and women to be submissive is not for guys to make all the decisions and for women to manipulate to get their way.

God says that wives are to submit themselves to their own husbands "as unto the Lord," and they are to be subject to their husbands. He also says "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it." That Hebrew word for love is "agape" which means "wish well to, regard the welfare of." This is a selfless love and therefore, for a husband to love his wife as it is God's command in Ephesians 5:25, he needs to dedicate himself to doing what is best for his wife. God has given the husband the leadership role for the good of his wife, not as an excuse for him to be proud or selfish, and not as an excuse to treat her as a servant. If a husband is loving her as God intends him to love her, he will be so unselfishly concerned with her welfare, and so considerate of God's will for her as well as her wishes, desires, and opinions, that she will hardly realize that she is in submission. So I'm still unsure of how some people think it's unbiblical????

 

[lacedinlavender]

I don't think that hinting around or teasing in good fun is necessarily a woman's attempt to manipulate a man in order to get what she wants, or a Christian's "politically correct" way to lead the man. (Of course, depending on various things, this CAN be the case.) I believe that while the woman is supposed to be submissive to her husband, a relationship is a two way street and the woman's opinion should be weighed just as heavily as the man's--which comes into play in the scripture which tells a man to love his wife as Christ loved the church. A man who loves his wife/future wife/girlfriend will value her opinions and thoughts.

Every now and then I will hint around to my boyfriend about how I'd like to be engaged, and he just laughs and says in time and when he feels God's leading, he'll propose to me, and I'm perfectly okay with that. Unless he feels God's leading, I don't want him to propose. But that doesn't mean I'm trying to pressure him or to manipulate him if I mention something about my ideal engagement ring if I see a Zales commercial on TV, or pass by a local jewelry store when we're out in town.

Jen

 

[loved]

NO way!!! I would be totally immasculated if my gf asked me to marry her. If a girl needs to do this something is seriously messed up in the relationship. Wow, just wow.

lol

 

[loved]

I would never ask my SO to marry me , IMO it's the man's job, and if we take that away from them, what heve they got left to do ???

 

[Cordy]

I would never ask my SO to marry me , IMO it's the man's job, and if we take that away from them, what heve they got left to do ???

Saying "yes!"

 

[Leanna]

I would never ask my SO to marry me , IMO it's the man's job, and if we take that away from them, what heve they got left to do ???

He could pick out his tux, choose his groomsmen, plan the honeymoon.....

 

[AntheasPrince]

Funny thing is a woman is always in charge of the relationship so i suggest women make their man propose. We care more about the relationship than the guy does, don't we? Our life from a little girl is playing house so comeon now girls make him propose to you. And pretend to be surprised.

Wow. You're stepping into some pretty deep waters with that comment.