Does it get easier???

[charlie820]

I lost my amazing nan at the end of January to malignant melanoma. She was a second mum to me and I miss her terribly. I have a few good days but they are followed by awful days, its just not getting easier is this normal??

 

[BigToe]

oh *snuggles* that's horrible. Losing someone close to you, no matter if you're blood related or not, is hard. Especially if it is someone you've had as a major part of your life for a long time. I know some people who are still crying once a week years later. Hopefully that won't be the case for you, but in the big picture it hasnt been that long.

Have you considered talking to a counselor about it? Or a priest or friend? Talking to someone who is willing to listen and give comfort can make a world of difference. Even if just to know that someone understands and cares that you're grieving.

 

[rushingwind62]

I lost my amazing nan at the end of January to malignant melanoma. She was a second mum to me and I miss her terribly. I have a few good days but they are followed by awful days, its just not getting easier is this normal??

It takes time my friend. You are still in the grieving process. I don't want to say it gets easier because I don't want to mislead you. THe pain and the loss never fully goes away but it does become less intense after you work through the grieving process. How long does that take? It varies from person to person and how well they can cope with death. Some deal with it better than others. I tend to deal with death pretty easily and it doesn't take me long to work through the grieving process. How do I do that? First I know there is nothing I can do to change the situation nor can I bring the person back. Second, I realize I will see this person again when I get to Heaven if they have recieved Christ. If they haven't it makes it a little more difficult to deal with. And finally, I pray and ask for God's comfort during the grieving process and try not to lose my focus on Him. Too often many focus in on the pain and loss they feel and lose sight and faith on the Lord. Even when healing does come there is still good days and bad./ Some days you just plain miss your loved one and tears will fall. My prayers are with you and God Bless You!

 

[lavenderskies]

I felt the same way when I lost my father to cancer. I finally went to a grief counselor a year later, it helped me so much.

 

[womanofvalor]

I have lost both my parents and my daughter in the last 10 years--my daughter and mother only last year.
I have decided that it doesn't get easier, but we learn to live with the ache in our heart for the person/s we lost. I still cry over my daughter and probably always will.
I believe the degree to which we loved is the degree to which we grieve.
Be gentle on yourself. There is no set time limit on grief. Take as long as you need. You'll have days when you feel you can cope and days where you feel you can't. And all the stages of grief--they aren't the same for everyone or don't occur in some magic pattern. Grief is an individual thing and we must allow ourselves to grieve in whatever way we need to.
Take care of you, right now--eat when you can, sleep when sleep will come and drink plenty of water. And remember to breathe--sometimes we forget.
I wish you peace, dear one!!

 

[Romans55]

if you would ahve told me 13 years ago, I would feel like I do now I would have choked you, but here I am and the pain is still there, but its in a different place where all my consuming thoughts are not on my husband or mom.
Im sorry for your loss, Take it day by day and pray
Ill be praying for you too
sandi

 

[wavepic]

I lost my amazing nan at the end of January to malignant melanoma. She was a second mum to me and I miss her terribly. I have a few good days but they are followed by awful days, its just not getting easier is this normal??

Yes, it does get better. Slowly over the course of time. Consider the grieving process to be like running a marathon. You have to pace yourself, in order to finish. The first year is def. the hardest, but time does make it more bearable.

 

[Mask]

Sorry to hear about the loss of your Nan...sending & ! Healing does come with God helps and time. He is the God of comfort...cry on His shoulder.

 

[ashley lynne]

Honestly? No, it doesn't. Maybe for some people the pain goes away but it certainly hasn't for me or my mother. My dad passed away nearly two years ago now and it still hurts. It will always hurt in some way or form. And, to be honest, I don't want it to not hurt.