Does it bother you when..

[penNpaper]

Tonight I got offended at church this evening.

When I was going to my youth service at my church. I decided that I would sit down instead of joining into the prayer that was already being held. So I didn't want to jump into the middle of something you know.

Well an older intern gentlemen walk up to me. He said around the lines are you staying for the service or something similar. I said yes. And then he said how old are you. 23-24ish around there. He pretty much said you got to leave this is a youth service. I was thinking no kidding right didn't say it but come on now. I got offended because firstly he has no right to come up and say how old are you and tell me to leave without knowing all the facts. There are two services that are held Wenesday night. One is for the youth service which are around Junior High uo to College. There is a lot of young to old people in our youth service on Wenesday, including people my age as well. The other service is held for adults in the gym because the youth pretty much kick them out of the main room because we are growing each and every year!!

I got offended by the way it was handled. I stayed for the youth service, after I called my youth leader friend about the matter. He has it is alright for around year until I enter into the Youth Professionals which are 25+ and over and so on.

I believe the only reason why this happened to me was there was another person who was an older adult I mean around probably 50ish or so in a youth service is kind-a creepy but there are two services one for the youth and one for the adults. I was in on the right service and the other person was a visitor of the church. Hopefully, he didn't get offended because i feel like my church does things 'differently' in handling certain matters. But heck it is life. They are just doing their job, but it should been handled differently in my personal opinion!!

Yes, this is a drewy rant. But here comes a question or two for discussion!!

How do you feel about your church in handling certain matters that may offend in general people that isn't in-tune (visiting, new) to the daily activities of your church?

What is one thing that just makes you wonder 'huh' about your church actions. They are trying to protect not only yourself but also all people in general for a good thing in the House of the Lord.

Regards,
Drew

 

[Deliberatetourist]

Church people are first and foremost just plain people. People range in attitude and demeanor from untolerable to kind, compassionate, and Christ like.
Was he a deacon? Or a pastor of some sort? If he were just a regular member I would have kindly told him your situation and added at the end that it was really none of his business. Not to be overtly rude but some people need a hint sometimes that the rest of humanity is not always obliged to fall into their neat little categories of how things should be. That usually will deter any succedding episodes. However some churches do things quite differently. I remember years ago while I was atteding a "singles" group at a very large church I became really anoyed with the group. There were lots of attractive females in the group but come to find out nearly half of the attendees were married couples?!?!?! I'll wager that if I were to have say, joined in with the teens group that there would have been some talk of my needing to find a proper group. But apparently the singles group had no problem with marrieds moonlighting. I eventually found a new church.

 

[penNpaper]

Church people are first and foremost just plain people. People range in attitude and demeanor from untolerable to kind, compassionate, and Christ like.
Was he a deacon? Or a pastor of some sort? If he were just a regular member I would have kindly told him your situation and added at the end that it was really none of his business. Not to be overtly rude but some people need a hint sometimes that the rest of humanity is not always obliged to fall into their neat little categories of how things should be. That usually will deter any succedding episodes. However some churches do things quite differently. I remember years ago while I was atteding a "singles" group at a very large church I became really anoyed with the group. There were lots of attractive females in the group but come to find out nearly half of the attendees were married couples?!?!?! I'll wager that if I were to have say, joined in with the teens group that there would have been some talk of my needing to find a proper group. But apparently the singles group had no problem with marrieds moonlighting. I eventually found a new church.

I think it was an usser slash intern (wasn't a pastor in what I am believing so) who was a very older gentlemen in his 50-60ish age group. I almost went 'So how old are you' because he just walked up to me and so on.

I can understand the church can be friendly and handle things differently. I'm just a little annoyed that sometimes the church can get on people's nerves. If I was a new vistor to the church I would never returned to this church again dued to the fact it was handled poorly.

At my church there are many Single groups. I am shocked to see there is only 1-2 for the guys; and 5-7 for the ladies. These are seperated groups and not let's put the men and the ladies together in one group and so on. I never got that at all at times. I can understand that the church is trying to make the groups focused on their own Single Life and so on but if you don't interact with the other group. It is just a little strange to me but heck the church is overall a good church to be with and it is a big church across various church campuses across the Seattle district.

Regards,
Drew

 

[gottabemore2life]

Wow... my church would never tell anyone to leave... or even HINT at it.
I love my church. Everyone is accepting and loving and very non-judgmental.

Not saying we are perfect, but every person I have brought with me to church has said the same thing. They feel welcomed. And that's how a church should make someone feel, IMHO.

 

[penNpaper]

Wow... my church would never tell anyone to leave... or even HINT at it.
I love my church. Everyone is accepting and loving and very non-judgmental.

Not saying we are perfect, but every person I have brought with me to church has said the same thing. They feel welcomed. And that's how a church should make someone feel, IMHO.

They did say to LEAVE but to go to the other service. Which I know where I should be at for now soon I will enter the YP group and the rest will be history.

Regards,
Drew

 

[Willseeker]

What he did wasn't nice. And according to God's word, it wasn't correct either. Anyone can go to Jesus (if only EVERYone did it!) But you get prejudices everywhere and that is part of our fleshly nature...

The bright side is, now you know why he needs Jesus!? Pray for him.

And then for yourself, taking offence at what he said, that's also not correct according to God's word, because you should know that your worth is in Christ and that it doesn't matter what anyone says about you, you should know what God says about you and know what Christ did for you... DO NOT BE OFFENDED. And now you know why you need Jesus, and through the Holy Spirit you can connect with Him anywhere, anytime and kicking you out of a youth service, should not stop you... Imagine all the great men in the Bible stopped when the kings got unhappy about them worshipping God?

We all need Jesus... God made us that way, so everyone will have sin and being in a church doesn't make anyone better than anyone, it means that they are the ones that acknowledge it.

 

[wildthing]

Tonight I got offended at church this evening.

When I was going to my youth service at my church. I decided that I would sit down instead of joining into the prayer that was already being held. So I didn't want to jump into the middle of something you know.

Well an older intern gentlemen walk up to me. He said around the lines are you staying for the service or something similar. I said yes. And then he said how old are you. 23-24ish around there. He pretty much said you got to leave this is a youth service. I was thinking no kidding right didn't say it but come on now. I got offended because firstly he has no right to come up and say how old are you and tell me to leave without knowing all the facts. There are two services that are held Wenesday night. One is for the youth service which are around Junior High uo to College. There is a lot of young to old people in our youth service on Wenesday, including people my age as well. The other service is held for adults in the gym because the youth pretty much kick them out of the main room because we are growing each and every year!!

Well I would probly ask the older guy if he was carded too? Then would of ask him why he was there? wondering if perhaps he had a senior moment and forgot what was happening.

I got offended by the way it was handled. I stayed for the youth service, after I called my youth leader friend about the matter. He has it is alright for around year until I enter into the Youth Professionals which are 25+ and over and so on.

I believe the only reason why this happened to me was there was another person who was an older adult I mean around probably 50ish or so in a youth service is kind-a creepy but there are two services one for the youth and one for the adults. I was in on the right service and the other person was a visitor of the church. Hopefully, he didn't get offended because i feel like my church does things 'differently' in handling certain matters. But heck it is life. They are just doing their job, but it should been handled differently in my personal opinion!!

yeah creepy to be that older (50ish) and involved with there.

How do you feel about your church in handling certain matters that may offend in general people that isn't in-tune (visiting, new) to the daily activities of your church?

1st few times it's ok. Hey I'm old guy but I run the coffee house at church. I'm one of the few adults who don't mind hearing loud music. I usually say all are welcome till u do something stupid like make the younger gals/guys uncorforable then u got to go.

What is one thing that just makes you wonder 'huh' about your church actions. They are trying to protect not only yourself but also all people in general for a good thing in the House of the Lord.

There is alot of strange people out there u never know their motives so in some cases the church has to be ready for all things. If u r a known member you should be clear to hang out with young adults. Today your average age college student is a lot older too. So go where u fit in...

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Wow, I'm sorry that happen Drew. I agree that was handled very poor. That was rude of him. Like you said if I would've been a vistor I wouldn't have returned. He def. could've handled things better.

I think sometimes church's get caught up in such petty little things that doesn't even matter in the long run. I've seen it happen. It's so sad. I once heard of a church splitting up because of where the organ was placed. Crazy stuff.

 

[silentpoet]

You should have pepper sprayed him.

 

[RonnyRulz]

Wow... my church would never tell anyone to leave... or even HINT at it.
I love my church. Everyone is accepting and loving and very non-judgmental.

Not saying we are perfect, but every person I have brought with me to church has said the same thing. They feel welcomed. And that's how a church should make someone feel, IMHO.

BWA?!?!?!

And what church is this? I want to go!!!!!!!!!

lol

My church used to be accepting and loving and non-judgemental.... then I left... lol

I find it incredibly difficult to find a church like the one you describe. Even the best one I ever went to, where I was a youth pastor's assitant, was not a friendly or welcoming place. It was a good church in a lot of ways, but in the way that mattered most (love, acceptance, non-judging, friendly) it was lacking bigtime.


It was a struggle for me to carry the burden of being friendly all on my own, and when I brought people to church, no one talked to them. They'd sit off in the sidelines, I'd do other things expecting everyone to make my guest feel welcome, but nope; my guests would sit off to the sidelines not having anyone say anything to them until they left. So if I brought a guest, I'd have to juggle my guest, my job, responsibilities, all the new guests, the new ones that came back but havent decided stay, etc. etc.
The stress was overwhelming to the point of a few times where I had to hold myself together from breaking down crying. I never ever ever understood the answer when I asked myself "Why is no one helping me? Why do they sit back and do nothing, and even when I try to get them to help they make excuses, or only help for 3 seconds with a bad attitude and then leave? Why am I alone in this?"
I remember one time a group of like 5-6 youth showed up, ages from like 4-14 showed up and hanging out with that many kids who were everywhere was not easy, and my co-workers and every other leader didn't do anything, even when I asked them. Then later when someone drops their wallet that they found later was just dropped, between losing it and finding it, they blamed the kids just because they were poor. I almost lost my mind that night!

It was such a heavy burden that it got to the point where I just wanted to quit. I wanted time for myself to enjoy the church myself, but I never really got to. Carrying your burden and everyone else's drains away all your own personal time. God had me leave that church, but when I went I wished I could just sit back and enjoy church without having to do anything. I never even got time for myself to just hang out with the people I liked to hang out with.

@_@

I'd kill for a church that is described by multiple people as "Everyone is accepting and loving and very non-judgmental."
And I have never been to a church where I can say "I feel welcomed."

In fact, the last church I attended, I went there over a year and still didn't know anyone, despite being the friendliest guy there, trying my hardest to fit in, belong, get to know ppl, etc. No one seemed to want a new person in their cliches and so after a year when I stopped and realized "Wait... I've been here over a year and I still don't know anyone..." I just left. And no one noticed, lol.
It is crazy that no matter how strong, confident, and secure you are in your own person, if you go a place a year and are naturally outgoing, kind, fun, etc. yet because you didn't grow up in that church you can't belong- it really makes you begin to second guess all that confidence, security, and strength in yourself. It makes you begin to think "What is wrong with me?" and you have to get other people to affirm that it wasn't anything to do with you because they went too and they felt the same way. Going to that church only left me with more insecurities than when I came there.

Then lifechurch.tv, that was like the most unfriendly impersonal church I've ever been to. It was like going to a concert.....alone. That church was just about as friendly as going to walmart and expecting strangers to talk to you.

Where are these churches that make new people feel welcomed? I'd really like to know.
I would absolutely LOVE a church that made me feel welcomed.

 

[RonnyRulz]

You should have pepper sprayed him.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Where are these churches that make new people feel welcomed? I'd really like to know.
I would absolutely LOVE a church that made me feel welcomed.

I don't where you're from but I really believe you would love my church! I'll PM you the link to the website if you want me to.

 

[IDDQD]

And this is why I no longer go to church and instead have been working on an in-dorm relationship with God instead.

 

[penNpaper]

I don't where you're from but I really believe you would love my church! I'll PM you the link to the website if you want me to.

Interesting

Can you give me the link as well

Regards,
Drew

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Interesting

Can you give me the link as well

Regards,
Drew

Sure no problem!

 

[silentpoet]

The welcoming attitude is one reason I am a member of a Nazarene church.