- Feb 18, 2015
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I have an addiction to inappropriate content and masturbation. Hard to confess here, but I have before.
In the past with it, I usually would try and fight it and felt shame and guilt afterwards most of the time. However, recently I have not. I have not tried to fight it at all, I get the urge, and I act. I feel like my conscience is numb. I feel as though God has abandoned me to my sin. I ask God for forgiveness and go to Confession and want to stop but I can't. Part of me thinks that I may not really want to stop because lately when I act out I feel proud of myself for giving myself pleasure even though I know it is wrong and contrary to God's will and therefore shouldn't do it... I feel like a hypocrite when I pray and go to Confession because I have done it soo many times. Has God hardened my heart and abandoned me to my sin?
In the past with it, I usually would try and fight it and felt shame and guilt afterwards most of the time. However, recently I have not. I have not tried to fight it at all, I get the urge, and I act. I feel like my conscience is numb. I feel as though God has abandoned me to my sin. I ask God for forgiveness and go to Confession and want to stop but I can't. Part of me thinks that I may not really want to stop because lately when I act out I feel proud of myself for giving myself pleasure even though I know it is wrong and contrary to God's will and therefore shouldn't do it... I feel like a hypocrite when I pray and go to Confession because I have done it soo many times. Has God hardened my heart and abandoned me to my sin?