I haven't ever used the criminal justice system to seek justice for myself, (issues of evidence and proof, and now the main perp has passed away) but I have done some confronting. That was very helpful. Other perps I haven't confronted, either because I don't consider them safe enough to, or because I don't see that it will benefit either them or me. That may yet come, who knows?
Warning, I am a lawyer so I am passionate about justice, and this is gonna be long
My understanding of justice is that the criminal or civil systems that we have here are second best in terms of their ability to deliver justice (and that's even if they work and do deliver a guilty verdict or a successful lawsuit).
Justice is not about punishment. It is about restoration. It is about getting your life back, putting things right. Only God can fully deliver that, so while I would have loved the vindication of the legal system, and would have had a measure of satisfaction from it, the most healing thing for me has been to sit and wonder at how far I have come, and to see the things that I lost being restored to me.
I am not scared to breathe now, I don't have to walk on eggshells, I get to make choices, have opinions, live my life, be myself. People are not trying to kill me, either directly or through trying to stop me being myself. I am not an object and can even be in relationships. All of that is part of my restoration, and hence, in a very real sense it is part of me "getting justice". I am getting my life. My whole future is part of getting justice. It's not a one time deal.
There is a point at which comparison is quite meaningless, but even taking that into account, my life is far richer than that of my two main (still alive) perps. They are broken people who have harmed the ones they love, and they have to live with that. I don't agree with much that he said, but Socrates once said "it is far better to suffer injustice than to commit it" or something like that. I am not suggesting that God has wrecked their lives as a punishment. Not at all. I think it breaks his heart. We were all created to be more than victims, and more than perps. Their sin has messed with their lives and their potential, though.
I know there is plenty of research about what a harrowing experience going through the criminal justice system can be. I would think long and hard about it, if I were raped again now. BUT I would report it. I believe in the justice system even though it is far far far from perfect and hasn't "helped" me yet. It is important that it works as well as it can, and reporting needs to happen for that reason too. There are also huge strides forward in terms of training personnel and reforming court processes to make it easier for complainants, at least here in Australia. And being a part of that system I am in a stronger place to work within it than some others.
But, I wouldn't tell anyone that they have to report. It can do a lot to deal with the shame, and to bring vindication and help the general healing process. But it can also be very damaging - especially if you are not ready for the defence lawyers tactics. But courts are getting slowly better in that regard too.
I agree too, that reliving it doesn't only happen because of court experiences. Heck I relive my experiences most days to a degree, especially if I am having a counselling appointment; and other things can remind me at times too. Court can be a way to fight back and regain power. I would also be happy to be traumatised in court if it will make it harder for that person to reoffend against someone else; and taking that stand is empowering too, regardless of the verdict.
Compensation (either from the state or a lawsuit) can help pay for therapy and make ends meet for those who can't work due to trauma. There are many advantages to using the legal system, but like anything it's a balancing act. I would advocate it, but not without a really good support system in place.
Lilygrace