Does anyone like rejection?

[MehGuy]

Does anyone like being rejected? Like loving another woman or man but not being loved back?

I'm engrossed by this. Honestly being in a loveless marriage is something I always dreamed about as a kid.

I'm just wondering who else feels this way, and do they feel like it gets in the way of relationships with the opposite *or sometimes same-sex?*

I'm starting to think I need to give up on the idea of finding a woman to actually love and just refocus on what I really want. It's unhealthy but least it's living. I'm just emotionally strangling myself otherwise.

 

[Sketcher]

No.

 

[127.0.0.1]

Yes.

Wait... maybe.


Possibly... depends.

 

[MehGuy]

Yes.

Wait... maybe.


Possibly... depends.

Not sure lol? You do at least a little bit, I doubt there are many people alive who do not like to be rejected from their love interest at least a little. I guess I just need to accept that I like lots of rejection and as long as I don't put other people through heck it's ok to go through with it.

 

[Going Merry]

That's sort of a weird dream to have.
The being in a loveless thing.
I have a weird one too.
I used to want to be alone forever.
I still have it in me, but it depends how something works out.
If it doesn't work out, then I'll just do that.

 

[MacFall]

No, it's impossible to enjoy pain of any kind. But it is possible to prefer one kind of pain over another. For example, people who cut themselves because they prefer physical pain to the emotional pain that otherwise occupies their minds. "Enjoying" rejection, I think, happens when a person's opinion of himself is very low and he prefers to have that opinion reinforced, over the difficulty of accepting another opinion. Basically, it's a way of shifting responsibility for one's self-image onto other people.

 

[Sweet Melody]

I can't say that I do.

 

[Niels]

When I love, I desire to be loved back. A loveless marriage sounds awful to me.


Slight tangent:

As one who sees romantic love in terms of compatibility/incompatibility, I dislike the popular concept of rejection. Although I suppose it's technically rejection when tattooed morning people who love city life don't date tattoo-free night owls who love country life, I think it's better to regard it as a mismatch. Rejection as a demoralizing practice of treating others as worthless or hopelessly flawed, on the other hand, is cruel as far as I'm concerned. People are either compatible or they're not, and it has to be a two way street in order to qualify as true compatibility. I like it when folks look for genuine compatibility rather than just settling for whomever happens to be available. However, I neither think of incompatibility as indicative of an intrinsic lack of worth, nor reflective of rejection in an "I'm better than you are" sense. It just means that there are more optimal matches out there. One stands a better chance of finding pleasant companionship and reciprocal love when compatibility is present.

 

[redblue22]

I like those who like me. I'm pretty easy to get. My heart must be won again each day. At no point is anyone free to say she has won me.

 

[Blank123]

No, it's impossible to enjoy pain of any kind. But it is possible to prefer one kind of pain over another. For example, people who cut themselves because they prefer physical pain to the emotional pain that otherwise occupies their minds. "Enjoying" rejection, I think, happens when a person's opinion of himself is very low and he prefers to have that opinion reinforced, over the difficulty of accepting another opinion. Basically, it's a way of shifting responsibility for one's self-image onto other people.

To love and be loved in return is one of the most fundamental human needs. If you don't desire to be loved in return, then you're probably dealing with some deep issues. Using the word "obsessed" didn't help either.

I'd start by asking "why" you feel that way, and just see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

When I love, I desire to be loved back. A loveless marriage sounds awful to me.


Slight tangent:

As one who sees romantic love in terms of compatibility/incompatibility, I dislike the popular concept of rejection. Although I suppose it's technically rejection when tattooed morning people who love city life don't date tattoo-free night owls who love country life, I think it's better to regard it as a mismatch. Rejection as a demoralizing practice of treating others as worthless or hopelessly flawed, on the other hand, is cruel as far as I'm concerned. People are either compatible or they're not, and it has to be a two way street in order to qualify as true compatibility. I like it when folks look for genuine compatibility rather than just settling for whomever happens to be available. However, I neither think of incompatibility as indicative of an intrinsic lack of worth, nor reflective of rejection in an "I'm better than you are" sense. It just means that there are more optimal matches out there. One stands a better chance of finding pleasant companionship and reciprocal love when compatibility is present.

What these guys said.

 

[GQ Chris]

Love it. Greatest feeling in the world.

 

[HighwayMan]

Yes.

But which I mean obviously not.

 

[exitstageright]

Does anyone like being rejected? Like loving another woman or man but not being loved back?

I'm engrossed by this. Honestly being in a loveless marriage is something I always dreamed about as a kid.

I'm just wondering who else feels this way, and do they feel like it gets in the way of relationships with the opposite *or sometimes same-sex?*

I'm starting to think I need to give up on the idea of finding a woman to actually love and just refocus on what I really want. It's unhealthy but least it's living. I'm just emotionally strangling myself otherwise.

I don't think that anyone likes rejection. However,rejection is just a part of life,a setback. One getting rejected is like a prize fighter getting knocked down. You can either stay down,quit,or get back up and fight. Persistance does pay off.

Case in point,one producer once told a young man,"I don't know what you did before you started acting,but you better go back to doing it!" Well,this young man did not want to go back to laying carpets. This young man's name was James Bumgarner,who later changed his name to....James Garner,movie actor,and the star of the hit TV shows,"Marverick,and "The Rockford Files."

To be able to survive in show business,one has to love it.Also,one has to be able to take rejection. I have been hired as a professional actor. But,I have been rejected more times than being hired. So,when those girls,in my high school,were rejecting me. They did not know,at the time, that they were preparing me for show business.

 

[MehGuy]

No, it's impossible to enjoy pain of any kind. But it is possible to prefer one kind of pain over another. For example, people who cut themselves because they prefer physical pain to the emotional pain that otherwise occupies their minds. "Enjoying" rejection, I think, happens when a person's opinion of himself is very low and he prefers to have that opinion reinforced, over the difficulty of accepting another opinion. Basically, it's a way of shifting responsibility for one's self-image onto other people.

There are people who enjoy pain though, some people physically like the sensation of being hurt. Personally I'm not very good with physical masochism but I have been able to enjoy the feeling of pain sometimes and it is very noticeable. The same could be said for emotional masochism, which I feel very strongly.

Though I will have to say sometimes I wonder if it's real suffering or not, unless you experience it first hand you don't' understand how confusing it can be. I'm happy to call if faux suffering, but I still enjoy rejection even if its not the same thing most people would call rejection.

For me I feel like the feeling is innate, I've had these feelings pretty consistently since I was 3 or 4. My childhood was actually pretty nice, and I did grow up with loving parents and in a healthy environment. My self esteem has dipped and risen throughout the years but I do not see it affecting how I like things like rejection. So I do not think this stems from any trauma though I do realize this stuff can lead to trauma.

I understand what you are saying to be true for many others though, but for many people I think it's the same as someone claiming to born liking the same sex.

 

[MehGuy]

To love and be loved in return is one of the most fundamental human needs. If you don't desire to be loved in return, then you're probably dealing with some deep issues. Using the word "obsessed" didn't help either.

I'd start by asking "why" you feel that way, and just see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

The part in bold has been in my mind a lot lately. I worry that I may be missing out on something vital, but then again I'm starting to come to terms with the idea that the human race is ever evolving and maybe some people are beginning to go into new directions where love isn't as important.

Keep in mind I can still love and feel love in return, it's just that I feel the signal is weak. Also whenever I feel love I look at it as something to use as a weapon to hurt me emotionally further. Part of the reason why I want to love more is so I have a higher place to fall down from.

There is a concern about mental healthiness but sometimes in life you just have to get dirty. Despite all this I do think I have a healthy outlook and mind, I just have to make sure it doesn't get out of control.

Love it. Greatest feeling in the world.

I know you're probably being sarcastic but it is one of my favorite feelings in the world, though the feelings itself can vary. From light to dark.

A little surprised only one person described any affinity to the subject.

 

[toastface_grillah]

Does anyone like being rejected? Like loving another woman or man but not being loved back?

I'm engrossed by this. Honestly being in a loveless marriage is something I always dreamed about as a kid.

I'm just wondering who else feels this way, and do they feel like it gets in the way of relationships with the opposite *or sometimes same-sex?*

I'm starting to think I need to give up on the idea of finding a woman to actually love and just refocus on what I really want. It's unhealthy but least it's living. I'm just emotionally strangling myself otherwise.

No. But the day I change my mind is the day I take a 30-day rubber room vacation.

 

[MehGuy]

No. But the day I change my mind is the day I take a 30-day rubber room vacation.

Hey come on lol, isn't that little drastic.


I think some people don't realize what they actually like.

 

[girlsgotPunk]

Rejection is not something I enjoy, at least not as a fundamental part of a long term relationship.

No, it's impossible to enjoy pain of any kind. But it is possible to prefer one kind of pain over another. For example, people who cut themselves because they prefer physical pain to the emotional pain that otherwise occupies their minds. "Enjoying" rejection, I think, happens when a person's opinion of himself is very low and he prefers to have that opinion reinforced, over the difficulty of accepting another opinion. Basically, it's a way of shifting responsibility for one's self-image onto other people.

Most people find it impossible to enjoy pain, some people cannot find pleasure in anything but. Rejection can be enjoyable for those who find denial pleasurable, this sort of pleasure can get in the way of long-term relationships because outside of a role play situation maintaining a relationship driven by a need to/for rejection can be unsustainable.

Rather than shifting responsibility it may reflect early childhood/teenage experiences that shaped the individuals perception of relationships, love and pleasure. Then there are people who just enjoy it, nothing has gone wrong in their lives, no traumatic events or strange upbringing; they just enjoy what they enjoy. Even some who self harm have grown out of using it as a coping mechanism and into enjoying the pain of self harm itself.

 

[Keri]

No, it's impossible to enjoy pain of any kind. But it is possible to prefer one kind of pain over another. For example, people who cut themselves because they prefer physical pain to the emotional pain that otherwise occupies their minds. "Enjoying" rejection, I think, happens when a person's opinion of himself is very low and he prefers to have that opinion reinforced, over the difficulty of accepting another opinion. Basically, it's a way of shifting responsibility for one's self-image onto other people.

D, that's kind of a blanket statement... you said any kind of pain, but I know that I enjoy physical pain (from body modification... tattoos, piercings, etc.) So it is possible to enjoy some kinds of pain.

As for emotional pain, I've said for a while now that I must be an emotional [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] because I tend to fall for people who are completely wrong for me, let them string me along for a while, then end up hurt. I guess I don't really enjoy it, in fact, I hate it... but it seems to be so habitual, that maybe I enjoy it subconsciously? Idk.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

D, that's kind of a blanket statement... you said any kind of pain, but I know that I enjoy physical pain (from body modification... tattoos, piercings, etc.) So it is possible to enjoy some kinds of pain.

As for emotional pain, I've said for a while now that I must be an emotional [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] because I tend to fall for people who are completely wrong for me, let them string me along for a while, then end up hurt. I guess I don't really enjoy it, in fact, I hate it... but it seems to be so habitual, that maybe I enjoy it subconsciously? Idk.

could be a mechanism inside you regarding your self worth. Choosing and getting hurt by the wrong guys re-inforces how you feel about yourself that you aren't worthy. Even though in your conscious you might say, "NO I don't feel this way" somewhere deep in your heart you might because of something in your past. So sub-consciously you pick the wrong guys HOPING it will be different, but when it isn't and you are hurt again, you say to yourself "See! I knew it!" It's me, it's not them, when really it's the opposite. If that makes any sense.