Does anyone else have this feeling....

[WannaWitness]

When pouring out your hearts to other fellow believers and asking them to pray for you, do you ever get the feeling that they're really judging you?

Just wondering if other people could relate to such a thing.

 

[ramblingokie]

yes, I guess that is why I do not take advantage of prayer like I should/need to do. I know I shouldnt do this but I think I feel this way because that is the what I have done. judged others. hard to let go of the old self. still.....need to take that leap of faith I guess. Please pray for me in letting go of my old self. I will be praying for you WannaWitness and thanks for bringing up something I have been struggling with for a long time. GOD bless.

 

[Brielle00]

When pouring out your hearts to other fellow believers and asking them to pray for you, do you ever get the feeling that they're really judging you?

Just wondering if other people could relate to such a thing.

Yes, this has happened to me. On the brighter side, the experience had taught me a lesson. You can't share everything with everyone.

When you ask for prayer you don't have to share the details of what you are going through. Simply state what you are in need of such as, God's peace, healing, provision, grace, guidance, etc.

A true prayer intercessor will be in tune with the Holy Spirit to pray God's word over your life or circumstances without the intimate details from you.

 

[WannaWitness]

Thanks for the encouragement.

 

[itaf]

This is what the scriptures tell us about these things.

James 5:13 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.
James 5:14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
James 5:15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

We should be able to go to other believers and share our struggles without judgement but with requests for prayer that we may overcome. A mature person in Christ knows the struggles and being tried, that person can also offer scriptural advice that will help others.

"The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

2 Cor 1:3: All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.
2 Cor 1:3:He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

The Lord also comforts us in our times of trouble and trials, so that we can comfort others when they are troubled.

It shouldn't be a time of being judged by others, but an opportunity to apply the word to our lives, and to edify, uplift and comfort our brethren.

 

[jehoiakim]

Yes... and then I left that church and things are much better but seriously some communities are naturally more judgmental then others... however, that doesn't mean every time you are feeling judged you are. It could be a spiritual attack, perhaps you should just be more selective about who you are telling and start with the people you trust the most. Sadly many use prayer requests as an attempt to gossip.

 

[jimfish]

When discerning doctrine, whether one regarding the confessing/sharing of our sins/struggles or anything else, we must apply not just all the Scriptures regarding it, but also the attributes of God, the overview of our present dispensation and plan of God ("Christ in us, the hope of glory"), etc., etc.

In short, we should as NT believers be led by the Spirit in all we do, including when and to whom and to what degree we share of our lives.

If someone's heart is not prepared to hear what we're wanting to say, then our words will bring death to them, and it will be OUR fault. We will have caused a brother or sister to stumble, and even though it was the impurity of THEIR heart whereby they fell, it is accounted TO US as sin (Romans, I Cor.).

In Romans 2 we read how when we judge another, we ourselves are guilty of that sin. It is because the sin we see or suppose to see in them, is also in our own heart. If it were not, their sin or alleged sin would not occur to us, it would not cross our mind (intellectualism scoffs at this).

So, yes, when we confess a sin to another, if the listener's heart is not sufficiently purified, yes of course they will often condemnably judge us. And if they are suppressing in their heart the same sin by some work of the flesh, look out, for then "envy and strife" (KJV) will likely take them over, and....

We must be led by the S(s)pirit in all we do, a main reason why God put it into us.

 

[WannaWitness]

Thanks, everyone, for your input. It's just that when one is dealing with another fellow Christian, a brother/sister in Christ, we would think it would be different. And in a few cases, where one might be very brief in stating the prayer need (even so far as making it "unspoken"), it's sometimes worse because then the judgmental types, with their imaginations running wild, start making assumptions based on stereotypes and false information. In a way, though, they're better off not knowing, and (I'm speaking for myself here, too) we just have to leave such people in the hands of God, and know that they will be dealt with in due time.

Such is human nature -- and I know I'm far from perfect, and have a lot of things to work on myself -- but, sometimes it's just hard to understand what makes some people tick. Judgmental people is just a pet peeve of mine that, with God's help, will get all the more easier to shrug off.

Hope this made sense.

 

[Jamesja]

I have also had that happen to me. There is something that we need to check in our own hearts.

We know that the Bible teaches that we reap what we sow. We often think that we sow now and years later we reap. I wonder if our reaping many times is in the present tense. In other words, the way I am is the way I perceive that others are.

I know that at times people hurt us but another angle to think about.

 

[Alive_Again]

I am deeply humbled whenever someone confesses their sin, not "to me", but they bear their faults out into the light, knowing that they risk judgment or carnal thinking. More often than not, people are struck with the humility and I respect a person far more for their openness and transperancy.

The Holy Spirit often leads you to prayer even if it is not asked for (although maybe to yourself). It brings areas of infirmity or weakness out into the light.

God honors faith, and even if the person hearing this "confession" or admission of sin is basically what we might think of as unworthy to hear it (with unrepentant sin in their own life), God will often move to deliver and restore based on the believer's compliance with the Word.

Demonic spirits hate having things brought out into the light and will often fight to keep this from happening with feelings of shame or profound guilt. The thoughts of people judging you might also be from the enemy. If God shows you that other people are simply judging you, it won't have a sense of condemnation with it. If it is a spirit speaking in the background you can either ignore it or bind it up (no doubt better) in the name of Jesus and get on with the beauty of repentance and the restoring power of the good news.

 

[WannaWitness]

I'm not necessarily talking about requesting prayer regarding a struggle with certain sins or weaknesses. I'm talking more about asking someone for prayer regarding general trials and/or afflictions one might be going through at any given time. I mean, a person can request prayer from another believer regarding, say a sickness, or a financial difficulty, and sometimes these have been known to fall on the ears of someone who, rather than pray, are just quick to assume things as to what the one who requested prayer "possibly did that was sinful or foolish to bring on the affliction" without knowing the situation. I mean those sort of people who have something of an "if-you're-suffering-you-must-have-done-something-wrong" or "you-must-not-be-right-with-God" type attitude. Like the so-called "friends" of Job (and we know what a just and Godly man he was) who spent more time sitting there wagging their pointing fingers at him rather than encouraging him and praying with him.

Hope this is a little more clear.

 

[Alive_Again]

People should be judging the words for indicators of truth. Our words locate us and sometimes it is uncomfortable to even hear ourselves speak of our situations. Often they are of our own making. It's good to encourage one another with the Word and a word in due season, how good it is!

I can talk about my own situation with anyone, but when reviewing with a believer, it seems to manifest truth about itself just by bringing it up. I often see where I've missed it. Wise counsel is a beautiful thing and I desire it just thinking about it. Also, a multitude of counselors is a safe place.

In judging someone elses words, people often manifest a spiritual bondage where someone took offense, spoke words of unrighteous judgment over themselves or others, etc. Many times the person speaking will know while they're talking/complaining/sharing(!) where they are missing it, or at least how to get out of the snare they've fallen into.

The fault is not that people run into problems, it's whether or not it robs your peace and joy. As a dear woman of God once said, "Once your joy is gone, it's over!"

 

[redwngsfan019]

I have this fear, there are some stuff I want to talk to my pastor about and my friends at church about some stuff I've been doing lately but won't because I'm scared of their response.

 

[stormdancer0]

I have this fear, there are some stuff I want to talk to my pastor about and my friends at church about some stuff I've been doing lately but won't because I'm scared of their response.

Perfectly understandable. My pastor has let me know that he will talk with me about anything, but if I desire serious counseling for a spiritual matter, he would like to refer me to another pastor.

That way, I am speaking to a man of God, who will guide me, but not with someone who I have a relationship with. All this is not because my pastor doesn't want to help me, but because of my own fear of changing the way he looks at me.

I have a couple of prayer partners with whom I can speak openly and freely about all things, and they do the same with me. If you can find someone you can trust, who will love you and help guide you no matter what, then you could just speak to him or her. While we are advised to confess our sins one to another, we DO NOT have to share all things with every Christian we know.

 

[DCJazz]

I knew a man once who had himself and his whole family 'kicked out' of the church we used to go to when I was a kid. By the pastor.
All because the man couldn't stay awake during the sermon, and snored slightly. And he did it in such a way as to seem superior.

A few people in that church had this air of 'superiority', that is, they judged everything and everyone. And to this day I'm not sure if that pastor preaches for God or himself. It kind of ruined that church for me. I try not to judge him but I just tend to avoid that building now, to avoid any sort of problem I might cause in anger or irritation.
Our family had left that church after that one incident, and a few other incidents as well (aka drama). It ended up being a good move for us, since they still go to the same church in a nearby town to this day.

So you never know... I doubt my bad experiences are anything like yours, but just saying we all go through these sorts of things.

 

[WannaWitness]

I knew a man once who had himself and his whole family 'kicked out' of the church we used to go to when I was a kid. By the pastor.
All because the man couldn't stay awake during the sermon, and snored slightly. And he did it in such a way as to seem superior.

Really?! Sorry to hear that. I mean, didn't it occur to the pastor that maybe (the key word, here) this person who fell asleep in church had a health problem, or perhaps worn out from strenuous work? It could have been a number of things; I don't know the situation. But, at least the family made an effort to show up to church. That's what should count.

It seems to me that all of us in this forum have had (and know others who have had) ugly experiences involving other fellow believers stemming from nothing but a misunderstanding, misinformation, and assumptions. Actually pretty sad (and just think how it must look to those who are unsaved!), but nevertheless something we just should pray about. People are going to be the way they are, unless God moves in their hearts.

I've really been appreciating everyone's input; it does help.

 

[jimfish]

As I just posted on another thread, one of the main reasons God commands us to go to church is to stretch us. Jesus summed it up in the first half of John 15. No matter what congregation we find, eventually we will uncover hypocrites, judgmentalists, speakers who speak because they love the sound of their own voice etc. (AKA "selfish ambitions"), and other unlovables. Then the Word commands us to Love them (not necessarily face to face, as some are best loved from a distance), pray for them, forgive them, ask God to forgive and bless them, etc. ONLY possible if we go back to the Throne of Grace for more Grace, until we've become as Jesus, perfected and walking in His Love and other Fruits of the Spirit: "Christ in us, the hope of glory."

 

[Crusader knight]

In the "churches" I attended in the past, they were essentially social clubs. Confessing anything was giving free "dirty laundry" to the gossip machine. I discovered early on in my Christian life, that God was cool, but I didn't trust his people very much. I confess my sins to Holy God, not to man. This forum will be my "church." I may need to start attending some brick and mortar church for the sake of my family, but I'm not optimistic about that prospect. ++CK++

 

[jsimms615]

Yes, I can relate to that. Sometimes I test people with something little and if they show they can keep it confidential then I will tell them more. I don't automatically assume I can trust them because they are in church or in a leadership position.

 

[B-74]

Yes, i get that feeling a lot of the time, people are awful. But then again i'm a person, and i have done my share of judging too. So i guess i'll need to forgive them when they do it to me. Sometimes that is easier said than done though.