Does anyone else feel like....

[trulyliving]

.... does anyone else feel like it would be very hard to adjust to another person as a spouse, being that you're now in your 30's and you've already made your life the way it is (ie. esp. if you have a kid), like who ever you meet would have to really fit well into your life, more so than when you were in your 20's?

If so, and you're dating, how the heck did you meet someone? Did you have to let go of someone because although you as a person liked them alot, they just didn't fit with your life the way it is?

 

[Cassie76]

I couldn't adjust to someone else's lifestyle and I dont think my daughter could either. I dont think I would ever try nor do I want to.

 

[JPPT1974]

It all depends on if this person
Meets our needs or if we meet their needs.
Only time will tell the way I look at it.

 

[LordSummerisle]

.... does anyone else feel like it would be very hard to adjust to another person as a spouse, being that you're now in your 30's and you've already made your life the way it is (ie. esp. if you have a kid), like who ever you meet would have to really fit well into your life, more so than when you were in your 20's?

If so, and you're dating, how the heck did you meet someone? Did you have to let go of someone because although you as a person liked them alot, they just didn't fit with your life the way it is?

Absolutely. I moved away from home when I was 18, I'm now 35. Although I've had a number of relationships, I've lived alone (by choice!) for much of that time. I'm quite the social butterfly, but I also love my own space. I'm so used to it that I think I'd really struggle with sharing with another person, to be honest.

I think the older you get, and the longer you live alone, the harder it becomes to change that. Inevitably, you become a little selfish and stuck in your ways. I reckon that if I don't settle down by the time I'm 40, I probably never will!

 

[trulyliving]

I couldn't adjust to someone else's lifestyle and I dont think my daughter could either. I dont think I would ever try nor do I want to.

Yeh, I think the adjustment would have to be 2 ways to be fair, but it would be a miracle to even meet someone who would fit in my life.

It all depends on if this person
Meets our needs or if we meet their needs.
Only time will tell the way I look at it.

Yah, a give and take, huh? but if we took too much of their time, or they took too much of ours, only to find out it wouldn't work, that would really sock (are we allowed to say that word here?)

Absolutely. I moved away from home when I was 18, I'm now 35. Although I've had a number of relationships, I've lived alone (by choice!) for much of that time. I'm quite the social butterfly, but I also love my own space. I'm so used to it that I think I'd really struggle with sharing with another person, to be honest.

I think the older you get, and the longer you live alone, the harder it becomes to change that. Inevitably, you become a little selfish and stuck in your ways. I reckon that if I don't settle down by the time I'm 40, I probably never will!

ugh.... that sounds depressing. i feel like i'm headed for that same path sometimes and i'm close to your age. it's not so much i'm stuck in my ways, i just have circumstances, like a child and other things, that are a big part of my life stage, yet i know that these will all involve major life changes in the future and i would just not want to be alone when they happen, ...ugh... not dating much though, but i just hardly meet guys i think i'd like to see often. hmmm. maybe i am stuck in my ways already, gulp!

 

[diaz4jesus]

no such thing as stuck in your ways... the Lord gives us all new and exciting things with challenges as well, but He will equip you with what you need to make those changes. i was 23 and a single mother when i married and it was an amazing and yet the hardest transition ever. now 7 years later, i am in awe of how He has given me the strenght to change.

 

[trulyliving]

no such thing as stuck in your ways... the Lord gives us all new and exciting things with challenges as well, but He will equip you with what you need to make those changes. i was 23 and a single mother when i married and it was an amazing and yet the hardest transition ever. now 7 years later, i am in awe of how He has given me the strenght to change.

Hi, thanks for your encouragement... i hope so... i just notice that it's harder to be flexible (mostly cuz not everything is in my control) when you're in your 30's than when when you're in your 20's. I think life factors and stages have alot to do with it. but i do believe God is able to work out the kinks... it just seems to get harder and harder to meet the right fit.

 

[JPPT1974]

I will be 33 next Wednesday
So age does have a mellow affect
Give and/or take.

 

[JPPT1974]

Well I am 33-years old now
Feel like I am at my peak
But just getting started!

 

[swee]

.... does anyone else feel like it would be very hard to adjust to another person as a spouse, being that you're now in your 30's and you've already made your life the way it is

YES. I pray it isn't so because I don't want to be alone for the rest of my human life.

 

[JPPT1974]

I am never alone without the Lord
He is there with me!

 

[FreeSpirit74]

I think the older you get, and the longer you live alone, the harder it becomes to change that. Inevitably, you become a little selfish and stuck in your ways. I reckon that if I don't settle down by the time I'm 40, I probably never will!

Well, I lived with my parents until I was 26, because I was in college, and then I worked for 1.5 years before moving out. All that time, even in my 20's, it was "our house, our rules". I respect that, but after a while I really wanted my own space, so I moved out (it was time). I've had my own apartment since 2001, with all my own stuff, decorated the way I want it to be (with candles in every room for starters!), I can leave the bathroom door open when I... well, anyway...

I just turned 33 last week and, at this point in my life, I really don't care whether or not I ever find someone. It's not the biggest focus in my view right now. I like the fact that I can go where I want to, when I want, with who I want. I have a rather close male buddy who comes over on a regular basis (he's been my "life counselor" for the past 3 years) and, quite frankly, I LOVE the fact that I don't have to deal with a boyfriend's jealousy that I am close to "another man" and am "entertaining him" at my apartment.

I think, at this point, any guy who would (be crazy enough to) want to be with me would have to offer me the moon and then some for me to even consider giving up what I have now to be with him.

 

[ladyinwaiting16]

I was so scared i would never meet anyone in my late 20's, I finally made my mind up I would live my life for the Lord. By serving Him My fiance was able to find me and see who I was really like. I was 30 when we met, a month later I turned 31. We never asked each other how old the other person for a month. After getting engaged I was afraid I would not be able to change certain habits, such as not wanting to cook and clean. But it seems by knowing he wanted to marry me for who I was and not anything else; made me want to change some habits. My fiance has already told me we are getting a dishwasher to help me do the dishes. LOL!!!

 

[JPPT1974]

Your fiance sounds like a true
Gentleman indeed my friend!

 

[trulyliving]

It's nice to read about other people's experiences. I just think it's harder to meet someone you're compatible with in the 30's than in the 20's. But the testimonies that some of you have shared are awesome and encouraging. I don't feel desperate just because I'm in my thirties, I just notice that it's harder to meet someone. Thanks for sharing, and pls contine to share if anyone else has any more testimonies..

 

[JPPT1974]

At times like these, I am glad that
I am not in my twenties anymore
You are more balanced in your thirties.

 

[trulyliving]

At times like these, I am glad that
I am not in my twenties anymore
You are more balanced in your thirties.

Amen to that.... glad the dramas over, its like how i felt about adolesence when i was in my 20's

 

[Lena75]

That's why you get married in your early 20's!

 

[JPPT1974]

Amen to that.... glad the dramas over, its like how i felt about adolesence when i was in my 20's

Adolesence is a pain in the rear
If ya know what I mean!

 

[sampa]

.... does anyone else feel like it would be very hard to adjust to another person as a spouse, being that you're now in your 30's and you've already made your life the way it is (ie. esp. if you have a kid), like who ever you meet would have to really fit well into your life, more so than when you were in your 20's?

I'm not too worried about it. I've become more accepting of others ways than what I was when I was younger. As far as set in my ways, I don't think so, I think I know myself better and understand why I like things a certain way. In a relationship, I pray that I will be able to compromise certain things. I believe the Lord's timing is perfect.