Does anyone care?

[samanthau]

Ive been going through rejection since I was a little girl. I lived with my mother up until the age 12. She would drink constantly, and fight with her boyfriend constantly. We lived in a 3 room house with no bathroom so I was constantly teased by the kids and was always ashamed of my situation. Along with that I was molested when I was 8 by my friends brother which was 17. No charges were pressed against him on top of that I had to get on the same bus with him and he had people to tease me or not talk to me because I revealed what he did. Fast forward I moved with my father at 12 I had a lot of anger in me but somehow I got through my middle and high school years without this effecting me or I believe I was just able to cover this up over the years.

I'm now in my thirties with two kids and recently divorced, not where I want too be in life compared to my peers and I'm depressed and very anxious all of the time. I find it hard to trust men and think they are out to use me. Im having some social anxiety which is stating to interfere with my everyday life working, communicating, and relating to others. I have became so accustomed to holding things in because when I try to explain things to others they don't get it. All my mom does is tells me what I'm doing wrong or always try to make me feel guilty when in reality I should be the one upset with her but I try to maintain respect and keep a forgiving spirit. I feel alone and feel that no one cares or hears me, what's the point going on each day with this torture. I attend church, pray but find these anxieties to still linger day after day. I'm tired. My kids are the drive to keep me going but I have to get well soon and I know I cant do it alone. Have anyone tried counseling/medication? Any suggestions or Christian advice?

 

[miss-a]

I got cousel from my pastor and was on medication for a couple of years. I now use natural supplements, but at the time the depression was the worst, they did not seem to help. When I was depressed it was very serious. I honestly began believing it was over for me. I couldn't hear or feel God. I now, looking back, believe that was because my physiology was working against me. When the meds kicked in it was like night and day. My emotions stablized and I began to be able to reason things out again, hear the Lord and exercise my faith again, and heal from some very serious wounds.

I never had any side effects while on the medication, by God's grace, and He's led me for a long time to keep my diet cleaned-up: No sugar or refined foods, eating whole foods, staying hydrated with plenty of filtered water, avoiding caffeine. I think that helped me a lot as well.

I think seeing a doc and seeing a Christian counselor, or pastor, as I did, is an advisable route for anyone suffering from depression. It's definitely important to get these issues out into God's light and healed.

Sticking around on this forum also helped me a great deal. There are many wonderful, loving, praying folks here. We're glad you're here, too. Please keep us updated. I'm sending you a private messages.
Prayers for you,
a

 

[jsimms3]

Ive been going through rejection since I was a little girl. I lived with my mother up until the age 12. She would drink constantly, and fight with her boyfriend constantly. We lived in a 3 room house with no bathroom so I was constantly teased by the kids and was always ashamed of my situation. Along with that I was molested when I was 8 by my friends brother which was 17. No charges were pressed against him on top of that I had to get on the same bus with him and he had people to tease me or not talk to me because I revealed what he did. Fast forward I moved with my father at 12 I had a lot of anger in me but somehow I got through my middle and high school years without this effecting me or I believe I was just able to cover this up over the years.

I'm now in my thirties with two kids and recently divorced, not where I want too be in life compared to my peers and I'm depressed and very anxious all of the time. I find it hard to trust men and think they are out to use me. Im having some social anxiety which is stating to interfere with my everyday life working, communicating, and relating to others. I have became so accustomed to holding things in because when I try to explain things to others they don't get it. All my mom does is tells me what I'm doing wrong or always try to make me feel guilty when in reality I should be the one upset with her but I try to maintain respect and keep a forgiving spirit. I feel alone and feel that no one cares or hears me, what's the point going on each day with this torture. I attend church, pray but find these anxieties to still linger day after day. I'm tired. My kids are the drive to keep me going but I have to get well soon and I know I cant do it alone. Have anyone tried counseling/medication? Any suggestions or Christian advice?

Trauma always comes out though it may stay hidden for a while if we try to ignore it. I would suggest trying to find a good christian counselor to deal with the experiences you had as a child. Sounds like they continue to give you pain.

 

[sarahelizabeth]

I am praying for you <3

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I'm praying for you.

God Bless you

 

[samanthau]

I'm new to this forum but its wonderful to see the support and encouragement from people you have never met. Im definitely looking into counseling its kind off scary because I have to open up my heart to some hurtful issues but I know it's the only way to heal hopefully with the help of God. Its even more difficult when you don't have support from people around you. But thank you all for your support and encouragement.
Miss-A thank you also for the helpful information you sent me.
God bless you all

 

[gardensparrow]

Oh, I just caught this post and my heart goes out to you friend. I'm so sorry you've faced so many difficulties in your life. And it's totally understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed right now. But, I'm glad you seem ready to reach out for some help and support. It's so important not to go through this alone. And, as the others mentioned, definitely look into some counseling. Perhaps talk to your doctor and or your pastor and see if they have some recommendations? Also, a support group may be helpful. I know groups like Celebrate Recovery are often available at local churches and may help you connect with others in your shoes. Or, if you're a reader, there's a lot of great books out there on working through the problems in your past. Maybe look into something like The Wounded Heart by Dan B. Allender or Changes that Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud? Just some thoughts to consider. But, most of all, I just wanted to say I'm praying for you. I know the Lord has a plan and a future for your life (Jeremiah 29:11), so don't give up hope!

 

[BlessedMommy05]

Hello and welcome to CF if you're new here. I know how it is to have been through similar situations and dealt with divorce, molestation even though as an adult I don't remember much of it, but had a lot of verbal and emotional abuse as a kid and physical (even though I cant evidence physical) anyway. I know how it is to pick up life and hold things in because no one seems to understand nor walk a mile or so in our shoes to truly get the pain and heartache we carry. There's few who do, but its sad that those who do "understand" are so far away, around the world and we wish to God there's one or two around and say "its ok, you'll get through this" and yes it shall pass, but its also hard to see the bigger picture of events in our life that seems to be in the darkness and no light..


I do believe in finding the right counsel, weather it be a minister, priest or what ever your faith is to be, and yet the best counsel is God's word and prayer. But yes I agree talking it out with someone who can perhaps understand or be an listening ear for us..

Often medication can help, but many according to their beliefs don't want to take medication but in all honesty it can "help" but often have to test with your Primary Dr. approval and see what works, since our bodies are so different from one another some will help and aid with anxiety, depression, PTSD and many other issues Seek your Primary Dr., and see what he/she says and explain what you're needing.

I know how hard it is to bottle up emotions and be there strong for our children, I have 1 child as you can see from my signature. Its often he's my "main" reason I'm alive and trying so hard with God on my side and find open doors as they come n go . Its a saying a door may close but there's a window open.. Means find blessings in small things, even do a journal of what good went on in that day or moment, hour. Some times in the dark times we cant see what good has gone on around us because we cant see past the moment. Take things slow and hour by hour if that's to much, do a second by second. We're here for you as you explore and post in the forum... Big Hugs!

 

[knw1991]

im so sorry about the pain you have faced. you are a fighter, i will be praying for you <3

 

[Annie2]

"does anyone care?"

I suppose the question is rhetorical... by now, we KNOW nobody cares, but G-d. Only, He's very demanding, asking us to make our way through life, no matter how hard it gets.
But I'm not doing well with it, not at all. Today it's my birthday. I'm old as the stars above. I write here today, because I got this reminder (of b-day from the admin of CF), alhough I haven't visited this forum for two years.
I see my mood is "lonely" - well, nothing has changed in 2 years, only I've grown older and more weary. Today has been a day of crying, one of the many.
My life is all about abuse, neglect, abandoning, rejection, loneliness... and repeat that a few times. :''-(
G-d is tough, must say. Tough love.
I still live in hope G-d will soon take me away from here.

 

[gardensparrow]

"does anyone care?"

I suppose the question is rhetorical... by now, we KNOW nobody cares, but G-d. Only, He's very demanding, asking us to make our way through life, no matter how hard it gets.
But I'm not doing well with it, not at all. Today it's my birthday. I'm old as the stars above. I write here today, because I got this reminder (of b-day from the admin of CF), alhough I haven't visited this forum for two years.
I see my mood is "lonely" - well, nothing has changed in 2 years, only I've grown older and more weary. Today has been a day of crying, one of the many.
My life is all about abuse, neglect, abandoning, rejection, loneliness... and repeat that a few times. :''-(
G-d is tough, must say. Tough love.
I still live in hope G-d will soon take me away from here.

Hi Annie~

I'm glad you decided to post here and I'm sorry you're feeling so sad today. I know birthdays can be bittersweet and it's hard when it seems like time is going by so fast. And I think all of us can relate to the feeling that life doesn't always turn out the way we thought it would. But, I know the Lord doesn't want us to live hopeless lives. He wants to be our hope and refuge in life's storms. Of course, I know that's easier said than done and it's ok to feel sadness at times-I know I have!

But, if you're interested, I've found a lot of encouragement on Joni Eareckson Tada's website. I'm not sure if you're familiar with her, but she's written some great material on suffering and feelings of hopelessness. So, if you have a moment you might want to look through her blog/radio segments, or even some of her books.

Of course, the best source of comfort is God's Word, so I encourage you to dive in there when you're struggling. In fact, I'll leave you with a passage I've always loved. ((Hugs))

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:19-23​

 

[Annie2]

thanks gardensparrow <3
Yes, I know (about) Joni. But G-d has lifted her so that she's made a successful life. She has FRIENDS, and HUSBAND.
I have nothing. A week before my birthday I left a prayer request on a website (I don't have any friends, there's nobody in real life to pray for me - how pathetic is that!), asking that I could share my birthday with someone, ANYONE, even a total stranger, young or old. Just to remind me that I'm a human being who is able to communicate, talk. Now it's evening here where I live, and so far nothing, nobody to connect with even for a few minutes.
I'm not going to whine to some church worker, who is in hurry to get back to his/her family. I expect G-d to interfere, personally. If He won't - no can do. He's the One with power.

 

[SMacGregor]

Why are negative emotions so impacting? The answer is because they are so easily remembered and relived!
This emotional “baggage” can be a real curse. We can often let it hang around in our mind creating further negativity.

It is extremely important to express your feelings and talk about events. This can be done with friends or with a counsellor. Look at the consequences of internalising or pushing down negative feelings.

 

[gardensparrow]

thanks gardensparrow <3
Yes, I know (about) Joni. But G-d has lifted her so that she's made a successful life. She has FRIENDS, and HUSBAND.
I have nothing. A week before my birthday I left a prayer request on a website (I don't have any friends, there's nobody in real life to pray for me - how pathetic is that!), asking that I could share my birthday with someone, ANYONE, even a total stranger, young or old. Just to remind me that I'm a human being who is able to communicate, talk. Now it's evening here where I live, and so far nothing, nobody to connect with even for a few minutes.
I'm not going to whine to some church worker, who is in hurry to get back to his/her family. I expect G-d to interfere, personally. If He won't - no can do. He's the One with power.

Thanks for writing back, Annie. I know it's impossible to compare our own struggles with anyone else's. Every situation is unique and only God knows the encouragement you need to hear today. So, I'll be praying that He'll minister to you in a special way and let you know how much He loves and cares for you. Also, I second SMacGregor's suggestion of talking with a counselor and working through all of these emotions you're feeling. I know that's not an easy step to take, but it can truly make a huge difference. And, if you're not ready to meet someone face to face there's ministries out there that have counseling lines. I know from working at Focus on the Family that they have therapists available over the phone (1/800-A-FAMILY) or Dawson McCallister's organization has a hopeline (1-800-394-4673). I think even Joni's ministry may have counseling available ((818) 707-5664). So, just some things to think about. In the meantime, know that someone out there is thinking of you and praying for you!

 

[SplendidTree]

Praying for you.