Do you think it's reasonable for my husband to do his own ironing

[Romanseight2005]

I have nothing that doesn't go into the dryer, even if it says dry clean only, or lay flat to dry, etc. Our dryer has settings that make it able to use for pretty much everything. I have some really nice dresses, but I didn't pay a lot for them, so I am not willing to strain myself caring for them. Furthermore, they look great. They haven't lost vibrancy, nor are they wrinkled or torn.

 

[Joy Fisher]

I work away from home half time, while my husband works from home half the day. Practically though, I am away from home, working, a lot more than him. He does most of the houshold chores. He cooks 80% of the time, cleans 90% of the time. I bring home all the bacon, so to speak. He never irons his clothes, and I don't iron his clothes, either. He wears wrinkled clothes...because he is working at home, he doesn't care about it. It doesn't sound like your husband is earning much of an income...does he really need his clothes ironed? I would just have a frank conversation with him, explaining to him how you use your time, and pointing out that you really have to give up on your sleep if he wants you to iron his stuff. My husband can't iron, so if he needed anything ironed, I would do it. But then I would probably "trade chores" with him. We do it all the time. "You clean up, I will give the kids a bath", etc. As long as the one isn't sitting watching tv and the other one is working...then resentment sets in. It all comes down to good communication...

 

[JaneFW]

This sounds like a really stupid question but the background in our marriage is we have 2 children aged 9 and 5. I have been mostly stay at home mum since my eldest was born. I have always done a few jobs here and there for extra pocket money but not normally more than 5 hours a week. At the end of last year I started working a lot outside the home, I am currently averaging 30 hours/week plus studying towards a teaching degree. I am finding between work/study/family committments I am struggling to get the ironing done. This was not a problem this time last year, I did all the housework because I felt it was just part of what I did, and I had the time to manage to squeeze it in somewhere. I can't help feeling just a little guilty about not doing it though.

Just wondering how other couples where both partners are working manage to split the household chores.

Although the other part of this, is that currently dh is still sort of working on finding a job... Right now, he is trying to build up a business, but doesn't earn a lot of income from it...

Just really what everyone else has said - talk about it. My h has always ironed his clothes, because in boot camp he learned how to iron, and so he always starched and ironed his uniform, and that has carried over to civilian life (just the ironing, not the starching!) It's very rare that we need to iron anything because we have a huge tumble dryer that irons out every wrinkle, but on the few occasions that we are dressed up in something that needs other care than the dryer, my h will get out the iron. I will say that my 18yo also irons his own stuff, but a younger child would need a lot of supervision.

 

[dallasapple]

Having been the stay at home parent for a time in our marriage, I can say without a doubt that given the choice, I'd gladly stay at home and do ALL of the domestic stuff over having to go to a job every day.

I think part of why the domestic stuff is seen as such drudgery is that it really is never done. By the time the laundry's finished, there's another load ready and waiting and the same with dishes. But I think that this idea that it's an overwhelming amount of work that can't possibly be kept up with in the course of a day is nonsense.

Well thats good that you know that having done it for a "time"..But I would disagree..DEPENDING on how many children you have and their ages..coming from someone who has done it for more than a "time"..it isnt nonsense that it cant always get done in the course of a day.

Especially because ya'll are talkign about stuff like "laundrey"..Im including having a "clean house"..by that I mean ..clean walls and ceiling fans..clean floors(includign grout)..clean windows and woodwork and furniture..organized as in dejunking... and its not just housework..grocery shopping for 5 people with at peak(for me) at least one child in tow...appointments for 3 children doctors dentists teacher meetings..homework with the kids..dinner for 5?..

In can never all be done..or lets put it this way..it takes the course of all day to then start over the next day and no its never complete..never all done at once..and its exausting work PHYSICALLY and mentally...And thats NOT including as Faith pointed out you have to socialize/spend "quality" time with kids at home..

Its not as simple as "laundrey and dishes"..its stained porceline..dirty mirrors..clutter..dusty furniture....drip marks and crud inside the refridgerator and freezer...dusty blinds..jumping in and out of the car to pick someone up or drop someone off .or get to an appontiment....takign inventory and keeping a runnign list of things to get at the grocery...if a baby is in tow??havign constantly to have one eye on that one..not to mention having to try and plan much around that particular ones nap time..etc..

Again it depends on the size of your family and ages..things even like if you have one vehicle or two..Getting "behind" because of something unexpected..like a child being ill...or an extended family member needing you....Saying its "nonsense" that it cant be accomplished in one day to me means you havent done it for long..or you really didnt accomplish as much as you thought..

But yeah if you are talking about loading and unloading the dishwasher ..and keeping the laundrey basket as empty as possible..Sure that can be accomplished in one day.

I personally though dont like fur growing under the bed..or dirty lampshades...or clothes and shoes stuffed in closets and drawers that the kids have outgrown..(lest I become a horder)..or a filthy garage floor..etc...its far more than laundrey and dishes.

Dallas

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

I don't even think my wife and I own an iron .

Oh wait, yes we do, I found it. I honestly can't remember the last time either of us used it...

 

[JaneFW]

HA HA! True story: we iron so rarely, that when I was once ironing darned cotton shirts (grrrr) for the boys, our middle son (then perhaps 5) came up and asked me "mom, are you warming up our shirts for us?" That's how little he knew what an iron was for.

 

[waxlion10]

Blind post:
No, I don't think it's unreasonable for your husband to do his own ironing. Does he think it's unreasonable?

Both DH and I work right now. He works 30-40 hours per week, and I've just recently obtained a long-term substitute teaching position in which I'm working every day (and having to do some planning and grading), on top of my two tutoring jobs and my twice-a-month cleaning job. I'm also taking an online Spanish class.

I do most of the chores around the house because I'm better at them/have higher standards My definition of "clean" and DH's are so different! However, if I ever ask DH to do anything, he does it (dishes, vacuum, clean the bathroom, make the bed, whatever). He's so great when it comes to helping out when I ask him to.

He's taken this entire week off for vacation (he gets paid vacation) and has been taking care of the dishes and making the bed while I've been working every day.

So basically, it just kind of depends upon what needs to be done and who has the time to do it. I feel like I "do a lot more stuff" than DH because I'm Type A, so sometimes I get resentful of him. But then I stop and think, "Did I ask him to help me, or am I just expecting him to notice things and do them? Am I being too much of a Martha and not enough of a Mary?"

Clear communication with your DH is the best way to come to an agreement with him, I think.

 

[waxlion10]

P.S. I use Downey Wrinkle Release Spray on a lot of our mildly wrinkled clothes, and it works great... I hate ironing

 

[JaneFW]

I don't think that people from other countries use the tumble dryer to the extent we use it here. My sister, who lives in England, dries her clothes outdoors other than when it is freezing or raining. She cannot imagine that we here, with the intense heat for 10 months of the year, use a tumble dryer constantly. I told her "only in America."

 

[chaz345]

I don't think that people from other countries use the tumble dryer to the extent we use it here. My sister, who lives in England, dries her clothes outdoors other than when it is freezing or raining. She cannot imagine that we here, with the intense heat for 10 months of the year, use a tumble dryer constantly. I told her "only in America."

Growing up in Vermont my mom used to line dry year round. Things will dry when they are frozen. Freeze dried bedsheets actually feel amazing.

 

[FaithPrevails]

I don't think that people from other countries use the tumble dryer to the extent we use it here. My sister, who lives in England, dries her clothes outdoors other than when it is freezing or raining. She cannot imagine that we here, with the intense heat for 10 months of the year, use a tumble dryer constantly. I told her "only in America."

If I had a clothesline I would totally use it.

 

[dallasapple]

I don't think that people from other countries use the tumble dryer to the extent we use it here. My sister, who lives in England, dries her clothes outdoors other than when it is freezing or raining. She cannot imagine that we here, with the intense heat for 10 months of the year, use a tumble dryer constantly. I told her "only in America."

We hang dry everything but of course stuff like socks and towels /jeans and the guys boxers...(my underwear I lay on top of the dryer when its running because they are more delicate)..or old "junk clothes"..like ragged shorts and tops that I might wear to clean in ..or old "hang around the house" clothes..oh and sheets...

Anyway..my sister and I figured out a LONG time ago..that hang drying is far less wear and tear on the clothing..Drying the clothes(with a tumble dryer) fades them faster and of course causes shrinkage..I even hang dry my P.J's..In fact I DELIBERATEY just dried 2 brand new shirts I got from Old Navy..intentionally trying to shrink them a bit..I love the shirts..but I was in between the sizes..LOL!!..Like the size down too small..but the size up a tad too big..Anyway it WORKED..I washed them on gentle..then tumble dried them on high heat like halfway..and they shrunk just a little..

I dont hang dry much outside..Maybe a comforter..or a jacket like a hoodie..I hang them in mine and my husbands bathroom.

And of course..Its nice to know thats one "earth friendly" thing to do as well...everybody wins..Not to mention it saves us money on electric which around here is OUTRAGEOUS.

Dallas

 

[FaithPrevails]

Now this thread is making me want a clothesline.

 

[dallasapple]

Now this thread is making me want a clothesline.

Seriously Faith..It really does preserve the colors in your clothes..And even if they don't keep shrinking a lot..they do shrink little by little..

I knew this just by the evidence..but I..being the "type' LOL!!Just looked it up..and I didnt even know this..but hang drying keeps clothes softer..I would have thought the other way around because freshly hung dried the clothes seem "crisp"..but right there on Wikepedia it says hang drying keeps them softer because it preserves the fibers..the clothes lose less fiber..that makes since because whats that wad of lint all about anyway?Its tiny peices of fiber being ripped out ...

But I wouldnt have a "clothesline"..LOL!!..I dont know I dont think my neighbors would appreciate it..I hang them in the house..in our bathroom in our bedroom..

Dallas

 

[c1ners]

Seriously Faith..It really does preserve the colors in your clothes..And even if they don't keep shrinking a lot..they do shrink little by little..

I knew this just by the evidence..but I..being the "type' LOL!!Just looked it up..and I didnt even know this..but hang drying keeps clothes softer..I would have thought the other way around because freshly hung dried the clothes seem "crisp"..but right there on Wikepedia it says hang drying keeps them softer because it preserves the fibers..the clothes lose less fiber..that makes since because whats that wad of lint all about anyway?Its tiny peices of fiber being ripped out ...

But I wouldnt have a "clothesline"..LOL!!..I dont know I dont think my neighbors would appreciate it..I hang them in the house..in our bathroom in our bedroom..

Dallas

Don't they drip and make big puddles all over?

 

[FaithPrevails]

I used to hang dry my clothes and then tumble them on low to fluff them up from being "crisp" off the line. I found that by the time one load was done washing, the one I hung up before it was dry. It made for a good assembly line approach to laundry.

I don't know that I have any space to hang up all the wash we do in a week, though. I think my shower curtain rod would fall down!

Thinking about it, though, my stupid HOA probably has rules about clotheslines. Yet another reason I want to move (mostly I want to move to get a bigger house, though lol).

 

[dallasapple]

Don't they drip and make big puddles all over?

No..they are spinned in the washer first..they are wet..and heavy but not "dripping" wet..the spinning gets that part done..Even if they did drip a little bit..Im hanging them in the bathroom..but I have never noticed any ..let alone "puddles"...

Dallas

 

[dallasapple]

I used to hang dry my clothes and then tumble them on low to fluff them up from being "crisp" off the line. I found that by the time one load was done washing, the one I hung up before it was dry. It made for a good assembly line approach to laundry.

I don't know that I have any space to hang up all the wash we do in a week, though. I think my shower curtain rod would fall down!

Thinking about it, though, my stupid HOA probably has rules about clotheslines. Yet another reason I want to move (mostly I want to move to get a bigger house, though lol).

Well somehow with four people here..we have the space..But I do have time I admit..to do a load or two of laundrey everyday if need be..I dont end up haivng to do 3 or 4 or more loads of laundrey in one day.......Unless I wash all the bedding and throw rugs and such..which by the way .we hang the throw rugs over the patio chairs outside..and the comforters and quilts over the fence..But those only get washed maybe once or twice a month..

Like I can wash say a load of light colors in the morning and hang those..then a load of towels and underwear and stuff(that I can dry and put away)...in the morning..then by the evening the hang dried load is dry..I put those away..and wash a load of dark..that I hang dry before bed..that will be dried and ready to put away by morning.So "technically" even with only one small area to hang dry..(the shower curtain bar in our bathroom)..I can get 3 loads of clothes washed a day..and that more than keeps up with it..There are days when no laundrey at all needs to be done.

Dallas

 

[FaithPrevails]

I was wondering about the puddles, too.

Well somehow with four people here..we have the space..But I do have time I admit..to do a load or two of laundrey everyday if need be..I dont end up haivng to do 3 or 4 or more loads of laundrey in one day..thats whey the "thick stuff" such as hoodies or swetshirts......Unless I wash all the bedding and throw rugs and such..which by the way .we hang the throw rugs over the patio chairs outside..and the comforters and quilts over the fence..But those only get washed maybe once or twice a month..

Like I can wash say a load of light colors in the morning and hang those..then a load of towels and underwear and stuff(that I can dry and put away)...in the morning..then by the evening the hang dried load is dry..I put those away..and wash a load of dark..that I hang dry before bed..that will be dried and ready to put away by morning.So "technically" even with only one small area to hang dry..(the shower curtain bar in our bathroom)..I can get 3 loads of clothes washed a day..and that more than keeps up with it..There are days when no laundrey at all needs to be done.

Dallas

When I was a SAHM, I had a MUCH better handle on laundry. Now, it's harder with working outside of the home FT and the older son having extracurricular activities (we are headed out of the house for a 3rd night in a row tonight). I do try to at least flip loads when I'm home on my lunch break and the babysitter is gracious enough to pitch in and do laundry, too.

Maybe I could get one of those rolling laundry stations with the clothing bar and use that.

 

[freezerman2000]

Some men just can't iron. I can't.
In my house hold, all dress shirts are permanent press.
Very few times does the ironing board come out.